"The cutest thing ever...From Roy...A giant teddy bear. Bigger than you. [opens tiny box to reveal miniature teddy bear] Sounds. great...No, no; it really does sound great. Listen, Beth, I gotta go; the Christmas tree's on fire." Guess what this is from without looking it up and I'll go on a date with you and put my mouth on your mouth.

DON'T LET THIS BE YOU!!
Keep Calm.
It's the always annual Kards Unlimited
Valentine's Day
Gift List
!!!

Read this blog! Get ideas. Buy things. Give them. Get some. Good.

Also, if you plan on being single or flying solo you should STILL plan on having a good Valentine's Day. Take your happiness into your own hands. If you catch our drift. Get it?

Sexiness is next to cleanliness as the age old saying goes and rub-a-dub-dub there's a lot more than cleaning that you can do in the tub.

Get to your Valentine's heart by telling them they should take a sexy bubble bath. But be careful not to invite yourself too presumptiously.  Also be careful not to act like you want them to do it by themselves. Be boldly subtle...figure it out.

Whether you're getting it as a gift to be used together or just to help your sweet heart relieve some stress these make the perfect VDay gift. I have a headache will never be a viable excuse again.

Looking for a way to stay hot on Valentine's Day? Why not turn your tub into a cherry scented sexy time grotto! Put in one of these Bath Fizzy's and prepare yourself for a very seductive soak.

That's right, your favorite witty soaps are back with a vengeance just in time for Valentine's Day! Perfect for those flying solo, friends, recently single, people needing a laugh and older women hunting young men.

Steamy Book Nook, aka Non-Conventional Love Stories.

Looking to curl up on Valentine's Day with a love story that doesn't involve Fabio or your typical boy-girl let's fall in love in Victorian England, New York City or Paris plot? Then grab some of these non-conventional love stories that simultaneously enthrall and make you wish you had to choose between your dreamy hunting buddy and your ever sweet partner in a fight to the death. So romantic!

And remember what they say: Dystopian futures are the new vampires!

Example: The Hunger Games. I'm obsessed.

So maybe dystopian angsty love filled futures aren't your thing. Maybe you like your lit a little more lecherous, or not lit-like at all.

These are for you!

You know what they say, the couple the reads pornographic pop up books together, stays together! So why not spice up your Valentine's Day reading list? It could do you some good. Also good present for single folk. You know what I mean.

Two collections of sexy time-wasters for those moments spent recovering between sessions. Because whats better than using your brain and your junk or lady bits at the same time?

Oh how frequently these two go together. Two peas in a drunken naked mistake pod.

An aphrodisiac cookbook. Why wait until after dinner this Valentine's Day to get hot and heavy? The economy is still no good. Eat out without spending a dime.

GIRL IMMA GETCHA.
It's massage oil time.

We've all wanted to recreate the hot candle scene from Ricky Martin's Livin La Vida Locavideo. Now you can and it can smell rull good and be good for your skin and your sex life!

Kama Sutra gives you every type of massage oil, lotion, etc that you could ever need in every scent and flavor that you didn't even know you wanted. But really come in and check out these massage oil candles. Come light them up and get turned on.

ROM COM Gifts!
Because comedy and love should always go together. Like wam-a-lama something something.

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if a glory hole and a story book about your penis had a love child? Well wonder no more, because Penis Pokey has arrived and your penis is the star! Provide some phallic comedy this V-Day! But remember to keep it clean after with our I <3 My Penis hand sani -or wait- was that slutty?

What do you give the person who has everything for Valentine's Day? An adorable vintage looking printed tin full of condoms?  A place to store their drugs?  Art supplies? YES.

Cards cards cards! aka Valentines Valentines Valentines!

So we sell cards at Kards. The perfect Valentine's Day card is a MUST if you want to succeed.
So we're devoting another whole blog post to JUST CARDS!

TUNE IN FOR A SPECIAL WEEKEND BLOG! That's right. Weekend blog. Blowing your mind.

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So, what do you think?