Articles by " Blair"
18 Apr
2017

World Juggler’s Day! No… Wait… International Juggler’s Day!

  1. Baqet III is buried in the Ancient Egyp­tian ceme­tery site, Beni Has­san. Paint­ed in memo­ri­als of life’s loves and life’s joys hiero­glyph­ics donned upon his tomb reflect weavers, acro­bats and, pic­tured below, the ear­li­est known record of jug­gling.
  2. April 18th isn’t World Juggler’s Day. World Juggler’s Day is the Sat­ur­day clos­est to June 17th. April 18th is Inter­na­tion­al Juggler’s Day which is anoth­er way to say World Juggler’s Day which, as you learned ear­lier, isn’t today. I asked over at r/Juggling why this was and user thomthomthomthom pro­vid­ed a reli­able answer: 

  3. In 1998 my moth­er and I come across a jug­gler at Mon­roeville Mall who was demon­strat­ing and sell­ing a VHS instruc­tion­al video and 3 ball set from a com­pa­ny called More Balls Than Most which mom bought on the spot for me. From their pristine, suc­cinct and humor­ous instruc­tion I grew skilled in tech­ni­cal jug­gling tricks such as; the cas­cade, show­ers, the reverse cas­cade, columns, the yo-yo, the oy-oy, the claw (what it would look like if cats could jug­gle), Mill’s Mess, Rubenstein’s Revenge and, my mother’s per­son­al favorite, juggler’s ten­nis.
  4. Clouds of dancers and fog pall over the whole stage; lights crash, a creak­ing and woo­ing-ahhs and yelps of the choir spill over as a half-lizard/half-man appears from his smog­gy chrysal­is emerg­ing into a heap of human–ish form. The clouds part, a cos­mic witch of the stars peers through the dark­ness and drops a ball into his hand. I am enrap­tured by the poet­ic menagerie of Vik­tor Kee’s use of his body, the con­quer­ing of the space around him, all for the jug­gle.

  5. In 2000 my high school gym teacher Mr. Veri­co had to put up with not only me but also Shan­non Nor­man in his class. Some­times he’d teach the whole class yelling from his best Hen­ry Rollins impres­sion (whom he looked like) while wear­ing Shannon’s stud­ded and punk patch bedecked leather jack­et just to make a point; we were peo­ple to him, we weren’t just high school kids. For 2 years Veri­co let me jug­gle as my gym cred­it. I showed him pro­gress, he chart­ed it, I aced it. 
  6. Con­tact jug­gling is when the ball, usu­al­ly a large, heavy, clear acrylic ball, glides smooth­ly across the sur­face of the juggler’s body. David Bowie in the movie Labyrinth, for exam­ple, is con­tact jug­gling. BUT! IT’S NOT BOWIE! It is Michael Moschen who is crouched, blind­ed, behind David Bowie and with his right arm under Bowie’s arm he is the jug­gler behind the Gob­lin King’s crys­tal balls. 

  7. In 2010 I made 6 videos for a friend on the basics of jug­gling and how to get start­ed. Heav­i­ly influ­enced by More Balls Than Most I imi­tat­ed their teach­ing style and made a sar­cas­ti­cal­ly awk­ward set of instruc­tion­al videos rid­den with snarky quips about my balls. Here’s step 1! 

  8. I spent much of 2016’s sum­mer in the park film­ing myself and shar­ing the videos on Insta­gram and on YouTube when, through var­i­ous video edit­ing apps and after an inci­dent of acci­den­tal artistry, I found I was able to con­vert my videos from what jug­gling looks like into what jug­gling looks like to me. The video series shows the tran­scen­den­tal­ly emo­tion­al, psy­cho­log­i­cal and psy­che­delic con­nec­tion that I have to jug­gling. I have nev­er felt as if I were sin­gu­lar but rather, some­thing plu­ral and as I have always referred to myself as “we” and or “us” then that makes me a “they.” In the video series I show my selves in coop­er­a­tion; I show you them, work­ing as one. 

