22 Apr
2017

It’s April 23rd, which means it’s Talk Like Shakespeare Day again!

Talk Like Shakespeare Day cards! Yes! Get them!

Forsooth! Today is Talk Like Shakespeare Day!
The best of all the days throughout the year!
When all of us who love the Bard will say
"To be, or not to be?" in voices clear!
The works of William Shakespeare we shall read
and gaily plays and poems shall recite;
until the words ring loudly in our heads
and people speak in iambs day and night.
Of other days may other poets sing,
I'll keep my words for April twenty-third.
For truly, William Shakespeare is the king
of all the English language, says this nerd.
If you be not a faithful fan of his,
Then kindly up a rope please take a whiz!

In all seriousness, though, April 23rd is Talk Like Shakespeare Day.  It's because he was born (probably) and died on April 23rd. Same day, different years, obviously.  I don't feel the need to tell you any more facts about Shakespeare, as he is probably the most well-known writer the English language has yet produced and if you're that interested in learning more about him, you can read his Wikipedia page.  Fascinating stuff, actually.

What I am going to do is post a picture and a video which are both amazing and Shakespeare related, and leave it at that.

 

Possible best post on Tumblr

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18 Apr
2017

World Juggler’s Day! No… Wait… International Juggler’s Day!

  1. Baqet III is buried in the Ancient Egyptian cemetery site, Beni Hassan. Painted in memorials of life’s loves and life’s joys hieroglyphics donned upon his tomb reflect weavers, acrobats and, pictured below, the earliest known record of juggling.
  2. April 18th isn’t World Juggler’s Day. World Juggler’s Day is the Saturday closest to June 17th. April 18th is International Juggler’s Day which is another way to say World Juggler’s Day which, as you learned earlier, isn’t today. I asked over at r/Juggling why this was and user thomthomthomthom provided a reliable answer:

  3. In 1998 my mother and I come across a juggler at Monroeville Mall who was demonstrating and selling a VHS instructional video and 3 ball set from a company called More Balls Than Most which mom bought on the spot for me. From their pristine, succinct and humorous instruction I grew skilled in technical juggling tricks such as; the cascade, showers, the reverse cascade, columns, the yo-yo, the oy-oy, the claw (what it would look like if cats could juggle), Mill’s Mess, Rubenstein’s Revenge and, my mother’s personal favorite, juggler’s tennis.
  4. Clouds of dancers and fog pall over the whole stage; lights crash, a creaking and wooing-ahhs and yelps of the choir spill over as a half-lizard/half-man appears from his smoggy chrysalis emerging into a heap of human-ish form. The clouds part, a cosmic witch of the stars peers through the darkness and drops a ball into his hand. I am enraptured by the poetic menagerie of Viktor Kee’s use of his body, the conquering of the space around him, all for the juggle.

  5. In 2000 my high school gym teacher Mr. Verico had to put up with not only me but also Shannon Norman in his class. Sometimes he’d teach the whole class yelling from his best Henry Rollins impression (whom he looked like) while wearing Shannon’s studded and punk patch bedecked leather jacket just to make a point; we were people to him, we weren’t just high school kids. For 2 years Verico let me juggle as my gym credit. I showed him progress, he charted it, I aced it.
  6. Contact juggling is when the ball, usually a large, heavy, clear acrylic ball, glides smoothly across the surface of the juggler’s body. David Bowie in the movie Labyrinth, for example, is contact juggling. BUT! IT’S NOT BOWIE! It is Michael Moschen who is crouched, blinded, behind David Bowie and with his right arm under Bowie’s arm he is the juggler behind the Goblin King’s crystal balls.

  7. In 2010 I made 6 videos for a friend on the basics of juggling and how to get started. Heavily influenced by More Balls Than Most I imitated their teaching style and made a sarcastically awkward set of instructional videos ridden with snarky quips about my balls. Here's step 1!

  8. I spent much of 2016's summer in the park filming myself and sharing the videos on Instagram and on YouTube when, through various video editing apps and after an incident of accidental artistry, I found I was able to convert my videos from what juggling looks like into what juggling looks like to me. The video series shows the transcendentally emotional, psychological and psychedelic connection that I have to juggling. I have never felt as if I were singular but rather, something plural and as I have always referred to myself as “we” and or “us” then that makes me a “they.” In the video series I show my selves in cooperation; I show you them, working as one.

