1 Dec
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: December!

DOOMSDAY! It gets you out of so many obligations! This time it's real! But don't let that stop you from celebrating all month long in December. This month is dominated by some very famous holidays, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of things to celebrate! Click READ MORE to begin your voyage of discovery! Read more >>

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28 Nov
2012

The Ladies of Kards Unlimited
2013 Calendar!

Do you love scantily-clad ladies? Do you love bizarre and unique holidays and birthdays? Hey! Us too! So we created a 2013 calendar and filled it up with all of our special holidays and pinup-style photos of our lovely employees! As an added bonus, we are offering 10% off your entire purchase when you buy the calendar if you "like" the post on our facebook page! It couldn't be easier, and the calendar is totally awesome and obviously only available from Kards Unlimited.

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31 Oct
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: November!

Seems like every year at about this time we start to talk about November: One of my favorite months of the year. Or...Top 12 at least. Obviously, this month is all about the greatest holiday of all time: Thanksgiving!!! But there are plenty of other fun ways to fill your time in November. Click READ MORE to find out all about them!

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28 Sep
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: October!

Oh yeah. October is the best. 31 days of eating pies, drinking cider, and shuffling through leaves when I walk around town. If that isn't enough for you, October is also jam-packed with holidays and birthdays of varying degrees of realness. Everything from Pierogi Day to Hallowen, and everything in between. Click READ MORE to...you know....read more.
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1 Sep
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: September!

Say, do you remember dancing in September? I sure do. Every year without fail. This is probably the second most exciting month at Kards Unlimited, and if you don't know why, then let me educate you after the jump.

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31 Jul
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: August

August is a great month. I still get really excited for back to school time. I am still convinced I am going to be filling up my pencil case with freshly sharpened pencils and that I have to go try on some new shoes. It's also probably the laziest month of the year. It's far too hot out to do anything other than sit around (watching Olympics!) and sweat into your couch eating ice pops and drinking cold beer a little too early in the day. Just because it's a lazy month doesn't mean that nothing happens. There is plenty to celebrate in August, and I'm going to tell you all about it after the jump!
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1 Jul
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events : July!

July is upon us. You can tell because it's crazy "hot in here". July has many appropriate holidays that celebrate exactly just how "hot in here" it really is, and all the assorted things you eat when it is so hot in here. July is Grilling Month AND Ice Cream Month AND Hot Dog Month. The ultimate trifecta. But let's not kid ourselves. July is all about the stars and stripes. The good ol' U.S.A. Just look at that eagle staring you down! With that in mind, let's see what we are up to this month:

July 1st: Canada Day!

OH NO YOU DIDN'T, CANADA. Looks like they beat us to the punch. Our neighbors to the north slipped this one in a mere three days before our big celebration. If they waited a few days we could have gone dubs on everything, which would have been so much fun! Like two countries holding hands! Alas.

July 2nd: World U.F.O. Day!

I watched the X-Files like cray when I was a kid, so I am a huge fan of this holiday. On this day, everybody across the planet unites in an effort to spot a U.F.O. The gist is that if everybody is watching everywhere at least for one day, and aliens decide to fly around on that day, then we will spot one for sure. Come on people! The evidence is overwhelming! Plus, this seems like an awesome drinking holiday.

July 4th: Independence Day!

USA! USA! USA! This is the day we all came together as one to declare we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day! And Will Smith was there. Weird how it's so close to U.F.O Day, though.

July 5th: Bikini Day!

In 1946 western Europe was celebrating the first war-free summer in years, and a French designer named Louis Reard unveiled the bikini on July 5th to celebrate. He named it after the famous atom bomb test that took place at Bikini Atoll a week earlier. Talk about dropping a bomb! The swimwear was banned from beaches along the Mediterranean, but it was such a huge hit, especially among men, that the ban was eventually lifted.

July 6th: International Kissing Day!

You can go kiss crazy on this day. We all know that kissing is awesome, and we could all use the practice. This is the day to celebrate kissing for kissing's sake, not as a formality or a prelude to "other things."

July 9th: Town Crier Day!

Here Ye! Here Ye! Before Gutenberg and mass-printed material, before newspapers, before Facebook and Twitter, people got their news from people who rang bells and shouted things in the street. It's fun to imagine what town criers would be like now. "LOL. Come look at this funny picture of a cat!"

July 10th: Teddy Bear Picnic Day!

