Astrology is very hit or miss with me.  As a Virgo, I am very resentful of being saddled with such a dumb star sign, so don’t get me started on that.  I mean it.

sad kitty

Sad Kitty says: Being a Virgo is the worstest.

Today we’re talking about Scorpios, not Virgos. According to people who know more about these things than you and me, Scorpio is the most volatile and transformative and passionate and [insert 1,000,000 other adjectives here] of the twelve zodiac signs.  In other words, they’re full of themselves.  Take that.

But seriously – apparently being married to a Scorpio is so stressful that there needed to be a day of remembrance to honor these brave men and women who have taken it upon themselves to shack up with a Scorpio.  That day is November 18th, people.

Now, you might be asking yourself, Why do Scorpios suck so much? Well, let me tell you. First, Scorpios insist on doing their own thing at all times.  In marriage, this means they’ll refuse to compromise, regardless of what you’re arguing about.

anne taintor

Spoken like a true Scorpio.

Second, Scorpios place a high value on their independence, which makes them avoid small talk and social settings.  Some people might consider Scorpios to be cold and distant, but they actually have a surprising depth of emotion; they just don’t often choose to share it with you.


I'm a Scorpio: I feel what I feel when I feel it.

And finally, Scorpios are described as being very intense.  They feel a lot of things and you can’t stop it, mmkay?  Their intensity will often lead Scorpios to say strange and awful things on a variety of subjects, so be prepared.


My kitty is quite sassy. I bet he's a Scorpio.

That being said, it seems to me that the safest way to avoid marrying a Scorpio is to ask everyone you meet of average attractiveness whether or not they were born between October 23rd and November 22nd.  If they answer yes, RUN!!!!!!

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So, what do you think?