  9. In 2016 Shipwreck Asunder is in the middle of barber school dreaming of straight razors and carnival tents when Mike Willis and T.J. Harris at Modern Era Weddings call him up and hire him to wrangle Pittsburgh’s finest circus artists. Modern Era Weddings (winners of 9 “The Knot” awards), a full service wedding entertainment, planning, DJ, and documentation company decides, “you know what? Pittsburgh needs a full service, comprehensive circus arts collaborative and we’re going to give them one!” Shipwreck calls me, tells me to get my balls and meet him in the South Side for practice. Now after 18 years of juggling I accept my first job as a juggler. I choose the stage name Zero, a character from my children's-book-for-adults "The Adventures of Zero and The Girl" which, with all the world's fingers crossed, will be published and on sale at Kards Unlimited in the nearing future. 
  10. Speaking of the nearing future... I will be working with Kards Unlimited staff to develop a juggling props and magic tricks section for the store. How will you know Kards Unlimited will be selling juggling props and magic tricks? Why you’ll see me and my friends from Pittsburgh’s Circus Arts Collaborative (website coming soon!) giving demonstrations and inspiring the youth of today to follow in our playful footsteps. Perhaps one day some child's mother will turn him or her into a juggler because of me. Which I think would be pretty slick.
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15 Apr
2017

This Post Sucks

There are a lot of things that suck: Taxes, vacuums, and paying cover fees, just to name a few. Or, if you have the mentality of a thirteen-year-old boy, pretty much everything sucks.

Well, April 15th is National That Sucks Day. It's the day to let the world know just what you think really sucks. Sucky exes, sucky group projects, sucky knockoff brand products. But to put your own sucky experiences into perspective, it might be good to know some of the things that have actually happened on That Sucks Day. Historically, Friday the 13th really has nothing on That Sucks Day.

  1. Tax Day. Yes, this year's tax day is actually April 18 since April 15 is a Saturday, but while tax returns can be fun, and some taxes go to really great stuff, in general, tax day just causes a lot of headaches and frustration.
  2. President Abraham Lincoln's Death. Honest Abe was pronounced dead at 7:22 a.m. on April 15, 1865, the morning after being shot by John Wilkes Booth at Ford's Theater. He was the first president to ever be assassinated. Co-conspirators failed to assassinate Vice President Andrew Johnson and Secretary of State William H. Seward, so I guess that sucks a little less.
  3. HMS Titanic sinks. The legendary "unsinkable" ship hit an iceberg a little before midnight on April 14 (perhaps also one of the suckier days in history). The ocean liner, carrying about 2,200 people, took two and a half hours to sink, making its official sink day April 15, 1912. It was on its very first journey.
  4. Most people reading this will also remember the Boston Bombing, on this day in 2013.

The thing is, even sucky days can't suck all the time, right? Plenty of good stuff has happened on April 15, too. Now that I've gotten you a bit down, let me prop you back up with some not-so-sucky things about April 15 history:

  1. Jackie Robinson, 28, takes the field for the Brooklyn Dodgers on this day in 1947. 42 forever.
  2. The first bottle opener is invented in 1738 (to help us get through those That Sucks Days).
  3. In 1923, insulin becomes generally available to the public, which is definitely a good thing.
  4. Rand McNally publishes its first road atlas in 1924, launching the dreams of road trippers everywhere.
  5. William Shatner, Leondard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley are inducted into National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame in 1992, for their work on the groundbreaking series, Star Trek.

So there you go. That Sucks Day is a day to commiserate about all the sucky things in the world, but also a day to remember that maybe everything doesn't suck quite as bad as it seems.

Here's hoping your That Sucks Day doesn't suck.

11 Apr
2017

Boost your basket: Easter done right

This one Easter, I got a note from Mr. Easter Bunny himself inside my Easter basket. Hand-drawn in pictures (because I guess he doesn't know how to write? It makes sense, he is a rabbit.), the picture-note signaled that I would be receiving a half dozen baby chicks for Easter. I did, in fact, receive chickens a few days later. They lived long, healthy lives, and provided eggs for the entire neighborhood. But this is not their story.

