Here at KU, the staff isn’t shy of flirting. We flirt with customers, with each other, and even with ourselves (OK, I can’t speak to the rest of the staff on that last one, but all I’m saying is that if you’ve never looked yourself in the mirror and said aloud ‘my, my, someone’s looking adorably nerdy/damn sexy/pleasurably pleasant today,’ then you’re missing out. Makes the soul feel good.) So Flirting Day on February 18 should probably be one of Kards’ official holidays, behind May the Fourth Be With You Day, Pierogi and Taco Days, and, you know, actual holidays.
Flirting Day, or, alternatively, Flirting Week if one needs more time for the flirtage, takes place each year in the third week of February as part of a post-Valentine’s week dedicated to celebrating singlehood. Other days include Singles Awareness Day and Perfume Day. There’s not a whole lot of background for this holiday, but it’s pretty self-explanatory. Find a person and have a good-natured, friendly, and most importantly, not creepy flirt session.
Don’t know how to flirt? It’s cool, me neither. (Have I brought up the fact that I’m a crazy cat lady way too many times while trying to woo a stranger? Yes. Yes, I have. And I will again and again and again because, well, you can’t teach an old cat new tricks.) However, thanks to the interweb, I have compiled a list of some of the best nerdy pickup lines to help you get your foot in the door. Once wooing is initiated with these flawless lines,* you are free to flirt on, my friends.
For the science nerd:
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are CuTe.
Do you like science? Because I’ve got my ion you.
Do you have 11 protons? Because you are Sodium fine!
For the music nerd:
I bet you and I could get into some serious treble together.
You must be a choir director, because you make my heart sing.
You had me at cello.
For the literary nerd:
Charles Dickens may have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.
I believe in The Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m just going to say it: I’m Wilde about you.
I like books, you like books, why don’t we start writing the story of us?
If it was 1984, and I was Big Brother, I’d only watch you.
For the computer nerd:
You must be wi-fi, because I feel a connection here.
Is your name Google? ‘Cause you’re everything I’ve been searching for.
Roses are #ff0000, violets are #0000ff, all my base are belong to you.
For the video game nerd:
Are you wearing Pegasus Boots? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day. (Zelda)
Are you a pikachu? Because you are shockingly beautiful. (Pokemon)
I think something is wrong with my auto-aim. I can’t take my eyes off you. (Halo)
Will you be my Final Fantasy? (Not explaining this one. If you don’t get it, you probably shouldn’t use it.)
For the fandom nerd:
I’ve fallen harder for you than Bran Stark. (Game of Thrones)
You’re the Obi-Wan for me. (Star Wars)
The fires of Mount Doom aren’t nearly as hot as you. (Lord of the Rings)
Your phaser’s on kill, but you’re stunning me. (Star Trek)
You must play Quidditch. I know a Keeper when I see one. (Harry Potter)
You must be an angel because your beauty is blinding. (Supernatural)
Are you a weeping angel? Because I can’t take my eyes off you. (Dr. Who)
All right, you are ready to head out on your flirting adventure. Happy Flirting Day!
*Pickup lines have not been personally tested on humans, only my cat, who seemed to appreciate them. Or maybe she was purring at the bowl of food in my hand. Either way, results not guaranteed.