  9. In 2016 Ship­wreck Asun­der is in the mid­dle of bar­ber school dream­ing of straight razors and car­ni­val tents when Mike Willis and T.J. Har­ris at Mod­ern Era Wed­dings call him up and hire him to wran­gle Pittsburgh’s finest cir­cus artists. Mod­ern Era Wed­dings (win­ners of 9 “The Knot” awards), a full ser­vice wed­ding enter­tain­ment, plan­ning, DJ, and doc­u­men­ta­tion com­pa­ny decides, “you know what? Pitts­burgh needs a full ser­vice, com­pre­hen­sive cir­cus arts col­lab­o­ra­tive and we’re going to give them one!” Ship­wreck calls me, tells me to get my balls and meet him in the South Side for prac­tice. Now after 18 years of jug­gling I accept my first job as a jug­gler. I choose the stage name Zero, a char­ac­ter from my children’s-book-for-adults “The Adven­tures of Zero and The Girl” which, with all the world’s fin­gers crossed, will be pub­lished and on sale at Kards Unlim­it­ed in the near­ing future. 
  10. Speak­ing of the near­ing future… I will be work­ing with Kards Unlim­it­ed staff to devel­op a jug­gling props and mag­ic tricks sec­tion for the store. How will you know Kards Unlim­it­ed will be sell­ing jug­gling props and mag­ic tricks? Why you’ll see me and my friends from Pittsburgh’s Cir­cus Arts Col­lab­o­ra­tive (web­site com­ing soon!) giv­ing demon­stra­tions and inspir­ing the youth of today to fol­low in our play­ful foot­steps. Per­haps one day some child’s moth­er will turn him or her into a jug­gler because of me. Which I think would be pret­ty slick.
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4 Mar
2017

ITS GRAMMAR DAY OR IT’S GRAMMAR DAY!?

Your prob­a­bly sit­ting their on you’re couch reed­ing this like, “I’m a native Eng­lish speak­er I don’t knead a lessen in gram­mer.”

If that sen­tence made you want to die on the inside, then this blog is for YOU! Let’s get some things straight though.

First rule of grammar club:

We DO NOT make fun of incorrect grammar usage by someone who speaks English as a second language (ESL) because

you prob­a­bly can’t explain why it’s wrong. I’ve rarely heard some­one laugh at a poor­ly writ­ten sign and say, “HAHAHAHHA MORPHOLOGY STRIKES AGAIN!”

A per­son who uses ESL prob­a­bly knows more about Eng­lish than you do; as a native Eng­lish speak­er we take the rules for grant­ed and don’t ques­tion them, but some­one learn­ing Eng­lish is like “THIS IS THE STUPIDEST LANGUAGE” and in many ways, it is! Remem­ber this old gem?

and this clas­sic:

A lot of the rules we were taught grow­ing up (and by we I mean 30-some­things and above who remem­ber dia­gram­ming sen­tences in grade school. If you were me, it was the BEST! If you were a nor­mal per­son, it was the worst…but if you’re read­ing this, you’re in the for­mer camp).

But here’s the thing (ack! I start­ed a sen­tence with but! Shame!) the rea­sons we were told we couldn’t do cer­tain things are not rel­e­vant any­more. For exam­ple, one of the­se ancient rules is “you must not split an infini­tive.” WHY MUST WE NOT??????? Because (eeek I start­ed a sen­tence with ‘because’!! I FEEL LIKE A MILLENNIAL!!! I’M GONNA STAY UP PAST 9 TONIGHT!!!) Lat­in.  The infini­tive in Eng­lish takes the form ‘to (verb)’ as in “to go”. So when Cap­tain Kirk says “to boldy go” he is split­ting up that sexy infini­tive cou­pling with a moth­er­fuck­ing adverb. WTF amirite? Here’s the thing though, in Lat­in, “to go” is only one word, “ire”…BUT WE DON’T SPEAK LATIN ANYMORE.

{Can I side track to nerd town for a sec? K thanks. Before I went to grad­u­ate school for Speech Lan­guage Pathol­o­gy I had to brush up on some basics, but I real­ized that the­se basics weren’t exact­ly basic to your aver­age native Eng­lish speak­er. I fell so deeply mad­ly in love with my Pho­net­ics text­books (and teacher, ahem) and as a result fell so SO back in love with lan­guage.

