1 May
2012

Kards Unlimited Calendar of Events: May!

It's that time of the month again. You guessed it! Time to learn all about

THE MERRY MONTH OF MAY!

May is one of my favorite months, because it is just jam-packed with some of the best holidays of the year, so let's jump right in.

 

May is Get Caught Reading Month. I'm not sure why you "get caught" reading…Maybe because you are embarrassed by what you are reading. Seeing as how "Fifty Shades of Grey" is so "hot" right now, I think this is a timely holiday. For more reasons than one, because May is also National Masturbation Month! So when you do get caught, you know…reading…you can use your book to hide your shame.

 

Heeeeey Macarena!

May 1st: May Day May Day!

This is one of the most prominent pre-Christian holidays. It just feels like the sort of holiday hobbits celebrate. Although I think I have seen "The Wicker Man" far too many times for this holiday not to creep me out. I see people dressed up like druids, dancing around the Maypole, and I feel certain that the next thing I know I will get stuffed into a large wooden statue filled with farm animals and burned alive…to death.

 

May 1st: Batman Day.

We are always all over Batman Day. We sell a ton of awesome Batman comics, as well as fun Batman products. Since Pittsburgh is the new Gotham City, we are extra excited this year!

 

May 4th: Intergalactic Star Wars Day!!!

May the Fourth be with you. This is both an awesome play on words and a celebration of my favorite movie of all time. I will probably spend the day swinging my sweet lightsaber around and practicing my Twi'lek dialects. Then probably hit the Mos Eisley Cantina to have a frothy, smoking, blue milk-like beverage and get my arm chopped off. I hear it's taco night!

 

Did I mention frosty?

May 5th: Derby Day.

In case you have been living under a rock, Derby Day is when they run the Kentucky Derby. Which means you get all gussied up in spring clothing with either a large fancy hat, or a jaunty hat (for the gentlemen!), and drink delicious frosty mint juleps out of frosty silver cups while you watch some of the most expensive and well-trained animals in the world compete in the first leg of the Triple Crown. It's sort of like the Royal Wedding, but you get to do it every year.

 

May 5th: Cinco de Mayo.

This holiday is on the cinco of Mayo every year. This is not Mexican Independence Day (which is September 16th) but it still commemorates a major step on the way to independence. A good way to think about this holiday is as the Mexican St. Patrick's Day. This means that here in the Estados Unidos, we celebrate the same way we celebrate almost every holiday: By drinking.

May 7-13th: Children's Book Week.

Time to celebrate the magical books from your childhood. There are so many good ones that we need a week to celebrate this. Children's books are our introduction to reading, as well as the fact that there is a world that exists beyond what we can see. We certainly have the best selection of children's book in town, and we are always eager to talk about them. You are never too old for children's books, so stop in and pick up an old classic, or try something new!

 

May 12th: Limerick Day.

On this day we celebrate the birthday of Edward Lear, who popularized the limerick in his Book of Nonsense. This is a five-line poem in AABBA structure, supposedly invented in the Irish town of Limerick, which was also once known as "STAB CITY." Sounds like a charming little town! Being from Stab City, limericks are best when they are crude and vulgar:

Joy, I said. Jump for it.

  • The limerick packs laughs anatomical
  •  In space that is quite economical,
  •  But the good ones I've seen
  •  So seldom are clean,
  •  And the clean ones so seldom are comical.


You're doing it wrong.

May 13th: Mother's Day!!!

This is the big one. The one day a year where you show your mom some respect for giving up her entire life for you. So I think the very least you can do it get her a card, or which we have approximately one jillion. If you want my advice, you may want to get a step above and buy her a ton of actual gifts, of which we have approximately one jillion, and then take her out for a nice brunch (with champagne!).

 

 

May 14th-20th: American Craft Beer Week.

I celebrate this all the time. Its sort of like having National Breathing Oxygen Week, but that doesn't mean we should take it for granted. You should use this week to support your local brewery. Honestly people, its not that hard. Just drink beer! I'm getting a head start on this right now!

 

May 16th: National Sea Monkey Day.

Sea Monkeys are the easiest pet of all time. They are just tiny little brine shrimp in a packet. You just add water and BOOM! Instant pets. Sea Monkeys are one of the few animals that have been to outer space.

 

May 18th: National Pizza Party Day.

