And it's Not About Food This Time.


Some people like to dip their eggs in their maple syrup at breakfast.
Some people like to salt their apples.
Some people like to watch tv on mute with the closed captioning on.
Some people brush their teeth 8 times a day.
Some people need their socks and their underwear to match.
Some people dont like to wear underwear.
Some people get their jollies from freaky, freaky things.


Today is for you my freaky, freaky friends! Tis International fetish day!
So when we think of fetish we think of strange things that people dig sexually whether it be with someone else or by ourselves (we'll get to it being self love month a little later on....) usually with something typically not inherently sexual (but what is inherently sexual??)


Let me hit you with the actual definitions of fetish:
a : an object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner; broadly :a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence.
b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

2 : a rite or cult of fetish worshipers

3 : fixation


Now urbandictionary:

1: A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object. EX. socks, horses, monkeys, pain, bondage.

Holy sh*t those socks really get me turned on because of this sock fetish of mine. *Rubs socks on body*
2: (The good one) A sexual fixation(s) that usually differs from those of the standard population.
In other words, something (sometimes totally unrelated to sex) that turns you on and that isn't enjoyed by the majority of people.
Foot fetishes, Infantilism, Vore, Macro, Furry, Vampirism, Necro, Bondage, Sadism, Masochism, Slavery... The sky's the limit.


SO today rather than talking about some of my favorite fetishes Im going to talk about my personal feelings about fetishes mostly because if I talked about fetishes I don't think I would be allowed to post this. This is a family blog you know. I think that everyone has them. Yes, even you missionary man (take that in as many ways as you can) (ha) (see what I did there) (in like-three different ways)(ha, three different ways) (parentheses are fun). There are a few different ways fetishes get played out. In the same way that port cities made it so the gays could find each other back in the day, the interwebs is the new port city. Say you're really into Styrofoam. Or butter. Or gym shorts. Or classical music. Or feet. Or dressing up like a drag queen gummy bear. Or aqua erotics. Or trains. Or deciduous trees. Or wax. Instead of just praying that someday you meet someone who will whip out that Styrofoam mattress you can google it! Or find someone on craigslist who might not be into it but is into you being into it!

There are even conventions now for people like furries! Thank you, PGH. But the moral is that these people probably found each other on the internet. And now its a thing!

So, there are the people who have fetishes that they find their fellow freak-a-leaks on the internet.


There are fetishes that people live with and never talk about but partake in when they're indulging in some self love. HAPPY SELF LOVE MONTH! Celebrate as frequently as possible! I know I have been.


There are people who marry that special someone because their fetishes match.


Then there fetishes that people repress and become harmful to society. I won't be getting into this because it's a happy blog. I also wont be discussing things that border on fetish but are also punishable by law that should not be indulged in. Just don't do it.


Then there are the fetishes that people pay people to partake in with them because they are too ashamed to look on the interwebs for other people into it and would rather have hooker-client confidentiality in place.


Yes, hooker-client confidentiality is real.

These are the types of fetishes I love.


Way back I read a memoir called I am Not Myself These Days. It made me want to become a hooker who specializes in crazy fetishes because most of these fetishes dont involve know...doing that thing that people associate with that line of work.


There were stories of CEOs hiring escorts to lock them in closets and verbally abuse them for days at a time starving them and feeding them drugs and getting RIDIC money to do it.
I can do that! I can feed someone drugs and verbally abuse them! Its just like college!
Just kidding. Maybe.

I feel like I would be pretty great at fetishes involving food. Or just people watching me eat. As long as I only had to eat vegetarian delights and dessert.


Or stalking. I could partake in some light or heavy stalking. I was the first to come of age in the facebook generation. We are taught to stalk. How hard can it be do transfer that to real life?

ps HAPPY STALKING MONTH! Enjoy! And if you dont I'll know....

So kids enjoy international fetish day. Go out this weekend and find yourself some lovin that gets your goat. But please don't get a goat.
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So, what do you think?