Ladies, your ovaries should not look like this. You're not that kind of flower.

Seriously, apparently the summer squash that I always figured was a vegetable is an "immature fruit, being the swollen ovary of the zucchini flower," according to the divine arbiter Wikipedia.

In any case, this fun science fact is brought to you by the random googling involved with my discovery that today is "Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night." Zucchini is a famously over-productive plant, and this particular holiday was developed by someone -- some poor soul -- who had simply too much of it. Rather than continue to force the zealous produce upon friends and neighbors in person, this brave horticulturalist decided that her (or his, we're not biased here at KU) final option was to simply leave zucchini sprinkled about the neighborhood, where the general population would be forced to clean up their fair share, the unhelpful twits.

While that story does make a lot of sense, when I first heard of this fauxliday I had totally forgotten the hilarious proportions of zucchini -- which I really only learned thanks to the Fox Trot daily comic strip, remember that? So what could possibly be the purpose of something called "Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night?" None, of course.

And that's perfect.

We live in a world that is all at once terrifying, depressing, overbearing, and boring. What could be better than to wake up one day, step out into the mildly smoggy, overly warm morning, and see a flower's swollen ovary sitting on your stoop? I charge you all to participate in this wonderful day not because you have too many zucchini but because all of our lives could use a little more harmless strangeness. It'll help keep us sane.

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So, what do you think?