This should be a mandatory national holiday. Buildings and offices should be closed. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is more important than a pizza party. Plus, this falls right in the middle of Craft Beer Week, so: Party. Bonus.

Check.

May 25th: Towel Day.

  • "Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

In Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you should know where your towel is at all times. It is the most useful thing a hitchhiker can have. This is good advice. Carry a towel around all day to show your appreciation for Douglas Adams and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

 

May Birthdays:

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15 Mar
2012

St. Pats: What You Need For Culturally Acceptable Day Drinking Day!

Sit down folks and let this lady leprechaun tell ye a story of the world and of magical days and then maybe if you're lucky - marshmallows.

March 17 marks the only day where everyone- no matter what their age, color, creed, or anything else that makes people different, come together.  For one day, one universal set of beliefs unite everyone in merriment and celebration . That day, my little friends, is St. Patrick's Day. When everyone is Irish, especially if you aren't! The day we celebrate St. Patrick...and uh...Irish things. Parades. Dying things green. And eating and drinking to excess. And did I mention everything green? And drinking? I said drinking already?

St. Patrick's Day has become synonymous with dying rivers green, kiss me I'm Irish, green beer, drunk texting, Shamrock Shakes, and day drinking in a way that is typically reserved for the unemployed, people who are Irish year round, and alcoholics (redundant)- but today is deemed completely acceptable for everyone! Festive, even!

We at KU understand how important this (unofficial) holiday is to all of you and want you to be prepared per usual! Here is a list of everything you're going to need to survive!

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HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Drink responsibly.

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1 Mar
2012

March into March. The Best Month of the Year. But Really.

It's been windy as a MOTHER this week which makes me think that the beginning of the
BEST MONTH OF THE YEAR
is going to be in like a lion, which according to everyone means out like a lamb!

This is one of the scariest things I've ever seen. I'm not even on mescaline right now.

In case your time space continuum is off and you are oblivious to where you are, the best month of the year is MARCH! March is fantastic for many reasons. One reason is that the March Equinox occurs which means this is the beginning of the rebirth of the year! Even if you aren't a crazy hippy you know you like spring. Even you people who hate the warmth and the sun still enjoy March. It is the IDEAL month.

Another reason March is better than EVERY other month: I was born a quarter of a century ago. You're welcome.

Every other cool person in the world was born in March. Except for Anita Bryant. She was an accident and shouldn't be counted as human. We are even getting a new half-Canadian member of the KU family in March which is super exciting.

Women's History Month or should I say HERstory is in March. Some basketball stuff happens or something. It's just an all around good month!

It's Berries And Cherries Month! Now that spring is...springing? That means all of our favorite fruits are coming back to us. Maybe you canned something that you want to bust out? Maybe you want to make an adorable hand held pie? Put some in your maple syrup and get it hot? A cake full of berries and cherries? Whatever you choose to do with them I will want some.

It's International Ideas Month! I will add more to this once it's actually March and I have more ideas about it....

National Caffeine Awareness Month!
Okay- so most Amurricans partake in the java whether it be iced, hot, latte or enema form. We are also known for our over indulgence in the soda department as well as the energy drink department. We even like to mix our uppers and our downers for shiz and giggles! It's kind of who we are.

But this month is when we should become awaren of it! It doesn't matter how old you are caffeine dependence is a problem. I saw this recently and I can't stop watching it. Im not sure if it will make you want to go out and make your own "Go Go Juice" or if it will make you quit caffeine cold turkey OR if you will just pee yourself while you're not sure if you're laughing or crying but please watch it!

So my little honey boo boo childs (yes childs, not children) It is also:
EMPLOYEE SPIRIT MONTH!!!!

Since we are your favorite neighborhood kard shop employees AND we love our jobs we will be flashing all of you our spirit all month long and GEE GOLLY is our spirit big! Stay tuned for employee spirit month activities!

National Procrastination Week is the 4-10...it was originally scheduled for some week in February but....we're only just getting around to it now.

Speaking of cats, March 3 is the holiday we muse about all year long:
What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day!

When evolution finally makes this happen and cats finally take over the earth, as they have to other planets in other galaxies, I'm hoping that they spare me and my family since we have been bending to their will since 1987. But everyone else who doesn't know this will be happening can just think about all the what-ifs!

March 7 is Cereal Day.

Those who read this blog know that I like food. I might even love it. I might even talk about it in pornographic detail at times. Despite my love of fancy food pairings, cook books and well planned meals I think that cereal is one of the best things the human race has to offer and I will explain this is GRAPHIC detail at a later date.

