July 1st. You may know it as a typ­i­cal sum­mer day, or may­be as a lead up to the fourth of July? Well you’d be right and so very wrong on both accounts. July 1st is a day we should all cel­e­brate in supre­me thank­ful­ness, because it’s the day that the man who kept the arc of the covenant out of the hands of the Nazis, stopped a dark evil from spread­ing over India, found the holy grail  and res­cued us from the …aliens… no, no sor­ry that last one didn’t hap­pen. Any­way, this guy was born. Of course I’m speak­ing of none oth­er than the great­est  screen hero of all time, Doc­tor Hen­ry Wal­ton “Indi­ana” Jones Junior.

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Indi­ana was the name of his dog. 

The Indi­ana Jones tril­ogy (Yes, tril­ogy. There was nev­er a fourth movie made and it was all just a ter­ri­ble dream every­one shared simul­ta­ne­ously) is the sin­gle great­est action/adventure fran­chise ever cre­ated. It also con­vinced me I could wield a whip and out run boul­ders. Dis­claimer:  The­se are NOT things You can do.

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Dis­claimer #2: You also will NOT look cool in a fedo­ra.

From the cool fedo­ra, to the sweet leather jack­et, to the man satchel, Indy has it all. Style, grace, fight moves, and big brown eyes. Indy is a man’s man. And he’ adopt­ed small Asian kids before it was cool.

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But what­ever hap­pened to Short Round?

Okay, I’m break­ing down, I can’t do it any­more. As much as I want to pre­tend King­dom of the Crys­tal Skull nev­er hap­pened, it did. We all saw it, we all cried. I know grief is hard, but togeth­er we move past it, get on with our lives, and love the Indy we used to know. But seri­ously, stay away from the Blu-Ray of Crys­tal Skull, I’ve heard rumors that if you watch it with your eyes open, well.…

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There might be side-effects. 

I’ll leave you with this, to help make what I’m sure is a bor­ing Mon­day into an adven­ture. Seri­ously, play it while com­plet­ing any task and tell me you don’t feel just a lit­tle bit more like a hero. Chang­ing the cof­fee. Chang­ing the sta­pler. Chang­ing the Dia­per. All now more hero­ic.

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So, what do you think?