The 85th Annual Academy Awards take place this Sunday, and since you’ve been good,
you get to read my predictions, of who wins, but more importantly who SHOULD win.

BEST PICTURE: Argo. Who should win? Argo. It’s a fantastically built and layered film
that grabs your attention immediately then yanks you to the edge of your seat with one
of the best climaxes in the past ten years (except that night you were really drunk and
hooked up with your best friends sister, but that’s neither here nor there).


BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: Daniel Day-Lewis. Who should win? Jaquin
Phoenix. His performance in The Master is unmatched, and I’m basing this off the trailer.
Daniel Day played a great Lincoln, I guess, but does he need another award? Nah.


BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: Jennifer Lawrence. Who should win? Jennifer
Lawrence. She’s shown the world she’s more than the Hunger Games chick,, not to
mention her shafted no win nomination for Winter’s Bone. She due… And she’s hot. All class.


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Christoph Waltz. Granted Waltz is awesome
as a German bounty hunter/dentist in Django Unchained, it was nice to see Robert De
Niro actually seem to give a shit about a role he’s played in the last ten years. Point is, all
these guys nominated are previous winners who all gave great performances, so maybe
fight to the death? That would be a better choice then James Franco as a host.


Christoph ftw! Seriously, though, a fight to the death would rule.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Anne Hathaway. Who should win? Anne
Hathaway, I guess. She sings, she cries, she sings while crying, plus the other nominees
are kind of meh. Catwoman for the win.


Face of a winner.

BEST ACHEIVMENT IN DIRECTING: David O. Russell. Who should win? Ben
Affleck, who wasn’t even nominated! Argofuck-yourself!

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Zero Dark Thirty. Who should Win? Quentin
Tarantino for Django Unchained. But since the academy tends to hate Tarantino it’s
unlikely he’ll walk home with a Oscar.


BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Silver Linings Playbook. Who should win? Argo?
It’s a tough call. These are my two leading favorites, it’s like Sophie’s Choice,, only
without all the Nazis.

BEST ANIMATED FILM: Brave. Who should win? Wreck-It-Ralph. Pixar has a death
grip on the best animated film category, but this year Brave just didn’t cut it, or should I
say, hit the target (BAM!).


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: Do you really care? We all know you don’t go to
the movies to read.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Life of Pi. Who should win? Skyfall. It’s James Bond and
it looks fucking indredible. Life of Pi was filmed on a green screen. Weak Sauce.


Yeah, this movie was pretty sweet.

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  • I support your analysis of foreign language films. That's what books are for.

So, what do you think?