We of course will be celebrating St. Patrick's Day full throttle.

Whether you're Irish, or you just like to adopt their age old drinking habit for the day, we want to help you! But not in an AA help kind of way. More in a "it's okay just have one more drink, it's good for you" kind of way. ENABLING!  It's what's for dinner!

Tune in a little bit later to find out how we will be meeting your St. Patty's Day needs!

Mr. Fred Rogers would be turning 84 this year! Everyone loves Mr. Rogers and his neighborhood but so few actually get to be his neighbor for realz! We in "da 'burgh" get that pleasure and we will be celebrating his birthday as well as Sweater Day! I have enough Mr. Rogers-like sweaters to go around and we have lots of Mr. Rogers swag to help yinz get into the spirit.

Some Birthdays we have cool links for!!!
(not just mine)

Ron Howard: 1st
Ke$ha: 1st
Justin Bieber: 1st
Dr. Seuss: 2nd
John Irving: 2nd
Gabriel Garcia Marquez: 6th
Chuck Norris: 10th
John Hamm: 10th
Douglas Adams: 11th
Edward Albee: 12th
William H Macy: 13th
Albert Einstein: 14th
Fabio: 15th
Kevin Smith: 16th
Mr. Rogers: 20th
Lois Lowry: 20th
Alyson Hannigan: 24th
Leonard Nimoy: 26th
 Lady Gaga: 28th
Christopher Walken: 31st

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31 Jan
2012

February: The Shortest Month With the Biggest Personality

February.
pronounced:  feb-yoo-er-ee.

This month is a wily one let me tell you. Boy scouts and condoms, marijuana and the tooth fairy, "ru"'s in the middle of words and the 29th of February; That black sheep, diamond in the rough, prize at the bottom of your box of cereal.

Be aware. Marijuana. It's everywhere. And pretty much everyone smokes it. Right?

It's Marijuana Awareness Month! I think we have something to say about this. But I guess we'll see if we feel like it when we get there.

Boy Scout Anniversary Week is the 5th through the 11th!

Almost every attempt I've made at saying something about this has resulted in something horribly dirty. There's something wrong with me. Well we have this really neato book about Boy Scouts that is in no way dirty! Happy Birthday Boy Scouts! How old? 102....That's over 18. DAMMIT I COULDNT STOP MYSELF.

Something I can't sully and that we celebrate almost every day at KU is Childrens Authors and Illustrators Week! If you've ever read our blog or come in our store you would have figured out we all know and love our children's lit. This is not the last you'll be hearing of this.

So February 1st kicks off just right with Working Naked Day.

There are so many benefits to working naked. What are some you ask?

  • Think about how many extra minutes of sleep you would get in a week since you wouldn't have to pick out an outfit.
  • Save money on doing laundry or even needing to buy work aprops clothes.
  • You'll feel so relaxed your productivity will sky rocket!
  • Spontaneous bongo playing will occur. I don't know why this benefits anyone, but Matthew McConaughey suggested it.

Downsides:

  • Cold.
  • You're naked.

So I guess we'll have to weigh the pros and cons of this one.

February 2nd is Groundhog day! 

Even if you aren't making it out to Punxsutawney to go hang with your good pal Phil there are still ways to celebrate! Why not get someone a Groundhogz Day card....no one sells them you say? What say you! You are wrong good friend because your favorite neighborhood KU does! Get 'em while they're hawt!

Speaking of getting it while its hot, once again the day before Vday, sometimes affectionately referred to as VD, kicks off National Flirting Week! We're kind of pros at flirting here at KU so this year you're going to get a different mentor to get you through the Hunger Games we call dating...minus all the death....and children...and no one refers to dating as the Hunger Games. But they could!  PS HAPPY ONE YEAR BLOGAVERSARY TO ME! Do we have a card for that? Probz.

Then the next day is good ol' VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Kards Unlimited will be unveiling their ANNUAL VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT LIST!!! Not sure what to get for that special someone? Need the PERFECT card? Need to get someone to find you even slightly desirable? WE CAN DO ALL THAT! So keep posted...or be alone forever...JK!LOLZ!

February 18th is Pluto Day, for all of us planetary fans.

The Pluto formerly known as a planet is pretty great despite its demotion.

