Articles by " Tessa"
19 Feb

Top 5 Gifts for the People who think they’re Batman

Do you have a friend who disappears for hours and comes back bruised? Does your friend randomly do a lot of pushups in the middle of the floor? Is your friend able to, for some odd reason, tell you every species of bats and which one is the scariest? Are they a billionaire and have done nothing to achieve this status except be born to the right parents? If so, your friend may be Batman. Or if not Batman, they might think they are Batman.

So what do you get as a gift for your Batman-friend? Are you at a loss, thinking that they probably already own every cool gadget? At Kards Unlimited, we were also stumped by this question. Fortunately, we have Batman’s famous butler’s number, and he had all the advice.



“Bandaids,”Alfred immediately said, when we called him up at the mansion in Gotham. “He is always in need of Bandaids after a night of running about like an idiot. Especially pretty Bandaids. He’s always going for very boring Bandaids, like skin-color or black. I shake my head at this every time. Why Bru-. . . Batman? Why be boring?”

Gotcha, Alfred. So for your Batman-friend who may or may not actually be Batman, we have lots of Bandaids with a special twist at Kards Unlimited. Once you enter the magical store, take three steps and look left.  Here you will see about waist-level (or head-level, really depends how tall you are) unicorn Bandaids, Jane Austin Bandaids, Edgar Allen Poe Bandaids, Jesus Bandaids, and more. So if your Batman- friend gets a cut, give them an optimistic Bandaid that will make that mean frown upside down.


bat2A Graphic Novel of Themselves

“Batman,” said Alfred while preparing a cup of Earl-Grey tea, “is a bit egotistical. He likes reading books about himself because he likes to see how he’s portrayed in a plethora of mediums, including graphic novels. Why this is, don’t ask me.”

So buy your Batman-friend a graphic novel of themselves! At Kards Unlimited, we shelve a plethora of Batman graphic novels. If you don’t know which books of themselves they already own, ask them! Then surprise them with a mean-looking graphic novel such as Batman: R.I.P., Batman: The City of Owls, Batman: Death in the Family, and more!

bat3A Batman Through the Years Mug

“Batman”, said Alfred, “always likes to drink coffee in the morning; I like tea.” Alfred hinted that Batman’s time with a certain American girlfriend brought about this change of taste, but then quickly changed the topic to more shallow complaints. “Batman keeps forgetting to bring his mugs down from his bedroom so none of them get washed. I told him, we made a deal, that if I helped him with his taxes then he would wash his own mugs. Well, since he won’t wash his own, he keeps trying to use mine. And we all know that the taste of coffee in a mug can really ruin the taste of tea. So, yes, if you could get a great mug that he will want to wash so he’ll stay away from mine, that would be bloody fantastic.”

KU’s Batman Through the Years is perfect. Not only is it an awesome mug, but it also serves as a way for your Batman-friend to contemplate their past life as they sip warm, hot coffee. This is definitely a mug they will want to wash again and again and again.  


bat4I Heart Guts

“Batman keeps hurting his organs,” Alfred said, “even though I keep warning him, he is not being kind to his body. If you could get him something to remind him to be kind to his body, I would be grateful.”

Here at KU, we sell a line called “I Heart Guts”: organs that are soft, cuddly and totally realistic. Have your Batman-friend snuggle with a spleen, a heart, appendix, tooth, and we think they will immediately become more aware of the harm they could be causing their little friends inside themselves. Also, they make great companions to make your Batman-friend feel less lonely, just in case their significant ex is killed in an explosion set off by a joker.


bat5All My Friends Are Dead

This small book, found on our coffee table book selection, was not recommended by Alfred but recommended by KU. This book will help any person who identifies as Batman connect with their inner feelings as they realize they are not alone with all their friends being dead. Whether a dinosaur, a sock, or a tree, your Batman friend will laugh and cry simultaneously as they remember all the friends they have lost and make them feel, hopefully, not so alone. Especially if they are reading this while cuddling with an organ.

But the most important thing, as Alfred summed up at the end of our conversation, is love. “I am sure, whatever you give Batman (or someone who thinks they are Batman), as long as it is given in love, it will be gratefully appreciated. Saving a city is rough business, and a lonely one. So love goes a long way.”

That’s it on our end. Please comment below on other gifts you think would be perfect for someone who identifies as Batman. And what’s better, coffee or tea?

