12 Aug

Vinyl Record Day!

tumblr_nagb1xxBpP1rqb2tko1_500Some­times peo­ple call the store and ask if we sell records. We don’t, which is sad. (Although we do sell the­se real­ly awe­some bowls made from old records. Only the un-playable ones, clear­ly.) I’m not entire­ly sure why some peo­ple think that we sell records, but I’m just going to assume it’s because Vinyl is awe­some and we sell awe­some things.

A few of my favorite albums of all time are only avail­able on Vinyl. Yeah, they’re old. And not well-enough known for some­one to have ripped them from record and post­ed online for the world to have at their fin­ger­tips. I guess, I could do that myself, but why would I when I could just throw on a record and sit back and lis­ten to that pop hiss beau­ty.

If you stop in your local Bar­nes and Nobles, it’s pret­ty appar­ent that some­one is try­ing to bring records back. You can now get your favorite new hot album in vinyl for­mat, right off the press­es. And they all come with MP3 down­load codes so that you can list­ed to the album on your iPod when you don’t have time to sit down and soak in the sounds from your record play­er.

Even though records are com­ing back (ish?) there are a lot of peo­ple who get all excit­ed by my record col­lec­tion but then don’t know how to inter­act with them. I mean, if I had a dol­lar for every time some­one put their fin­gers right on one of my records or tried to stack them flat, I would still not have enough mon­ey to pay for the heart attacks that the­se inci­dents cause.

So, in hon­or of Vinyl Record Day, here are some handy Do’s and Don’t’s!

  • Do lis­ten to records often. And make sure you’re sit­ting still and pay­ing atten­tion and let­ting that heav­en­ly music stream all the way through your body like a good high.
  • Don’t put your greasy fin­gers on them, I don’t care if you JUST washed your hands. Records are del­i­cate and won­der­ful things, and you know how if you touch your face, you get acne? Well if you touch a record, you give it acne and then it skips inces­sant­ly.
  • Do show off your records to your friends. Because they need to be indoc­tri­nat­ed into the won­der of vinyl. One Of Us.
  • Don’t sit on them. I did that once when I was very small. My moth­er has still not for­given me. Nor has she thrown the pieces away.
  • Do turn the vol­ume ALL the way up. Your neigh­bors can deal. Records are pret­ty short com­pared to ‘shuf­fle all’, so it’s not like it’s going to be noisy forever!
  • Don’t just leave your favorite record on the play­er all the time because don’t you know what dust is? Dust is the thing that makes your record into just a weird flat disk that you can only use to srve pas­ta on, but not even that because there’s a hole in the mid­dle.
  • Do stack your records stand­ing up. Flat records are sad records. I mean, you wouldn’t stack cup­cakes direct­ly on top of each oth­er, would you? Records are like cup­cakes.
  • Don’t just drop that record back into the sleeve. OMG are you seri­ous. You do that one too many times, and BAM, the sleeve splits, the record hits the hard ground edge first and breaks into a mil­lion pieces like Cinderella’s poor pump­kin when those idiot horse rid­ers sav­age­ly stam­ped­ed it. Don’t be an idiot horse rid­er per­son. Slide it in gen­tly while flat.
  • Do treat own­ing records like own­ing Poke­mon. GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL.


So, what do you think?