5 Feb
2017

Superb Owl

Are you still salty about the New Eng­land Patri­ots beat­ing the Steel­ers and mak­ing their ninth Super­bowl appear­ance? Noth­ing sucks as much as watch­ing your team get best­ed by a bunch of dirty, cheat­ing pret­ty boys, coached by the most repul­sive man on this plan­et. So what bet­ter way to help heal the wound by being a sore loser and mak­ing fun of the Patri­ots! Here’s my top ten list of why you should hate the Pats:

 

  1. TOM BRADY/Bill Belichick Both Left Preg­nant Wom­an, For A Younger One

Tom Brady and Gise­le Bund­chen have been togeth­er since 2007, but are you aware of Brid­get Moy­na­han? Brady left her for Gise­le when she was more than three months preg­nant with his child. Gise­le is also nine years younger than Brid­get. It goes to show you that the man has com­mit­ment issues. It’s no won­der why him and Belichick get along so well, Bill also left his wife and high school sweet­heart Deb­by Clarke while she was preg­nant with their third child togeth­er for his now girl­friend Lin­da Hol­i­day.

2. Robert Kraft Gave a Super­bowl Ring to Putin

Ok, while he tech­ni­cal­ly didn’t give him a ring, it’s still ques­tion­able why the own­er of a sports team would want to meet the Rus­sian Pres­i­dent. While on a “busi­ness trip” Kraft was intro­duced to Putin, to whom Kraft showed his super­bowl ring. Appar­ent­ly, Putin tried it on and nev­er gave it back. Just know­ing that Vladimir Putin is a fan of the Patri­ots, one can only spec­u­late the shady deals Kraft and him have done over the years.

3.  Deflate­gate

Now this one is real­ly the only unbi­ased rea­son I have on this list. In May of 2015, the NFL began their inves­ti­ga­tion into the claims that the patri­ots were tam­per­ing with their foot­balls; deflat­ing their balls to make it eas­ier to grip and throw dur­ing the AFC cham­pi­onship game again­st the Colts. How could America’s team be cheaters? Have they no morals, have they no shame?

The bot­tom line is, they cheat­ed, they knew about it, regard­less of what they say. The Gold­en Boy him­self was in hot water, though only being charged a measly four game sus­pen­sion. This wasn’t the first time the Pats were caught though…

4. Spy­gate

If deflat­ing foot­balls gets you all worked up, you prob­a­bly for­got when the Patri­ots were caught tap­ing the New York Jet’s defen­sive coach­es’ sig­nals dur­ing a 2007 game. Tap­ing coach­es isn’t again­st the rules if done from des­ig­nat­ed areas, but the Pats were film­ing from their own side­line, which is not allowed. Belichick was fined 500k for this, the team itself was fined 250k and their first round draft pick in the 2008 draft. It came out lat­er that they were tap­ing the St. Louis Rams prac­tice before the Super­bowl in 2002 as well. Caught cheat­ing twice, but they must have an excel­lent PR team, because Pats nation is as strong as ever. (Sounds famil­iar…)

5. Any Fan 23 and under only knows win­ning

Don’t you just hate peo­ple that win every­thing? But don’t you hate it more when those peo­ple weren’t there from the begin­ning? Wel­come to Patri­ots Nation. The epi­cen­ter for band­wag­on fans. A fun fact, if you’re 23 and under, you’ve only wit­nessed sea­sons with at least 11 wins. They’ve nev­er real­ly had much to com­plain about. No young Patri­ots fan is even remote­ly hum­ble about win­ning, and if you bring up cheat­ing, they turn into a lit­tle kid cov­er­ing their ears and eyes, blind and deaf to the truth.

6. Week 17 2000 was the last time they played a game already elim­i­nat­ed from play­off con­tention

Stats like this just rip people’s hearts out when they read them. Lions fans have wit­nessed a win­less sea­son, Jets fans have suf­fered from medi­oc­rity, and Rams fans have watched their team pack up and move. But for the past sev­en­teen years, Patri­ots fans have had the hope of mak­ing it to the play­offs. They can’t relate to any oth­er team or fan, they just live in this lit­tle fan­ta­sy world where they nev­er lose, and that’s why Pat fans are just so insuf­fer­able.

7. Aaron Her­nan­dez

A local boy from my home state of Con­necti­cut, end­ed up play­ing tight end for the Pats in 2010. In 2013 he was arrest­ed for the mur­der of semi pro foot­ball play­er Odin Lloyd. He was released from the team, found guilty of the crime, and sen­tenced to life in pris­on with­out parole. He was also indict­ed for the dou­ble mur­der of Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Fur­ta­do.  I know the Pats real­ly can’t con­trol the­se ter­ri­ble things, but it just throws fuel on the fire. It leaves a stain on their rep­u­ta­tion.