My point is, Easter baskets are wonderful. Nothing beat racing my brother to see who found their basket first, and then rummaging through the goods and trading candy. Other than that one year, our baskets were always pretty standard, but it never took away from the excitement of Easter morning.

So, if you don't feel like going the baby chicken route, there are still plenty of ways to boost your baskets for Easter morning. May we suggest some of the following?

Kards has just about any cuddly stuffed animal you could want. Daughter's favorite animal a skunk? Got it. Son love unicorns? So many unicorns here. And, yes, we have bunnies galore, plus chicks and their mamas.

We have light up, color-changing eggs. I may be tempted to buy them all and zen out to the slow parade of colors. But I won't. I'll leave some for you, our loyal customers. Kids will wonder at these small marvels--they're a nice way to brighten a dark bedroom--but parents will get a kick out of them, too.

Do I really need to say anything about this one? Everyone loves stickers. Just trust me, get some stickers.

A time-honored tradition, an Easter basket just isn't an Easter basket without candy. Instead of, or in addition to, standard jelly beans and chocolate bunnies, add a little excitement with themed candy from a favorite movie, video game, or wherever Hello Kitty is from. Add a game of chance with Bean Boozled. Will the jelly bean you've chosen be delicious or one of the box's trick flavors?

Toys and games for the car ride to church, outdoor picnic, or rainy day inside, we have something fun no matter what Easter day has in store.

Here's a peek at some of the basket stuffers we have to offer, but stop in 9-9 Monday through Friday or 12-5 Sundays for even more options. We'll be open Easter day for that last-minute shopping, as well. Hoppy Easter!

6 Apr
2017

The Joy of Burritos

Who doesn't love a deliciously packed burrito? Just look at that. The types of ingredients can vary so much, it's almost mind-boggling. Choose beef, poultry, fish, veggie; add avocado, beans (pinto, black, kidney or even refried), lettuce, tomato, corn, onion, and rice (white or brown). Don't forget cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, and pico de gallo. Do you like your cheese saucy or crumbly? Do you like your salsa chunky or smooth? Not to mention spice level. How spicy would you like it? What sort of spicy? Hot jalapeno? Smokey chipotle? Chile? Perhaps a hint of sweetness? How about your tortilla ... would you like white or wheat? It's all up to you.

Ever had a breakfast burrito? Yeah, I said it. Breakfast. Burrito. Eggs, bacon, and cheese wrapped up? Uhh, yes, please. But again, your options are endless. Switch out the bacon for sausage. Throw in some veggies. Make it spicy. Try a crepe instead of a tortilla. I know it sounds amazing, but try not to cry.

    Behold, the dessert burrito

Or how about some of your favorite berries topped with fresh whipped creme, all wrapped up? Delicious, of course! Dessert burrito.  You're welcome.

A go-to of my own is the PB&J burrito. It may sound unusual, but it's just as satisfying and easy to make as any sandwich that utilizes bread. Already "been there?" Try switching out the jam for a banana. Add some honey if you like!

Are you hungry yet? Mouth watering? Head out to your favorite burrito stand or restaurant. Better yet, hit the market for some quality ingredients and have yourself a Burrito Buffet with all of your friends.

Sangria anyone?

1 Apr
2017

April 2017 Calendar of Events

Welcome April! April showers bring all sorts of fun holidays! While swinter finishes up and we get those quintessential grey 'burgh days, we've also got a bunch of things to smile about. Grilled cheese, National Unicorn Day, Drop Everything And Read Day, and International Juggler's Day, to name a few. Read on to see what else we're celebrating this month! Read more >>

27 Mar
2017

If you give a mouse a cookie, that’s cool, but giving him a sword is better.

"While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world in some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise and Peepiceek will be head of the talking mice in Narnia." - Reepicheep, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Ok, so here's the thing about giving swords to mice.  It's the freaking best.  While the symbolism of the swordsmouse probably goes without saying, let me at least say that one of the reasons swordsmice are awesome is that they remind us never to be daunted by long odds and to always persist in the face of adversity (two lessons that are becoming increasingly important).