Get­ting out­side the realm of gram­mar specif­i­cal­ly, here’s an exam­ple of a super awe­some thing: an allo­phone! So in Eng­lish, we’ve got the­se let­ters that makes sounds, let’s take the let­ter /t/for exam­ple: it’s called a phone­me; it rep­re­sents a sound. When you weren’t look­ing, /t/ went out and made a fam­i­ly! That’s right, /t/ has it’s own fuck­ing fam­i­ly, and they are called phones. The [t] in tar is dif­fer­ent from the [t] in star; if you put your hand in front of your mouth when you say “tar” you will feel a puff of air, and that is called an aspi­rat­ed [t] and has it’s own sep­a­rate sym­bol! The [t] in “writer” sounds like a [d] when spo­ken, so that gets ITS OWN SYMBOL (called a flap) and this goes on, AND THAT’S JUST ENGLISH! The­se oth­er /t/ sounds are allo­phones of /t/, aka, bas­tard chil­dren.

And don’t get me start­ed (yep I start­ed a sen­tence with AND; screw you, Ann Lan­ders) on how beau­ti­ful actu­al 3D depic­tions of spo­ken lan­guage are.}

End side track…you for­got you were in brack­ets didn’t you! We’re back to sassy town.

The 2nd rule of grammar club:


We DO make fun of the president of the United States if he makes a grammatical error, and here’s why:

BECAUSE HE’S THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER AND IF HE DOESN’T KNOW BETTER HE SHOULD HIRE PEOPLE WHO DO KNOW BETTER BECAUSE THAT’S HOW LIFE WORKS

Going to leave you with a cou­ple won­der­ful links: one will take you to a twit­ter account called Trump­Gram­mar…no expla­na­tion need­ed, and the sec­ond is a link to a study by CMU that found Trump’s gram­mar to be just below a 6th grade lev­el, Aslan save us all.

PEACE OUT (that’s right I’m end­ing on a prepo­si­tion. EAT IT.)

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3 Feb
2017

THE CUTEST CARD HOLIDAY ALL YEAR!

…is why we LOVE Valentine’s Day!

and also we love love. Like a lot. It’s our thing.

I’m going to try my very best to stay calm and not to shout at you dur­ing this tour of our best Valentine’s Day cards. Look how calm I am. No hyper­bol­ic excla­ma­tions. NBD. What­ev. I could care less. Ok let’s look at some cards.

OH MY GOD THO LOOK AT THE PUNS!!!!!!!!!

punlove

Pun Love

Not only are the­se cards the CUTEST, and fair-trade recy­cled, they also hap­pen to sup­port an amaz­ing cause.  The card mak­ers are wom­en who have escaped sex traf­fick­ing in the Philip­pines and young adults orphaned by dis­ease in Rwan­da. Each card is signed  and so con­nects you to the life you are help­ing to trans­form. I know. Cry­ing. I can’t even. Also from Good Paper, some adorb gay/lesbian designs because LOVE IS MOTHERF***ING LOVE! Ahem.

loveislove

May­be puns aren’t your thing. How about some SCIENCE! I’d say the more roman­tic sci­ences are Chem­istry (duh) and astron­o­my (man crush on Neil Degrasse Tyson):

 

 

Sci­ence not your thing? How about the 80s! The 80s is everyone’s thing. Except cur­mud­geons. The­se cards are by a new com­pa­ny we are IN LOVE with called The Found:

retrolove

Retro Love

May­be you want that vin­tage vibe; check out the­se beau­ti­ful water col­or cards from Driscoll:

dricoll

How about the­se nat­u­ral­ly occur­ring hearts in nature from the love­ly Hearts Hap­pen line, we have a bunch and they are all so sweet:

Hearts Happen

Hey if you like nature, may­be you like NPR? Eh? Safe assump­tion? Ani­mals? Eh? Try out the­se cards from Lady Pilot, also a new favorite:

liberllove

Let’s get seri­ous now. Let’s get down to the best kind of love. NERD LOVE. And the best kind of cards, OUR CARDS! That’s right, the­se are home­made fresh out the oven best served with geek sauce.

hplove

 

nerdlove

But seri­ous­ly, we have seri­ous cards too. We have it all, and we sin­cere­ly love to help you find the per­fect card so if you need some ideas, just ask! Hedge­hog card? Yep! Cats? Duh! Dogs? C’mon. Cards from my grams? Of course! And don’t for­get, Galentine’s Day is real, don’t for­get to send your friends some love. This par­ty isn’t just for lovers any­more;-)

with love,

Blair.

