The night before I graduated from college this past June I was sitting on a porch with a group of my good friends reminiscing and playing a rousing game of “never have I ever.” (Don’t judge me, we’ve all played it.) I was sitting in between my two best friends, Ranleigh, on my right was eating a bag of Sunchips, I was drinking champagne through a straw, and Josie, on my left, looked at both of us and said, “If I learned one thing senior year, it is that Ranleigh loves chips and Terry loves straws.” It had become a running joke amongst us that Ranleigh was always eating chips and I was always drinking some sort of beverage through a straw.

Whats better than just drinking through straws? Drinking Mojitos through straws with your friends in a boat!

Whats better than just drinking through straws? Drinking Mojitos through straws with your friends in a boat!

I can’t quite explain my love for drinking straws but damn, I tell you, it is a love that runs deep and true. Since graduation and my subsequent departure from a snack bar and dining hall with all the straws I could ever desire at my disposal, I’ve taken to buying (and, actually, receiving in my stocking from Santa), straws to drink all my beverages at home through. Upon reflection, I think the only time you’ll ever see me drinking any kind of beverage without a straw is when I’m drinking coffee, because, you know, hot beverages and plastic don’t really get along too well.

January 3rd is National Drinking Straw Appreciation Day and I’m here to proclaim, loud and proud, that I appreciate the heck out of drinking straws! Did you know that drinking sugary drinks through a straw actually reduces tooth decay? I don’t drink much soda, but tooth decay is no bueno so this is a great thing!

I don’t know if it’s “normal” to have favorite types of straws, but I’ve never claimed to be anything close to “normal,” so, may I present you with Terry’s list of straw types from favorite to least favorite:

1) Paper Straws – PAPER STRAWS MAN! Does anyone else remember the good old days at the Pittsburgh Zoo when they only had paper straws in attempts to avoid animal choking disasters? Even though the idea (and execution to an extent) of a paper straw is somewhat nonsensical, there is something incredibly fun about drinking through paper. We even carry some here at KU!

Meri Meri Paper Straws right here at KU!

Meri Meri Paper Straws right here at KU!

2) Bendy Straws – Whoever invented the bendy straw was either a) a genius or b) the laziest person to ever live. Regardless, having the ability to adjust the angle at which my straw reaches my mouth is a privilege I will never take for granted.

3) Cocktail Straws – Well, for starters, cocktails. But further, I have mixed feelings about these tiny little straws that I’m not sure are technically meant to be sipped through. On one hand, they allow me to get every last drop of whiskey from my glass without getting a face full of ice (see below: Demetri Martin bit about straws and ice), but on the other hand, they make me drink my whiskey way faster than I would if I were sipping it which is bad news for not only my liver, but my bank account.

4) Crazy Straws – These are especially good for drinking chocolate milk through. The opacity of chocolate milk swirling up loop after loop of translucent color plastic makes me feel like I’m five years old all over again.

5) Straw Glasses – My best friend and I bought these to drink our beer through one night when I was visiting her at college a few years ago and, while the idea was fun, the design needed some work. The plastic was a bit too thick for proper suction and kinked easily, and forget about successfully washing them out. However, they were really fun for about ten minutes and for a dollar store purchase, I’d say it was worth it.

Caution: Straw glasses may cause uncontrollable giggling

Caution: Straw glasses may cause uncontrollable giggling

YAY BEVERAGES AND YAY STRAWS!

 

 

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