In the case of Reepicheep, a well-known character from C.S. Lewis's Narnia and my very favorite swordsmouse, the lessons about being fierce despite small size are still there, but they're slightly overshadowed by the main thrust (no pun intended) of the character, which is that you should be a total and complete badass in every and all situations, no exceptions. Full stop.

Reepicheep's whole thing is that he might be the tiniest bit insecure about being, you know, a mouse, so he way, super overcompensates by being really into fighting everyone who even slightly annoys him in any capacity.  Now. On the surface, does this seem like really not an admirable quality?  Yes.  But!  Reepicheep completely makes up for this egregious old-timey bellicosity by being extremely noble, chivalrous, and basically just a big, damn hero.

This is a fanmade piece of art depicting Reepicheep and Matthias in a sword fight. Visit the artist's DeviantArt page, here!

Another great swordsmouse is Matthias, the main character of Brian Jacques's Redwall.  Matthias is a classic unlikely hero and really, who doesn't love that?  Matthias is opposite of Reepicheep in most ways. He's a peace-loving mouse who pretty much just loves working at Redwall Abbey and is portrayed as a bit of a bungler at first.  But he rises in defense of his home and his loved ones when the Abbey is threatened.  Without spoiling the book for you, I'll tell you that Matthias's transformation from hapless pastoral duffer to mighty swordsmouse is exactly what you need to read if you feel helpless.

Narnia and Redwall are very, very different from one another, but aside from swordsmice and being written by Brits, what they have in common is the deep-rooted theme that good will defeat evil as long as heroes have the will to persevere.

 

This should probably be the KU motto. It's definitely one of mine and is a perfect depiction of the best of what swordsmice represent.

Basically what I'm trying to say, you guys, is this: Swordsmice are one of the greatest things ever given to us by literature.  They remind us that valor, bravery, and physical prowess are not the domain only of the large and strong. They teach us not to be afraid to pick a fight, if we feel threatened.  They show us that you can be peaceful and still protect those you love.  These are important things for every child to learn, which is why swordsmice are mostly found in books for children and young adults, but I have found myself needing reminders lately. If you do, too, these books, and others like them, are the places to find them.

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25 Mar
2017

Isn’t Tolkien Reading Day every day?

Happy Tolkien Reading Day, folks. Held on March 25, this is generally the time each year that I decide to re-read at least one of the novels related to Tolkien's Middle Earth (I normally choose The Hobbit; it has always been my personal favorite). J.R.R. Tolkien is a pretty amazing dude who did a whole lot with his life. He served during the first World War and began to write many of his stories while injured. He studied linguistics and history, both of which inspired his works.

"Hey, I get it. I'm not here to learn about some English dude. I want to read about orcs and goblins!"

How rude, informal reader. But, alas, let's talk books. Well I am talking. Typing technically. You get it.

The father of high fantasy

J.R.R. Tolkien (source)

Never read a drop of Tolkien before? I would start with The Hobbit (1937). The Hobbit is a wonderful story, a fantasy novel written, in a lot of ways, like a historical epic (this trend is always present in Tolkien's work, and I would wager it is the reason his stories are so well done). It is a children's novel primarily, and that lends to its credit. Many of us read it when we were young, and the themes of adventure, excitement, and fear help us remember a time when we also saw the world as Mr. Bilbo Baggins does: frighteningly large and exciting. This book has a soothing quality around it and truly puts me at ease. The characters are all very real, which is essential for a world that isn't. If we can't relate to anyone, why should we care? If someone is the best at everything and has no faults, then I will stop reading.

"Uh, what about Gandalf?" you may ask. Oh dear reader, Gandalf has to be great and powerful and mysterious. He alienates us, the readers, to a degree. Also all the wizard really does is set pine cones on fire, so how great is he? The version you buy most anywhere will not be the original. Tolkien edited it when The Lord of the Rings was being made so it fit in with the world (hello retcon).

I won't take offense if you duck out now and go read The Hobbit. I am half tempted to. But for those who want something a bit meatier and meant for adult audiences, then how about this little ol' collection called The Lord of the Rings (1954-1955)? Three different books each made up of two parts, it will take a bit to read, but the journey is worth it.

