Oh, July, you are the delicious epitome of summer. Hot days, hot dogs, corn on the cob, air conditioning, ice cream, french fries, Independence Day... July makes me nostalgic for those sticky ice pops with the plastic that will cut your lip, the pool, and sunshine. Mmm. Click through to see all of our wonderful reasons to celebrate this month!

July 2015 Events

"I drifted into a summer-nap under the hot shade of July, serenaded by a cicadae lullaby, to drowsy-warm dreams of distant thunder." Terri Guillemets

You had us at gay ice cream.

You had us at gay ice cream.

All of July!

 

 

In the monthly department, we've got a lot!

AC Appreciation Days. The best warm weather invention there is, TBH. Unless you're counting running through a lawn sprinkler.

National Dog House Repairs Month. Fido needs his crib lookin good! And besides, your dog is a real diva, amirite?

National Grilling Month. Shrimp on the barbie, anyone? Or like, chicken. Or beef. Or whatever it is you eat.

National Ice Cream Month. Creamy, delicious ice cream!

National Hot Dog Month. I don't care what's in this thing, it is so delicious.

National Independent Retailers Month. Why, it's a whole month for us! You shouldn't have!

July 1-7

canadaday

Oh Canada, oh Canadaaaaaaaa, these are the only words all Americans know to this song...

Birthdays this week: Indiana Jones (July 1), Franz Kafka (July 3), Robert Heinlein and Dr. Watson (July 7)

Canada Day is July 1,  so you should go around finishing every sentence with, "Eh?"  I Forgot Day and World UFO Day are July 2. YOU FORGOT ABOUT UFOS JUST LIKE THE GOVERNMENT WANTED YOU TO. I forgot day is really about making up for those birthdays and anniversaries you inevitably forgot, because life.

independenceday

Who doesn't need a card for Independence Day?

Independence Day and Independence from Meat Day are both celebrated on July 4. So um, eat a burger or eat someth
ing that resembles a burger but is really just plant matter made to look like a burger. Whatev. America! The land of the free! If you're going to a BBQ, the best thing you can bring is those popsicles that are red white and blue because um delicious patriotism.

Bikini Day is July 5, and bikinis are encouraged all day! Just make sure you aren't angering any business owners with the whole no shirt no shoes service thing. Lame-o's. International Kissing Day and Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day follow on July 6 (kissing your webmaster is likely questionable but hey, it's your life), and the week finishes off strong with Chocolate Day on July 7. Mmm chocolate. Sweet, melty in the heat chocolate.

 

July 8-14

Birthdays this week: E.B. White (July 11), Henry David Thoreau (July 12), Patrick Stewart/Jean-Luc Picard (July 15)

Fries

National French Fries Day is July 13!

Teddy Bears Picnic Day is on July 10, so grab your teddies and your tea set and your blanket and head on out for a picnic! Children recommended but not required for this celebration. Slurpee Day happens on July 11. Turn yo tongue blue! Coke is my personal favorite flavor, though.

On National French Fries Day (July 13) you are permitted to shove glorious handfuls of french fries into your mouth. When International Town Criers Day arrives on July 13, dress in medieval garb and read the news from a scroll. Until people yell at you to stop because oh my god we all have smartphones.

July 15-21

Birthdays this week: Hunter S. Thompson (July 18), Cormac McCarthy (July 20), Ernest Hemingway (July 21)

IMAG1210

We love Hunter S. Thompson!

On St. Swithin's Day (July 15), whatever the weather does will happen for the next 40 days. Allegedly. National Ventriloquism Week runs from July 15-18. So you'll likely see people talking out of the side of their mouth. Just be cool.

National Independent Retailers Week shares the spotlight with National Zookeeper Week from July 19-25. National Ice Cream Day falls on July 19 and we strongly recommend a trip to our neighbors at Jitters, for some infamous Dave and Andy's ice cream. You may or may not see us there fogging up the ice cream case with our desirous mouth breathing. Last but not least this week, National Lollipop Day is July 20. Do banks still hand out lollipops? Someone should figure that out.

June 1-7 (9)

PARISIAN

KU cards make our hearts grow three sizes

Birthdays this week: Daniel Radcliffe (July 23), Alexandre Dumas (July 24), Beatrix Potter (July 28), Neville Longbottom (July 30), Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling (July 31)

Casual Pi Day is July 22, or 22/7. Which is how they do dates in Europe. Try not to get confused. Anyway. When you divide 22/7, you get pi! Cray cray, right?

Rat Catchers Day (July 22) commemorates the famous Pied Piper of Hamelin as well as a day to say “Thank You” to all present day exterminators. And also, this song. 
July 23 is National Hot Dog Day. Hot dogs for every meal!TC Okay. Maybe not breakfast. There are LIMITS PEOPLE. National Tequila Day is the next day (July 24) so definitely yes to tequila at all meals. Stop looking at me like that. Remove your judgment goggles. Merry Go Round Day is July 25! Remember that time Tom Cruise rode the merry go round in Schenley Plaza?

Barbie in a Blender DayWalk on Stilts Day, and our very own Cooking with Kards blog series all fall on July 27. What an absolutely exhilarating day! We would be walking on stilts except we can't, because that sounds hard. Well Barbie, into the Ninja you go, you unrealistically slim devil doll, you!

So, what do you think?