Mike Kafka is the second-string quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. He was drafted in 2010 out of Northwestern University but did not play that year. In 2011 he went 11-16 with no touchdowns and two interceptions. He shaves his head and has big eyebrows.

Oh, wrong Kafka? Let me try this again.

An accurate photo

Franz Kafka was a first-string surrealist/existentialist for the Austro-Hungarians. He was drafted in 1909 but had a relatively lackluster career, publishing an embarrassingly low percentage of stories  until his untimely death in 1924. However, through death he achieved one of the great hand-offs of the written word, tossing his life's work to Max Brod, literary half-back, who pushed Kafka's novels and stories straight up the gut and ran for 20 yards and all-time fame.

The headless dude is Brod

Pretty much anything you want to know about Franz Kafka is expained in the following two-minute rock opera, noted for it's Kafkaesque animation and incredible wordsmithery:


But in case that's not enough, let me break it down for you: Franz Kafka lived during the twilight of the age of European world domination, when in the industrialized west was overblown in almost every respect. Bureaucracy was as cumbersome and impenetrable as a blind elephant, the private sector was intent on mechanizing their human capital as well as their factories, and the first World War had proven that human life was infinitesimally cheap. Kafka's combination intensely original imagination (The Metamorphosis) and calm despair in the face of gigantic power (The Trail, The Castle) made him an inspiration to both existentialists like Sarte and Camus and the post-modern, fantastics like Garcia Marquez, Borges, and Jose Saramago.

Come buy it, here.

You should read this now.

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