"Hey guy, I watched the movies. I know the story." Hey, I hate to be that guy who goes on and on about how the books are better than the movies (I don't hate to be that guy), but that is what I am going to do. The movies had this problem where they had to fit 20 hours of content into a single movie. And they had to make it more exciting for the typical movie-going audience. And while the movie has an amazing soundtrack, wonderful cinematography, and a great cast, there's just some stuff that didn't translate.

Let's take one of my favorite book scenes. Strider (yes, Strider) is discussing the Last Alliance of Men and Elves and becomes lost in his thoughts. "Suddenly, a low voice murmured:

Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing;
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His sword was long, his lance was keen.
His shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored in his silver shield.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are."

Gil-Galad from the movie

Gil-Galad screen time: about 3 seconds? (source)

This is narrated by none other than Samwise Gamgee, who is fascinated by elves but doesn't even know if they are real. Strider goes into it more, but I hope you get the point by now. This one snippet developed multiple characters all at once, in many different ways. We know Strider is even more mysterious and knowledgeable than before, we know Sam wants to believe in something magical about the world, and we know this world is filled with established poems and sad tales. This poem has a beautiful sadness to it, which has stuck with me since the day I read it. And these stories are magical because moments like this happen everywhere. These very real characters, whom we relate to, live and fight and hope and dream, and die, and we feel for them. It feels more real than most fiction because of this. While I do enjoy the movies, this is one of the things it gets wrong (not out of choice I am sure, but necessity. You only have so much time).

"Character development isn't plot, Mr. Man" you may say. Well let's assume you are right. I did promise significant plot discrepancies between the films and books. Let's look at one (I don't want to spoil too much if you haven't read the books yet). Generally the same stuff happens, but in different ways. In the film The Return of the King, Aragorn leaves with Legolas and Gimli for no real reason and asks a bunch of ghosts to kill the bad guys in a city. Well ok, maybe I am oversimplifying a tad, however this has stuck with me since I saw the film. Aragon doesn't really deserve this victory; it is given to him. Kings should earn their kingship, birthrights are what the bad guys have. At the end of The Two Towers book, Strider meets some fellow rangers. He, Gimli, Legolas, and the rangers meet some ghosts. Because they are ghosts (you know, incorporeal) and can't really touch stuff, they scare a bunch of Southrons off of their boats, which Strider and co. use to approach Minas Tirith from the back and they liberate the city. They do it. They fight and die and earn the victory. When Strider becomes Aragorn, becoming king, you feel he is the rightful heir and has escaped the curse of Isildur. This is the kind of depth you can only get from reading the book.

Watercolor of the lonely mountain

Tolkien's paintings have this level of charm that you just don't see anymore (source)

Wait....you read these four books and you want something else? Well, on the Tolkien nerd flowchart, we now go to two different books: The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales. These books were never finished. Christopher Tolkien, J.R.R.'s son, edited and published these stories (and most of his other short stories, letters, and poem collections which are also worth looking up). The Silmarillion is a history book, make no mistake. But it is a history book about elves and their related adventures. Many of the scenes added to The Hobbit movies came from The Silmarillion. It goes in to a lot of detail of who Gandalf and the related wizards are and what they do as well. There is so much content I can't even scratch the surface, so I hope that you will take a look. Unfinished Tales is basically a book of short stories and drafts. It is an odd read because going in you know what you are reading will never be finished, but it isn't a bad one.

"You can't tell me that he didn't write anything else?!? I read all of this 10 times!" Look, dear reader, I feel you. Sadly, as the elves left for the Grey Havens, our journey is coming to a close. Tolkien has many critical essays written involving old poems and epics. He knew his stuff well, and if you are a fan of Arthurian legends and such, worth a read to see where his inspiration comes from. Many poems and stories here and there involve Middle Earth, as well, but, alas, that will be left for you to find.

Congratulations if you made it this far, but don't you have something to read by now? I know I do. Time to find some Old Toby and my own Glamdring. Now where did I put that Lighting Brand.....

T.