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13 Feb

Top 5 Gifts for the Person who Hates Valentine’s Day

hate1So, you know someone, perhaps even your partner, who hates Valentine’s Day?

Lemme guess, they say things like:
“Valentine’s Day is a commercialized holiday that capitalizes on people’s love with cheap items that have nothing to do with love.”
“You don’t need Valentine’s Day to do something special for your loved one!” (p.s. please ask them when they did buy something special for their loved one that wasn’t on a birthday or a holiday)

But really, their excuses are hiding a bigger concern: their hearts are made of stone. Or, insecurity (stone is more likely). Whether this someone is in a relationship and doesn’t know what to get so hides their insecurity with their anger for Hallmark or a single person who just can’t stand seeing so many people loving each other, here are 5 great gifts to give them to warm that frozen heart.









Any other recommendations for your Valentine-hating friend or lover? Comment below!

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10 Feb

Top 5 Gifts to Get Some Lovin’

So, you want some lovin’? And lovin’, I don’t mean just a hug. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, there’s pressure to get chocolate and flowers. These aren’t bad, but if you want something more original, you are in luck: Kards Unlimited is here to help.

(also, if you are reading this and it’s not close to Valentine’s Day, that’s OK: it’s always nice to add some lovin’ to your life)

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 7.12.40 PMShower Bursts

Nothing is better when gettin’ some lovin’ than when everyone involved smells like heaven. That’s why KU recommends shower bursts, found just to the left of the counter when you walk into the store. Small, cute, wrapped in shiny paper, these shower bursts are simple to use and yet highly effective. Unwrap, put on the edge of the tub while in the shower, and these soaps will fill the air and your skin with the smells of lavender, tea tree, herbs and more herbs. Each color helps with a specific area, such as stress, headache, etc. So buy a shower burst specific to your loved one and not only will everyone smell great, but they will also be happy you thought of them. And, you know, you are sure to get some lovin’ if you smell like heaven.

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 7.09.59 PMCandles

After you step out the shower smelling delicious, you are going to want some good lighting. Good lighting that will flatter the entire body is low lighting to no lighting with a hint of orange. What provides this kind of lighting? Candles. Here at KU, we sell a plethora of nice, sturdy candles with nice colors. Candles are great because they’ve been around forever. Look up pictures and paintings from the past and what do you see? Candles. If you buy a candle, it’s like you’re saying I’ve loved you to the Egyptian days and back. That’s a long time to love someone.

365 positions

Are you ever in the bedroom and get a bit bored with how repetitive . . . It. . . has become? This small book not only can fix this boredom, but also gives a couple or multiple people something to look forward to each day by providing a different position each day. This book could bring a flame back into an old relationship or really rocket off a new one.sexTry strange positions, try dangerous positions, try fun positions. Given as a gift (wouldn’t recommend for just a crush, unless you really want to be bold) this can show your own commitment for changing things up, which is sure to bring a smile.

Card Vouchers

Have you ever been the recipient or maker of card vouchers? Where, because you have no money, you draw up card vouchers with sayings with how you will do certain tasks for them or favors, such as win an argument, or this time you’ll do the laundry. For me, I once received card vouchers from a friend but never used them because the cards were made from cheap paper and ended up crumpled and ripped. At Kards Unlimited, we sell the good kind. Card Vouchers for Lovers is a small booklet with beautiful quality paper. voucherThe suggestions, because they are written by an outsider, are even better for a relationship because they are ideas you might not have thought of. So try it out! Also, in case you were wondering about expiration dates, the cards are valid unless something occurs to the relationship. A nice add on to avoid awkwardness.

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 7.04.54 PMAny Anne Rice Book

If you want to get some lovin’ and feeling a bit daring, I recommend Anne Rice’s literature to read aloud in bed to your significant other. Her writing is sometimes unintentionally hilarious (add on: drink whenever she writes “blushes”) but it also makes 50 Shades of Grey look like it was written for kids. Cringe-outwardly, but her tales ranging from vampires to twists on classic fairy tales will suck you in and leave you wanting more. Reading aloud with a significant other can make the sexy moments funny, give great ideas for role-play afterwards, and can become a fun contest in who can be more creative with coming up with memorable voices for characters.


And really, these gifts are just to help you get some lovin’. The best thing you can do to get some lovin’ is to listen, to pay attention, and give lots of hugs. Hugs always work out best. Please comment below on how successful (or unsuccessful) these suggestions were!

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