August Events (2)

Well folks, we’re into the last third of sum­mer. Sum­mer tech­ni­cal­ly ends on Sep­tem­ber 23, but we all know that sum­mer real­ly ends when Labor Day week­end ends. So, with that in mind, let’s all appre­ci­ate the CRAP out of the next mon­th. August is full of fun rea­sons to cel­e­brate, start­ing with goat cheese and end­ing with More Herbs, Less Salt Day! Click through to see ‘em all!

All of August (1)Nation­al Goat Cheese Mon­th. I’m prob­a­bly extreme­ly biased because goat cheese is my favorite cheese of all time (sor­ry Velvee­ta, you just aren’t real food) but MAN is goat cheese good. Creamy, deli­cious, and soft, I could eat goat cheese every sin­gle day. On crack­ers, in sal­ads, straight off of my fin­ger… My point is you should be get­ting your be-hind to your near­est cheese-ery and pur­chas­ing some goat cheese.

Goat Cheese

Why not eat goat cheese, you stu­pid pho­to? WHY NOT???!?!!?

Nation­al Panini Mon­th. Wow, August was tai­lor made for my taste buds. Panin­is are divine. My per­son­al favorite involves pesto, moz­zarel­la, and toma­toes, delight­ful­ly smushed between two but­tery, crunchy pieces of french or sour­dough bread. May­be with some onions thrown in there too. If you don’t live panin­is you’re doing them wrong. Prob­a­bly. Who hates panin­is? CRAZY PEOPLE.

You're getting veeeeryyyyy hungryyyyyyyyy

You’re get­ting veeeeryyyyy hun­gryyyyyyyyy

August 1-7

August starts out strong with Spi­der-Man Day on the first, and Inter­na­tion­al Clown Week through the 7.  Next up is Nation­al Hobo Week­end 3–9. What a time to be alive! Dom Perignon Invents Cham­pag­ne day is August 4, and you can take your cham­pag­ne with you as you cel­e­brate Nation­al Farmer’s Mar­ket Week from the 4 through the 10.  Nation­al Mus­tard Day dom­i­nates August 5, and you should be sure to bust out your best Dijon. Or yel­low. Or what­ev­er. The end of the first week of August takes a beery turn, with Root Beer Float Day on the 6th, fol­lowed by Inter­na­tion­al Beer Day on the 7th. So much beer, so lit­tle time.

Birth­days this week: The Jok­er, Her­man Melville,and Kev­in Smith (August 1), Neil Arm­strong (August 5), Andy Warhol and Piers Antho­ny (August 6), and Sid­ney Cros­by (August 7).

August 8-14

By far the odd­est hol­i­day of the year comes on August 8, with Sneak Some Zuc­chini onto your Neighbor’s porch Night. Just um, make sure they don’t think you’re tres­pass­ing onto their prop­er­ty with zuc­chini. “And just where were you going to put that zuc­chini?” “ON YOUR PORCH! On your
porch *begins to cry*.” Don’t let things get out of hand. Mov­ing right along, we’ve got Nation­al Res­ur­rect Romance Week from the 9 to the 15. Light some can­dles, change the sheets (oh la la), and open their car door for them. Or what­ev­er would make them hap­py. You know what I mean. Weird Con­test Week runs from August 10 to the 14, and Nation­al Duran Duran Appre­ci­a­tion Day shares the spot­light with S’Mores Day on the 10. Eat­ing s’mores while lis­ten­ing to Duran Duran? Now that’s my kind of par­ty. This week fin­ish­es up with Vinyl Record Day on the 12. Sor­ry, can’t talk, this vinyl isn’t going to play itself here guys.

Birth­days this week: Gin­ny Weasley (August 11), William Gold­man (August 12), Alfred Hitch­cock (August 13), and Steve Mar­t­in (August 14).

August 15-21

This week is entire­ly birth­days and I’m not even mad about it. I per­son­al­ly view birth­days as sacred cel­e­bra­tions that should be hon­ored by let­ting the birth­day boy/girl/person do what­EV­ER the h-e-dou­ble-hock­ey-sticks they want to. Birth­days this week: Lois Lane 17, Gene Rod­den­ber­ry, Ogden Nash, and Mr. Snuf­fle­u­pa­gus (August 19), H.P. Love­craft (August 20), and Christo­pher Robin Mil­ne (August 21).

August 22-31

I know what you’re think­ing, and Go Top­less Day (August 23) is not top­less wom­en. It’s for tak­ing the top off of your Jeep, y’all. Hug Your Boss Day is August 23, so hope­ful­ly your boss is into hugs and HR is not into fir­ing peo­ple for hugs at work. The 24 is a busy day with Plu­to Demot­ed DayVesu­vius Day, and Nation­al Waf­fle Day all vying for your atten­tion. Here’s how you do it. Waf­fles for all meals (obv.), try­ing to see Plu­to through a tele­scope for a few hours, weep­ing about it’s plan­e­tary sta­tus and/or lack there­of, and final­ly Googling Mt. Vesu­vius for evar. Last but CERTAINLY NOT least: More Herbs, Less Salt Day is August 29. Herbs are hon­est­ly way bet­ter than salt, and they can trans­form a meal from blah to OH MY GAHD. Salt is for losers. Just kid­ding. Kind of. Eff you hyper­ten­sion!

Birth­days this week: Ray Brad­bury and Dorothy Park­er (August 22), Gene Kel­ly (August 23), Tim Bur­ton and Sean Con­nery (August 25), Pee Wee Her­man and Ira Lev­in (August 27).

So, what do you think?