 

 

 

 

 

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23 Nov
2016

Top 10 Things We Are Thankful For!

thanks

Now more than ever we need to remind our­selves what we are thank­ful for and not take those things for grant­ed. So with­out fur­ther ado:

  1. Nerds. You make the world go round. Enthu­si­asm is the spice of life, in a Dune kind of way.
  2. Left­over Hal­loween can­dy. Rot­ting my teeth as we speak, and Star­burst are lit­er­al­ly fly­ing across the office at an alarm­ing and dan­ger­ous rate. 
  3. Books. But seri­ous­ly, can you even imag­ine life with­out? Don’t. Don’t try. It’s awful and cold and dark in that place. 
  4. Pets. Along with books, make life worth liv­ing. Some­times I look at my cats and get real­ly tripped out that this super fuzzy lit­tle crea­ture with legs and a face that exists on this plan­et is liv­ing in my house and likes to hang out with me. 
  5. Har­ry Potter/J.K. Rowl­ing. We’re pret­ty sure that Har­ry Pot­ter is 95% of what we talk about here at KU, and the oth­er 5% is usu­al­ly about remind­ing the males to use the bath­room spray in the employ­ee bath­room. (Note: We need more bath­room spray.)
  6. Each oth­er. We like to cre­ate a fam­i­ly here at Ku, and right now our staff is aces. We are real­ly lucky to have real­ly good peo­ple work­ing with us.
  7. Game of Thrones ref­er­ences.  Ok I lied, our con­ver­sa­tions here are 60% Har­ry Pot­ter and 40% GOT. We like to yell “YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW!” at trainees. But in a nice way.
  8.  Star Wars ref­er­ences. Ok I lied again. Our con­vos our 50% Pot­ter, 20% GOT, and 1,000% Star Wars ref­er­ences. Most used: “the­se are the cards you’re look­ing for” and “that’s no (insert moon-like object).
  9. & 10. The last 2 are ded­i­cat­ed to YOU our won­der­ful and loy­al cus­tomers because I want to talk about you for more than as sen­tence. You are sin­cere­ly what makes us love com­ing to work every­day. Inter­act­ing with you about what you’re read­ing, watch­ing, eat­ing, and espe­cial­ly hear­ing you laugh, reminds us why we’re here. We have fun with each oth­er here, but it’s the cus­tomers that real­ly make it all worth it. 

Hap­py Thanks­giv­ing to you and your fam­i­lies, human and feline and canine and all. 

-Kards Unlim­it­ed

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3 Nov
2016

National Sandwich Day: Tips from a Pro!

Nobody gets me like you do sandwich

Nobody gets me like you do sand­wich

 
On this spe­cial day, we have out­sourced this blog to a pro sand­wich lover, the one and only Marne Orenich. The girl has sand­wich tat­toos on her body, what more sand­wich street cred do you need? Enjoy her rec­om­men­da­tions!
 
I would nev­er call myself a “food­ie” (wretch), and I admit that I’ve been slip­pin’ on check­ing out the ridicu­lous amount of awe­some restau­rants pop­ping up in the Burgh, but if there is one thing I know to be real and true, it’s that I am obsessed with sand­wich­es. If you want proof, you can talk to Bree, who drove 7 hours across the state with me to go to the Sand­wich Club sum­mit last year, or the tat­too artist who per­ma­nent­ly drilled a hoagie onto my ribs on the way back from said sum­mit (Bree got a grilled cheese on her leg). 
 
For Nation­al Sand­wich Day, my dear friend Aman­da asked me to write a lit­tle some­thing, so I thought I’d share a hand­ful of my favorite san­dos from our deli­cious city. 
 
