Avast, me hearties! It be National Talk Like a Pirate Day, shiver me timbers!

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Arrrrggghhhh

Why do we need a holiday dedicated to talking like a pirate? Make no mistake. We do. But it's a little hard to articulate why, especially when you've made the mistake of referring to your wife as a scurvy bilge rat and tried to order her back into the galley. Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. Silliness is the holiday's selling point.

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Pirate Humor.

Okay, so let's tackle some basic Pirate talk so as to be enjoyin' this here holiday.

Ahoy! - "Hello!"

Avast! - Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, "Whoa! Get a load of that!" which today makes it more of a "Check it out" or "No way!" or "Get off!"

Aye! - "Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did."

Aye aye! - "I'll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over."

Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that television show, it sucked!" and"That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

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Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

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Now you are prepared for Talk Like a Pirate day, so grab some grog, down the hatch, grab a matey, and get to it. And remember...

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Raise the Jolly Roger!

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So, what do you think?