Grab your favorite teddy bear and have a picnic today! Just the two of you! Sounds like a really fun, happy holiday, but when you see it actually happen it will make you sad. Teddy bears don't actually eat anything anyway.

July 15th: Saint Swithun's Day!

  • St Swithun's day if thou dost rain
  • For forty days it will remain
  • St Swithun's day if thou be fair
  • For forty days 'twill rain nae mare

Personally I prefer my magical, weather-predicting holidays with fur and buck teeth, but this seems to fit Great Britain's shtick better.

July 27th: Barbie in a Blender Day!

You would think this is a holiday about smashing female stereotypes that are forced on girls. However, it's actually a celebration of the victory of an artist over Mattel in court. I think the gist is that you throw Barbie dolls into blenders.

July Birthdays:

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31 May
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: June!

June is one of those months that people just look forward to all year. It's sunny and I have my BBQ BLAZIN' pretty much every day. The holidays for June reflect this laid-back enthusiasm.

Firstly, June is National Iced Tea Month, and I wonder why? Nothing cools you off faster on a hot day than a tall glass of iced tea. The taller the better, that's what I always say. Here at KU we drink Manute Bol-sized glasses of iced tea by the dozen all summer long, but we go especially nuts during June, because you know...holiday. I suggest you do the same. We have crazy amounts of delicious tea here at Kards Unlimited, so stop in a let us get you outfitted for some iced tea adventures!

June 1st-2nd: Heimlich Maneuver Day!

This is a day to celebrate the Heimlich Maneuver. If you haven't received the extensive emergency medical training that I have, the gist is when someone is choking you maneuver behind them, get a good grip, and thrust furiously.

The good stuff

June 2nd: Pencil Day!

I used to be a big pen user. I almost never used pencils, but I have seen the light. Pencils are freakin' awesome. If you are a pen user you should give pencils a shot today. Make sure you are using a premium pencil, though. Those half-plastic, cheap, crappy pencils just don't cut it. I suggest a Dixon Ticonderoga...or any Dixon pencil, really. I prefer a hexagonal, cedar, yellow body, with a HB #2 lead, and I use a long-point pencil sharpener. Seriously...try it. You well never go back to the dark side. Plus, nobody can make you join the "Pen15" club. "Pencil15" just doesn't have the same "zing" for those jokers.

June 7th-10th: Superman Week!

Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, idiot, it's Superman Week. Who doesn't love Superman? Well, besides villains and evil-doers... At Kards Unlimited we think he's, you know...super. If you want to read another hilarious article by someone with too much time on their hands, check out this article about what would happen if Superman actually slept with Lois Lane.

June 15th: National Flip-Flop Day!

I refuse to celebrate this holiday, because flip-flops are lazy. The only good use for a flip-flop is avoiding athlete's foot in the dorm shower, and even then I would rather just deal with the athlete's foot, or wear regular shoes in the shower. But we should be seeing lots of action from Mitt Romney on this day. Get it? Flip-flop? OOOOO Timely-political-joke burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrned!

June 16th: Bloomsday!

The snootiest holiday of the year! Also known as "I Am Better Than You Day". This is a holiday where people talk about a book that they haven't read, James Joyce's Ulysses, which is set on June 16th.

June 17th: Fathers' Day!

Finally! A real holiday! Compared to Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day is a breeze. Find a funny card, maybe one that talks about "farts", get some hilarious gifts about drinking, and you're done! Dad's are easy that way.

Nobody knew who they were, or what they were doing.

June 20th: Summer Solstice!

This is the longest day of the year, at least for us here in the north (Winter is Coming). We celebrate by doing nothing. Unless you are a druid, in which case it's the greatest holiday of the year! Also, congratulations on the whole druid thing.

June 21st: Go Skateboarding Day!

For those who skate, this holiday is pretty self-explanatory. For those who don't, use this holiday as a chance to say "radical" and pretend you are awesome enough to actually go skateboarding. I will be doing the latter.

June 22nd: Take Your Dog to Work Day!

Most dogs are pretty lazy. Many dogs are incredibly hard-working, but there are few enough of these that we call them "working dogs". My dog hasn't worked a day in his life. I would bring him to work, but if my dog "did his business" here my boss would get a frowny face.

June 24th: International Fairy Day!

Anyone who thinks fairies aren't awesome just isn't paying attention. They are like tiny, sexy, magical bugs! There is such a large variety to choose from! Also there is the added bonus that they are TOTALLY REAL and I want to live on a mushroom with one.

 

June Birthdays:

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