Buf­falo Chick­en Hoagie- Spak Bros
Spak Bros knows how to do a hoagie. I delight in any­thing buf­falo-relat­ed, so I go with grilled chick­en (to be healthy, right?), and ditch the veg­gies (wait, that’s not that healthy), pro­volone cheese, and of course blue cheese on the side (yes, dou­ble cheese). Hon­or­able men­tion to the Sei­tan Melt (or “Smelt”) that every veg­an or veg­e­tar­i­an in PGH is obsessed with. 
 
Tuna Melt– Hanlon’s (Crafton)
Hanlon’s is a lit­tle trea­sure, and a favorite of every­one I work with in Crafton. Their Tuna Melt isn’t any­thing fan­cy, but it’s done per­fect­ly on toasty bread with cheese and toma­to. 
 
Banh Mi- bril­lobox
Every­one I know LOVES this sam­mie. I actu­al­ly prefer the tofu ver­sion, even though I eat meat, but pork and chick­en are also avail­able. I rec­om­mend get­ting the option­al jalapeños if you like it spicy. (Please note that I do know of Lucy and her mag­i­cal Bahn Mi’s in the Strip, but our beloved Rick Sebak has already high­light­ed her, so I thought I’d give bril­lo a deserved shout out.)
 
Baba Jaga- Apteka
Described as “Veg pate, Pol­ish pick­les, smoked onion remoulade, pick­led beet, mus­tard, house seed bread”, it didn’t nec­es­sar­i­ly appeal to me until I tried half of my friend’s. It imme­di­ate­ly blew me away and became a sand­wich I knew I’d come back for. 
 
Rose­mary Braised Beef- Gau­cho Par­il­la Argenti­na
This one is mem­o­rable on fla­vor and size. When I first got it, I knew there was no way I could fin­ish it in one go. Rose­mary is one of my favorite herbs, and this beef is per­fect. 
 
I want­ed to keep this list short n sweet, but if you’re hun­gry for more, I’d sug­gest watch­ing Rick Sebak’s Sand­wich­es That You Will Like, a must see for any san­do lover. In clos­ing, I ask you what Rick asks at the end of his tasty doc­u­men­tary: Which is more impor­tant in a sand­wich? The bread, or the fill­ing?  A true ques­tion for the ages…
 
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5 Jul
2015

International Kissing Day (aka Everyday)

My first french kiss.

My first french kiss.

It was 1989, I was 8 years old, in the 3rd grade.  I lived on a mil­i­tary base in Win­ter Har­bor, Maine. Every Fri­day, a van would come and pick up all the kids a (in a legal non preda­to­ry way) and take us to Mill­bridge, the near­est town to see a movie. [INSERT EPIC MINDBLOWING UPDATE: while writ­ing this I googled the the­ater, which is like googling an image in a dream you had or like that scene in High Fideli­ty where John Cusack finds his ex list­ed in the phone­book and screams “She’s an extra ter­res­tri­al, a ghost, a myth, not a per­son in a phone book!”…basi­cal­ly you don’t real­ly expect it to exist out­side of your brain because it’s YOURS and it’s the PAST…anyway, an arti­cle post­ed TODAY telling me that the own­er died and the the­ater will be clos­ing after 36 sum­mers. True sto­ry: here’s the arti­cle.]

milbridgetheaterSo despite my tears I’ll keep typ­ing. There was a boy I liked, but he couldn’t decide between my friend Sarah and I (I even­tu­al­ly fell for her too, oof.) We all com­pro­mised and he asked both of us to be his date that night (yes, 3rd grade.) Dur­ing the movie he had his arms around both of us and I was hap­py and sad and full of exis­ten­tial angst. On the ride home I start­ed to pull away as the new Aero­smith song “What it Takes” (To Let You Go) played on the radio. It was rain­ing, and I had my head again­st the win­dow-it was pret­ty epic; one of those moments that NO ONE IN THE WORLD COULD EVEN UNDERSTAND because YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW because I was the ONLY PERSON TO EVER LOVE ANOTHER PERSON, etc.