8. Why does Belichick cut the sleeves off his shirts?

This one is pure­ly a mat­ter of taste. Is it for move­ment? Style? Does he need to air his pits out con­stant­ly? What­ev­er the rea­son, I think it’s the stu­pid­est thing in foot­ball and I will make fun of him for it until the day he retires.

9. Fans just suck

Patriot’s fans are sim­ply the worst fans in all of sports. They’re loud, rude, enti­tled, band­wag­on-y jerks. I have yet to meet a fan I get along with. 

 

 

 

10. GRONK

TE Rob Gronkoski is the quin­tes­sen­tial douche bag. He’s dumb, he will sleep with your girl­friend in a heart­beat, and he’s admit­ted­ly pret­ty good at what he does. Nobody likes that type of per­son.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are plen­ty more as to why you can hate the Patri­ots, but hope­ful­ly this give you some moti­va­tion.

 

3 Feb
2017

THE CUTEST CARD HOLIDAY ALL YEAR!

…is why we LOVE Valentine’s Day!

and also we love love. Like a lot. It’s our thing.

I’m going to try my very best to stay calm and not to shout at you dur­ing this tour of our best Valentine’s Day cards. Look how calm I am. No hyper­bol­ic excla­ma­tions. NBD. What­ev. I could care less. Ok let’s look at some cards.

OH MY GOD THO LOOK AT THE PUNS!!!!!!!!!

punlove

Pun Love

Not only are the­se cards the CUTEST, and fair-trade recy­cled, they also hap­pen to sup­port an amaz­ing cause.  The card mak­ers are wom­en who have escaped sex traf­fick­ing in the Philip­pines and young adults orphaned by dis­ease in Rwan­da. Each card is signed  and so con­nects you to the life you are help­ing to trans­form. I know. Cry­ing. I can’t even. Also from Good Paper, some adorb gay/lesbian designs because LOVE IS MOTHERF***ING LOVE! Ahem.

loveislove

May­be puns aren’t your thing. How about some SCIENCE! I’d say the more roman­tic sci­ences are Chem­istry (duh) and astron­o­my (man crush on Neil Degrasse Tyson):

 

 

Sci­ence not your thing? How about the 80s! The 80s is everyone’s thing. Except cur­mud­geons. The­se cards are by a new com­pa­ny we are IN LOVE with called The Found:

retrolove

Retro Love

May­be you want that vin­tage vibe; check out the­se beau­ti­ful water col­or cards from Driscoll:

dricoll

How about the­se nat­u­ral­ly occur­ring hearts in nature from the love­ly Hearts Hap­pen line, we have a bunch and they are all so sweet:

Hearts Happen

Hey if you like nature, may­be you like NPR? Eh? Safe assump­tion? Ani­mals? Eh? Try out the­se cards from Lady Pilot, also a new favorite:

liberllove

Let’s get seri­ous now. Let’s get down to the best kind of love. NERD LOVE. And the best kind of cards, OUR CARDS! That’s right, the­se are home­made fresh out the oven best served with geek sauce.

hplove

 

nerdlove

But seri­ous­ly, we have seri­ous cards too. We have it all, and we sin­cere­ly love to help you find the per­fect card so if you need some ideas, just ask! Hedge­hog card? Yep! Cats? Duh! Dogs? C’mon. Cards from my grams? Of course! And don’t for­get, Galentine’s Day is real, don’t for­get to send your friends some love. This par­ty isn’t just for lovers any­more;-)

with love,

Blair.

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Feb
2017

February 2017 Calendar of Events

Kards Unlimited February 2017 Holidays and Birthdays

It’s Feb­ru­ary and you know what that means: love is in the air! Ah, l’amour… Not to men­tion the bil­lion oth­er awe­some things we’re cel­e­brat­ing this mon­th. There’s Valentine’s Day, of course, but there’s also Ground­hog Day, Did You Fart? DayNation­al Sticky Bun Day, and Tell A Fairy Tale Day just to name a few. Read on to see all we’re in love with this mon­th! Read more »

1 Jan
2017

January 2017 Calendar of Events

kards-unlimited-january-2017-holidays-and-birthdays

Hi! Hap­py Jan­u­ary! We’re speed­ing into the future here, and we’ve got a lot to cel­e­brate this mon­th. 2017, Inter­na­tion­al Kiss A Gin­ger DayCheese Lovers Day and more! Read on to see what we’re cel­e­brat­ing this mon­th. Read more »