February also means one of my favorite times of the year:

  • Babies in cakes
  • Booze
  • Boobz
  • Costumes
  • More cake
  • Parades
  • Beads

It’s Mardi Gras!

Since I sadly won’t be attending this year I will be celebrating…

National Margarita Day on the 22nd!!!!

I won’t be able to get my margaritas to go like I was this time last year but I will most certainly do my part to keep this holiday going. Not sure how to make a good margarita? Come on down to our bar book section and get some help. You won’t regret it, you might not even remember it!

Additionally helping those of us now in New Orleans…

Open that Bottle Night on the 25th!

(Same advice for Margarita Day applies.)

And last BUT MOST CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, its an effing LEAP YEAR this year, which means FEBRUARY 29th EXISTS!! What the what?!

The last time we got to indulge in a 29th of February was in 2008. Am I making that up? I don’t think so! REFRESH your memories of 2008.

Look at this movie poster of leap year starring one of my best friends, Amy Adams, and my husband to be, Matthew Goode.

So kiddos, February is jam-packed and I didn’t even tell you what we’re actually going to be blogging about!

The mystery is so magical!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO…..

Ayn Rand: 2th
James Joyce: 2th
George Romero: 4th
Laura Ingalls Wilder: 7th
Charles Dickens: 7th
Seth Green: 8th
John Williams: 8th
Jules Verne: 8th
Thomas Edison: 11th
Judy Blume: 12th
Charles Darwin: 12th
Abraham Lincoln: 12th
Joseph Gordon Levitt: 17th
Alan Rickman: 21th
Anais Nin: 21th
Chopin: 22th
Edna St. Vincent Millay: 22th
Edward Gorey: - 22th
Handel: 23th
Victor Hugo: 26th
Longfellow: 27th

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2 Jan
2012

Hold Onto Your Knit Hats. It’s January Again!

If you're reading this it means none of us are dead yet.....

JUST KIDDING!
Fake Mayan Doomsday isn't until December 21, 2012 so you have a whole year to keep reading our blog and chuckling heartily to yourself in front of your computer! You're welcome.
January might have some of the most spectacular eccentric holidays all year in addition to the regular amount of cool kid birthdays. What a great way to start the year!

 

We are getting hot in hurr if you catch my drift. Three ways.  Oh three ways.
No not those three ways. There are three ways we're getting hot in here this month of January! Enero. The month of Janus the Roman god of doors and gates the MOST INTERESTING GOD OF ALL. Kind of.
If there is one thing we know about and love and talk too much about it would be tea. We love tea. We love our tea hot (unless its iced tea season). We like our tea to stay hot. We maybe each now have really intense thermoses that we carry around all day and brag about how hot our tea still is. We like our tea so hot and delicious and perfectly steeped. So it's only right that we are celebrating
!!National Hot Tea Month!!
We love to drink tea.
We love all teas .
You like loose leaf? We have it!
You need a diffuser? Oh yes we have those!
You like bagged tea? WE HAVE ZILLIONS. Have you seen our tea selection lately?
No? But you want to? Okay!
Reds, blacks, greens, flavors of all kinds. Oh. My.
Secret sharing time: I am currently obsessed with our Almond Vanilla Tea . Sometimes I put a spot of vanilla almond milk in it.
More on tea another day...

 

Next keeping us hot as you know what-one of my other favorite things in the entire world:
SOUP
National Soup Month Y'all.
What is greater than taking good flavor combinations and blending them together with other great flavors to make something so steamy and soul warming and delectable and so easy that you don't even have to chew it?
There is nothing.

 

National Oatmeal Month!
Oatmeal is one of the few reasons I wake up in the winter.
But seriously.

 

Public Radio Broadcasting Day: The 13th
Remember that time this happened?
Yes, that was a KU shoutout on the facebook from NPR.
Jealous?
You should be.

 

National Mail Order Gardening Month!!
Not what you usually get mail order, but just as exciting for some of our gardening extraordinaires.
January is the month for planning!

 


Let's stop and sleuth for some "coincidences":
- International Fetish Day 20th
- National Stalking Awareness Month
- Self Love Month
- Appreciate a Dragon Day 16th
- Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day - 24th
- Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
Any coincidence that all of these happen in January....?
I THINK NOT KIND SIR!
Don't you see the connection between all of them?
This guy most definitely does.

 

January Birthdays:

JRR Tolkien:  3th
Cary Grant: 18th
 AA Milne: 18th
Mozart: 27th
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