So we get back home and as I go to get out at my stop, he takes my hand, pulls me toward him and says “let me french you good­bye” but with­out wait­ing for an “ok” from me. Every­thing went into slo mo and all I could see was his mouth open real­ly wide and com­ing toward me like Alien to Sigour­ney Weaver. I closed my eyes and part­ed my lips for my first kiss:

wet­ness

strange suc­tion

a tick­le on the roof of my mouth

a slick tin­gle around my lips

what actu­al­ly hap­pened: his mouth was just on top of my mouth, we kept them wide open, he licked my hard palet­te and then cir­cled my lips like he was Burt’s Bees. Done. Over.

Sud­den­ly, all that angsty exis­ten­tial dark­ness lift­ed as I real­ized I NEVER want­ed him to kiss me again. I looked at Sarah and smiled as I gave up my claim on him and turned my sites toward her. Let’s just say thanks to play­ing house I learned how to real­ly enjoy kiss­ing, and haven’t stopped since. My fiance and I were fea­tured on the cov­er of DC’s city paper kiss­ing at the Pride parade because we are both huge Allies, and because we both looked pret­ty hot. pridekiss (1)Just say­ing. I mean but real­ly. When I’m 80 I’ll remem­ber the­se boobs fond­ly and be hap­py they made it onto the inter­net.

So, kiss­ing pro tips:

1. Don’t force it; move with your part­ner, com­pro­mise your styles if they are dif­fer­ent and find your rhythm.

2. As I learned when I was 8, don’t go in with your mouth wide open and don’t try to eat your part­ner.

3. Remem­ber to swal­low once in a while.

4. Date or be engaged or mar­ried to some­one super hot.

5. KISS THE ONE YOU LOVE EVERY TIME YOU THINK IT. If you’re like me you wor­ry about death a lot. So kiss before sleep, at good­byes, and every moment in between. Because, death.

6. Don’t think about death.

HAPPY KISSING EVERYONE!!!

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8 Nov
2014

Stoker? I Hardly Bram’d Her!

 

“I find that joke to be hilar­i­ous!”

Cred­it for that genius pun goes to a book club friend who shout­ed it out dur­ing a meet­ing.  Dur­ing the mon­th of Octo­ber we read Drac­u­la, and at first I wasn’t on board. I thought Jonathan Hark­er was a com­plete idiot (appro­pri­ate­ly played by Keanu Reeves in Coppola’s ver­sion) and I could bare­ly get past the sce­nes where VERY OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE THINGS should have turned him around on his jour­ney to Dracula’s castle. If peo­ple looked at me and con­stant­ly made the sign of the cross I would may­be reeval­u­ate my deci­sions in life. But real­ly.

I am very hap­py I stuck with it though. As the diary entries from Hark­er decreased and the let­ters and entries from oth­er char­ac­ters like Mina, Dr. Seward, and Van Hels­ing increased, I was sucked in. One thing I love about this book is how every­one is con­stant­ly telling each oth­er how much they love each oth­er; lit­er­al­ly every let­ter and every meet­ing is filled with praise about how great a friend and over­all awe­some human every­one is. It was hard to get some of the imagery from the film out of my head as I read; Stoker’s Drac­u­la is noth­ing like the movies, and the sexy parts are cer­tain­ly not as sexy. I remem­ber antic­i­pat­ing the scene in which Mina finds Lucy in the gar­den hav­ing ani­mal­is­tic sexy time with Drac­u­la as a wolf…but in the book this scene isn’t near­ly as hot. Also, Coppola’s ver­sion makes Van Hels­ing (played by Antho­ny Hop­kins) a total per­vy lunatic a-hole with Asperger’s. In the book, Van Hels­ing is noble and com­pas­sion­ate, and does NOT engage in leg hump­ing while scream­ing “she’s the devil’s con­cu­bine!” No thank-you. My favorite line of the book by far is Hark­er to Van Hels­ing upon their first meet­ing: “Doc­tor, you don’t know what it is to doubt every­thing, even your­self. No, you don’t; you couldn’t with eye­brows like yours.” HA! I want to start say­ing that to peo­ple all the time.

