We're big supporters of Mr. William Shakespeare and his work at Kards Unlimited, so naturally we're celebrating Talk Like Shakespeare Day on April 23rd!


Fact: Bitches love sonnets.

Draw thy attention here, for I shall quicken thy language, undergoing the top ten how to: speak like Willy Shakes.

1. Instead of you, say thou or thee (and instead of yinz, say yenz)

2 Rhymed couplets are all the rage.

3. Men are call sirrah, ladies are mistress, and your friends are called cousins.

4. Instead of cursing, try calling your tormentors jackanapes, or canker-blossoms, or  poisonous bunch-back'd toads.

5. Don't waste time with "it", just use the letter "t" ('tis, t'will, I'll do't).

6. Verse for lovers, pros for ruffians, songs  for clowns.

7. When in doubt, add the letters eth to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).

8. To add weight to opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth, or wherefore. 

9. When wooing girls, try comparing them to summer days. If that fails, say "Get thee to a nunnery!".

10. When wooing lads, try dressing up like a man. If that fails, throw him in the tower, banish his friends, and claim the thrown!

You do these ten simple things and you'll be sitting pretty and speaking cool.


Whom be coolereth than I?

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So, what do you think?