1 Dec
2016

December 2016 Calendar of Events

kards-unlimited-december-2016-holidays-and-birthdays

♫While the mer­ry bells keep ringing/May your every wish come true♫ It’s our absolute FAVORITE time of year: the hol­i­day freak­ing sea­son! We’ve got so many things to cel­e­brate this mon­th, besides the usu­al faves, like Christ­mas, Hanukkah, and Kwan­zaa. Read on to find out what’s get­ting our spir­its even high­er this mon­th! Read more »

23 Nov
2016

Top 10 Things We Are Thankful For!

thanks

Now more than ever we need to remind our­selves what we are thank­ful for and not take those things for grant­ed. So with­out fur­ther ado:

  1. Nerds. You make the world go round. Enthu­si­asm is the spice of life, in a Dune kind of way.
  2. Left­over Hal­loween can­dy. Rot­ting my teeth as we speak, and Star­burst are lit­er­al­ly fly­ing across the office at an alarm­ing and dan­ger­ous rate. 
  3. Books. But seri­ous­ly, can you even imag­ine life with­out? Don’t. Don’t try. It’s awful and cold and dark in that place. 
  4. Pets. Along with books, make life worth liv­ing. Some­times I look at my cats and get real­ly tripped out that this super fuzzy lit­tle crea­ture with legs and a face that exists on this plan­et is liv­ing in my house and likes to hang out with me. 
  5. Har­ry Potter/J.K. Rowl­ing. We’re pret­ty sure that Har­ry Pot­ter is 95% of what we talk about here at KU, and the oth­er 5% is usu­al­ly about remind­ing the males to use the bath­room spray in the employ­ee bath­room. (Note: We need more bath­room spray.)
  6. Each oth­er. We like to cre­ate a fam­i­ly here at Ku, and right now our staff is aces. We are real­ly lucky to have real­ly good peo­ple work­ing with us.
  7. Game of Thrones ref­er­ences.  Ok I lied, our con­ver­sa­tions here are 60% Har­ry Pot­ter and 40% GOT. We like to yell “YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW!” at trainees. But in a nice way.
  8.  Star Wars ref­er­ences. Ok I lied again. Our con­vos our 50% Pot­ter, 20% GOT, and 1,000% Star Wars ref­er­ences. Most used: “the­se are the cards you’re look­ing for” and “that’s no (insert moon-like object).
  9. & 10. The last 2 are ded­i­cat­ed to YOU our won­der­ful and loy­al cus­tomers because I want to talk about you for more than as sen­tence. You are sin­cere­ly what makes us love com­ing to work every­day. Inter­act­ing with you about what you’re read­ing, watch­ing, eat­ing, and espe­cial­ly hear­ing you laugh, reminds us why we’re here. We have fun with each oth­er here, but it’s the cus­tomers that real­ly make it all worth it. 

Hap­py Thanks­giv­ing to you and your fam­i­lies, human and feline and canine and all. 

-Kards Unlim­it­ed

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3 Nov
2016

National Sandwich Day: Tips from a Pro!

Nobody gets me like you do sandwich

Nobody gets me like you do sand­wich

 
On this spe­cial day, we have out­sourced this blog to a pro sand­wich lover, the one and only Marne Orenich. The girl has sand­wich tat­toos on her body, what more sand­wich street cred do you need? Enjoy her rec­om­men­da­tions!
 
I would nev­er call myself a “food­ie” (wretch), and I admit that I’ve been slip­pin’ on check­ing out the ridicu­lous amount of awe­some restau­rants pop­ping up in the Burgh, but if there is one thing I know to be real and true, it’s that I am obsessed with sand­wich­es. If you want proof, you can talk to Bree, who drove 7 hours across the state with me to go to the Sand­wich Club sum­mit last year, or the tat­too artist who per­ma­nent­ly drilled a hoagie onto my ribs on the way back from said sum­mit (Bree got a grilled cheese on her leg). 
 
For Nation­al Sand­wich Day, my dear friend Aman­da asked me to write a lit­tle some­thing, so I thought I’d share a hand­ful of my favorite san­dos from our deli­cious city. 
 
Buf­falo Chick­en Hoagie- Spak Bros
Spak Bros knows how to do a hoagie. I delight in any­thing buf­falo-relat­ed, so I go with grilled chick­en (to be healthy, right?), and ditch the veg­gies (wait, that’s not that healthy), pro­volone cheese, and of course blue cheese on the side (yes, dou­ble cheese). Hon­or­able men­tion to the Sei­tan Melt (or “Smelt”) that every veg­an or veg­e­tar­i­an in PGH is obsessed with. 
 