So about Stoker…weird to think of him as Irish, no? The name is so drenched in East­ern Euro­pean-ness that I was sur­prised to learn he was a total gin­ger. I’m not going to go into a bunch of bor­ing facts about him so I will high­light the good stuff:

  • He was bedrid­den with an unknown ill­ness until the age of 7.
  • He got a BA in math­e­mat­ics from Trin­i­ty. (lady­bon­er!)
  • His first work of non-fic­tion was called “The Duties of Clerks of Pet­ty Sessions”.….…no thank-you.
  • He snagged Oscar Wilde’s wom­an! (They both used her as a beard. I SAID IT.)
  • The orig­i­nal man­u­script was lost and found in a barn in West­ern PA in the 1980’s, ha!
  • In 1922, a Ger­man com­pa­ny ille­gal­ly made Nos­fer­atu and Stoker’s wife sued to have all copies destroyed. She won the case in 1925, but luck­i­ly copies sur­vived, and Her­zog (my boyfriend) remade it in 1979.
  • It took him 6 years to write it! Main­ly because he was a devot­ed slave (and may­be more) to Hen­ry Irv­ing, the great­est actor of the time, and worked tire­less­ly for him as the man­ager of his the­ater, the Lyceum. Dude skipped his own hon­ey­moon to hang with Irv­ing. Dis­like.
  • Count Drac­u­la was “Count Wampyr” orig­i­nal­ly.
  • Con­trary to pop­u­lar belief, Drac­u­la is NOT based on Vlad the Impaler. Drac­u­la means “dev­il” in the Wal­lachi­an tongue, but that’s the only ref­er­ence in Stoker’s notes–and he was a METICULOUS note tak­er.
  • In the last years of his life he was such a homo­phobe that he was for the impris­on­ment of gay authors, despite his long friend­ship with Wilde. This is most­ly attrib­ut­ed to his own clos­et­ed sex­u­al­i­ty. BUMMER.

I will leave you with a gem I found in the spi­der-web­by vaults of YouTube, fea­tur­ing Mr. Mor­gan Free­man as Drac­u­la:

 

 

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16 Oct
2014

Dear Best Boss Ever…

GameOfThrones_Teaser04_Screencap_12

So. May­be it’s her love of pen­cils. May­be, it’s when she said “Here’s $1500 to nev­er crap on me or any­one ever!” (I’m going to let you fig­ure out that con­text. Hint: Take it lit­er­al­ly. Hin­tx2: This is just a shad­ow of what we dis­cuss open­ly.) May­be it’s how she speaks in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS ALWAYS, or may­be it’s because she’s the only oth­er human I’ve ever met EVER that uses hyper­bole as much as I do about EVERYTHING EVER because EVERYTHING IS THE BEST THING EVER ALL THE THINGS OMGGGGGPFFFFFF. May­be it’s because we under­stand each oth­er when we say “can you do that thing because of things”.  May­be it is her load (hehe) of adorable catch phras­es and col­lo­qui­alisms that make my heart ‘swell three sizes that day’ like the Grinch. I’m going to run with the whole Grinch thing here not only because she loves Christ­mas (don’t ever call it x-mas) but because it’s sort of a bril­liant segue…

The thing is, I was the Grinch for a while there. It was one of the dark­est times in my life, and I’m 33 so I can say “one of” and mean it, as opposed to those peo­ple who are 17 and write auto­bi­ogra­phies. I lost myself for almost a year, but thanks to a hand­ful of peo­ple who loved me, I didn’t lose touch com­plete­ly. My boss, my friend; she gave me lit­tle dos­es of her light every so often, and she wait­ed. She wait­ed for me to fall in love with life again. She wait­ed for me to remem­ber how to laugh again. She gave me rea­sons to laugh. She remind­ed me that you get to decide who your fam­i­ly is; she remind­ed me that I’ll always have a fam­i­ly at Kards Unlim­it­ed.

Hap­py Boss’s Day to you, Kris­ten. I raise my glass to you, even though it’s filled with cham­pag­ne AND I HATE CHAMPAGNE.

P.s. I will now explain/admit that I total­ly used the game of thrones pic to lure peo­ple here. Not at all because IT’S THE BEST SHOW EVER OF ALL TIME.

Bri­an Boi­tano. I’m out.

brian-boitano

Love,

Blair.

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