It's just like this, pretty much.  Only less weirdly sexy and more disgusting.

It's just like this, pretty much. Only less weirdly sexy and more disgusting.

I'd ask if it's hot enough out there for you, but my fingers and all of the rest of me melted, so I'm assuming the answer is yes.  July is a great month because barbecues and Independence Day and movies and stuff!  We have all that and much much more are happening at KU this July!  Click READ MORE to find out what's up!

This.  This is what we don't want.

This. This is what we don't want.

Air Conditioning Appreciation Days start July 3rd and will run through mid-August!  Air conditioning might just be the most important accomplishment of mankind.  Like, literally.  Because hot, humid weather is the worst scourge the world has ever produced, including volcanoes, earthquakes, and Rush Limbaugh.  So appreciate your AC this month, and if you don't have AC, come by KU and we'll let you hang with us and cool off!

July is National Dog House Repairs Month!  Dog houses keep our four-legged friends safe from heat, cold, and a variety of other things ranging from bothersome bugs to dangerous weather and other things.  If your dog spends a lot of time outside, make sure it has a strong, safe shelter!

Unsurprisingly, perhaps, July is National Grilling Month!  Even though the whole summer is basically grilling month.  Because cooking stuff outside over an open flame is the best!  Fifty thousand years of cultural development be damned!  And falling neatly in line with NGM is National Hot Dog Month!  Hot dogs are super great grilled, obviously, so break out the buns and the mustard!

You know what goes great with grilled food?  Ice cream.  Or, you know, after grilled food, or whatever.  Hence July also being National Ice Cream Month!  Ice cream is another thing that's great for the whole entire year, but enjoy its delicious frozen-ness especially in the oppressive heat of July!

Best Independent Business anywhere, ever.  Not biased at all.

Best Independent Business anywhere, ever. Not biased at all.

And finally, near and dear to all our hearts here at KU, July is National Independent Retailers Month!  Big businesses and chain stores have their place, of course, especially in the huge global economy, but there's just a certain something (some might call it incredible awesomeness) about a small, independent business!  We'll be rocking out to the beat of our own independent drum all month long, but there's also National Independent Retailers Week, July 20-26!

Important Dates in July:

1 - Canada Day:  This is ≠ 4th of July.  That's pretty much all you need to know.  Canada is its own country, you guys.

2 - I forgot Day AND World UFO Day:  I was going to tell you about this awesome UFO I saw this one time.  But I forgot.  See what I did there?

4 - Independence Day AND Independence from Meat Day:  We can be independent from meat, because this is America and that's what we're about.  But why would we want to be?  It's 4th of July, man!  The biggest barbecue day of the year!  Get out there and get your burger on!

5 - Bikini Day:  The bikini was premiered by French (go figure) engineer (?) Louis Reard on July 5th 1946.  A) That is hella long ago, considering that bikinis are still quite fashionable.  B)  Enjoy bikini day, folks!

Cutest kiss ever or cutest kiss ever?  Yeah, that's what I thought too!

Cutest kiss ever or cutest kiss ever? Yeah, that's what I thought too!

6 - International Kissing Day:  Kisses are the best, you guys.  The kiss is one of the most universal human gestures.  It can convey all kinds of emotions, it's probably the most popular greeting in the Western world, and kisses are generally just lovely.  So make sure you pucker up and celebrate International Kissing Day!  If possible, kiss someone from a foreign country.  Just to be clever.

7 - Chocolate Day:  Generally I don't post about holidays whose origins and point I can't figure out.  The internet is a serious wealth of information, as you know.  That being said, I have no idea why Chocolate Day would be in July, or what the deal with that is.  But I don't care.  Because chocolate is one of the major food groups and it's important to appreciate and ingest chocolate as often and with as much as gusto as possible.  Good day.  Also, related note: did you know some place in California is making fried chicken with chocolate?!  Unreal.

10 - Teddy Bears Picnic Day:  Awww, teddy bears.  Did you know there's a song called Teddy Bears' Picnic?  I totally did not.  The more you know.  But seriously, I love stuffed animals, always have, always will.  Totally want to get a teddy bear or two out of storage and have a picnic.  And well may!

