A cool breeze on your bare upper thighs, the tin­gling sen­sa­tion of free­dom, the hard stare of a stranger’s eye, it must be No Pants Day! May 3rd is National No Pants Day, or if you’re any­thing like me, it’s the week­end and every­day after 7:00 pm.

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My crest. My creed.

I am a firm believer that pants are over­rated. Unfor­tu­nately, soci­ety does not share these beliefs. Luck­ily, there are enough of my non-trouser wear­ing brethren that we’ve man­aged to take giant step for­ward with No Pants Day, to rid the world of the pants men­ace. I’ve been giv­ing the term “fire-crotch” a whole new mean­ing since 1999.

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Hail Me, Destroyer of Pants!

The entire point of No Pants Day is to wear a nor­mal out­fit, sim­ply with­out pants, as if the par­tic­i­pant sim­ply for­got to put them on, and to look ridicu­lous in the process. Pro­mot­ers state that the hol­i­day is about not tak­ing one­self seri­ously. The hol­i­day is an exam­ple of sur­real humor, which relies on an absurd sit­u­a­tion (in this case, crowds of peo­ple walk­ing around wear­ing no pants). What’s not to love?

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Noth­ing to see here…

no pnats

or here.…

Annual "No Pants" Subway Ride Takes Place On NYC's Subways

or… no, wait, that is some­thing to see…

 Unbuckle that belt, loosen the string, zip down that fly, unbut­ton the but­ton, do a bum shake, and let those pants fall to the floor.

Show off the goods. And remem­ber, when in doubt…

no pants

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So, what do you think?