Fortunately, I am here to tell you all about it.  First and very much foremost, there is such a thing in the world as the American Pie Council.  Yeah.  Just let that sink in for a minute.  Are you imagining the best governing body of any organization in the history of the universe?  Something like the White Council of Deliciousness?  Yes.  You are.

Is there a more beautiful sentence in English than "Pie buffet opens at 11 a.m.?"  I think not. I literally have tears in my eyes right now from the beauty.

Is there a more beautiful sentence in English than "Pie buffet opens at 11 a.m.?" I think not. I literally have tears in my eyes right now from the beauty.

And the American Pie Council holds, every year since 1995, the National Pie Championships!  Yes!  Literally the best competition in the history of the world!  The Trojan War?  Please!  The Summer Olympics?  As if!  The Superbowl?  Don't make me laugh!  National.  Freaking.  Pie.  Championships.  That's basically all you need to know.

If I pray to any higher power it's to the god of pie.

If I pray to any higher power it's to the god of pie.

So the National Pie Championships are on April 10th and 11th in Orlando, FL this year.  If you need me during those days, that's where I'll be.

Because:

'Nuff said.

'Nuff said.

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So, what do you think?