11 - Slurpee Day:  Lol, 'cause it's 7/11, get it?

13 - National French Fries Day:  As with Chocolate Day, I'm not really sure about the origins of French Fries Day, but again as with Chocolate Day, I'm pretty sure I don't care.  Fries are one of the best things the culinary world has ever produced and I urge you to enjoy and appreciate them on this and every single day.  In moderation, of course.

14 - International Town Criers Day:  One more thing from the past that really should have survived to the present.  I mean, there are still town criers, but they are pretty much just for show and crying for crying's sake now.  They aren't like, "Oyez!  Oyez!  (which is what they actually say, btw, and it translates to 'hear ye') Blah blah blah, the Tea Party and Congress and Stuff!"  Which kind of sucks, really, because I'd be much more interested in current events if I could have them shouted at me by a man in a silly costume.  Just sayin'.

15 - St. Swithun's Day:  It's the British Groundhog Day, basically.  There's an old rhyme about how if it rains on St. Swithun's Day, it'll rain for forty more days and if not, it'll be fair for forty more days.  Please cross your fingers for fair weather, since we're getting all the rains as of this writing, as you almost certainly know.

Puppets are the best, you guys.  They are so much fun.

Puppets are the best, you guys. They are so much fun.

16-20 - National Ventriloquism Week:  Full disclosure, I can't really throw my voice at all.  I'm a terrible ventriloquist.  I do, however, love playing with puppets (some of you may remember the wonderful video of Blue-Eyed Goose), and, as luck would have it, we have some fan-freaking-tastic puppets in the store right now!  Some what I'm trying to say is that if you want to practice your ventriloquism (and/or play with puppets with me), come down to KU this week!  We will puppet like it's 1899!

20-26 - National Zookeeper Week:  Man, I wanted to be a zookeeper so hard when I was a kid.  Exotic animals are my fave.  But I realized as I grew up that what I really wanted out of life was to have exotic animals to play with at my house.  And then I realized that was kind of stupid, cruel, and just generally a bad plan.  But I still love zoos and zookeepers.

20 - National Lollipop Day AND National Ice Cream Day:  So can you say 'best day ever?'  Guys.  Ice cream is literally the best thing man has ever created.  It deserves its own decade, not day.

22 - Casual Pi Day AND Rat Catchers Day:  Seriously, guys.  Be nice to your Rat Catchers.  Or they'll steal your children.  Also Casual Pi Day!  Because, like, 22/7 is a 'casual' estimation of pi, and 22/7 is how some people would write July 22nd.

23 - National Hot Dog Day:  Sure, hot dogs are not really what comes to mind when you think great food.  But they are great summer food, and there are some awesome hot dogs in this great new cookbook we have, Haute Dogs.  (Lol, seriously, guys.  Haute Dogs.  Genius.)

24 - National Tequila Day:  Goes great with hot dogs!  Just sayin'.  Also margaritas.  Yum.

25 - Merry Go Round Day:  Merry Go Rounds are pretty sweet, you guys.  Where else are you ever going to get to ride a tiger?!  Nowhere, that's where.

27 - Barbie in a Blender Day AND Walk on Stilts Day:  I kinda think it's a little weird and psychopathic to put Barbies in blenders.  But that's just me.  Go crazy, throw Ken in there too.  But yeah, stilts!  They're so awesome!  Being tall is the best.


Patriotic cupcake ftw!

July Birthdays!

1 - Indiana Jones
3 - Franz Kafka
7 - Robert Heinlein AND Dr. Watson
11 - E.B. White
12 - Henry David Thoreau
13 - Patrick Stewart/Jean-Luc Picard
18 - Hunter S. Thompson
20 - Cormac McCarthy
21 - Ernest Hemingway
23 - Daniel Radcliffe
24 - Alexandre Dumas
28 - Beatrix Potter
30 - Neville Longbottom
31 - Harry Potter/JK Rowling

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So, what do you think?