Tuna Melt– Hanlon’s (Crafton)
Hanlon’s is a lit­tle trea­sure, and a favorite of every­one I work with in Crafton. Their Tuna Melt isn’t any­thing fan­cy, but it’s done per­fect­ly on toasty bread with cheese and toma­to. 
 
Banh Mi- bril­lobox
Every­one I know LOVES this sam­mie. I actu­al­ly prefer the tofu ver­sion, even though I eat meat, but pork and chick­en are also avail­able. I rec­om­mend get­ting the option­al jalapeños if you like it spicy. (Please note that I do know of Lucy and her mag­i­cal Bahn Mi’s in the Strip, but our beloved Rick Sebak has already high­light­ed her, so I thought I’d give bril­lo a deserved shout out.)
 
Baba Jaga- Apteka
Described as “Veg pate, Pol­ish pick­les, smoked onion remoulade, pick­led beet, mus­tard, house seed bread”, it didn’t nec­es­sar­i­ly appeal to me until I tried half of my friend’s. It imme­di­ate­ly blew me away and became a sand­wich I knew I’d come back for. 
 
Rose­mary Braised Beef- Gau­cho Par­il­la Argenti­na
This one is mem­o­rable on fla­vor and size. When I first got it, I knew there was no way I could fin­ish it in one go. Rose­mary is one of my favorite herbs, and this beef is per­fect. 
 
I want­ed to keep this list short n sweet, but if you’re hun­gry for more, I’d sug­gest watch­ing Rick Sebak’s Sand­wich­es That You Will Like, a must see for any san­do lover. In clos­ing, I ask you what Rick asks at the end of his tasty doc­u­men­tary: Which is more impor­tant in a sand­wich? The bread, or the fill­ing?  A true ques­tion for the ages…
 
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1 Nov
2016

November 2016 Holidays

november-2016-2Well, Hal­loween is over so we might as well all go home. JUST KIDDING! IT’S TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!

Well okay, we’ll give you some time to adjust, how about for now we just cel­e­brate ALL the­se super fun hol­i­days that are con­tained in the mon­th of Novem­ber! This mon­th holds a slew of fun things! For instance: Sand­wich Day (Nov 3), Sesame St Day (Nov 10), I Love To Write Day (Nov 15) and Absur­di­ty Day (Nov 20). Birth­days this mon­th include Hel­lo Kit­ty (Nov 1), Neil Gaiman (Nov 10), James Bond (Nov 11) and C.S. Lewis (Nov 29). For even more rea­sons to keep the par­ty rollin’, keep read­ing!

1

Okay gents (and awe­some non-gen­der con­form­ing wom­en), it’s time to start grow­ing your win­ter upper lip scarf! It’s Mus­tache Mon­th! Oth­er­wise known as Movem­ber. It’s also Nation­al Mod­el Rail­road Mon­th. CHOO CHOO! Oh! And it’s Peanut But­ter Lovers Mon­th. Per­son­al­ly, peanut but­ter runs in my blood so this is MY MONTH. But I’ll share.

2

First up in the mon­th is All Saint’s Day and Nation­al Authors Day (both Nov 1). Get your paprika on for Dev­iled Egg Day (Nov 2)! Oh here is a great one: Men Make Din­ner Day (Nov 3)! Guys, if you need recipes, we have SO MANY awe­some cook­books. It’s also Cliché Day and Sand­wich Day (both Nov 3). Oh and then the FUN begins! The week­end of the 4th is both Sher­lock Holmes Week­end and also Punk­in Chunk­in Days! Who can solve the mys­tery of where all the pump­kins went???? I bet Myth­busters took them, guys.
Oh! Also Doc­tor Strange hits the­aters on the 4th.
Don’t for­get to Remem­ber Remem­ber the 5th of Novem­ber! And then you can cel­e­brate Marooned with­out a com­pass day on Novem­ber 6th.

Birth­days this week­end include:
Hel­lo Kitty(Nov 1)

3

It’s Dear San­ta Let­ter Week! Are you ready for that? I’m not ready for that, but it’s hap­pen­ing. If you’re not, there’s always Area Code Day and Sesame St. Day (both Nov 10) and Vet­er­ans Day (Nov 11) and World Kind­ness Day (Nov 13)!

Birth­days this week include:
Mar­garet Mitchell and Bram Stok­er (both Nov 8), Neil Gaiman (Nov 10), Kurt Von­negut and James Bond (Nov 11), and Mar­garet Atwood (Nov 13).

4

It’s time to dust off the old board games in your clos­et for Games and Puz­zle Week! And then there’s I Love To Write Day and Nation­al Bundt Pan Day (both Nov 15).
The cutest hol­i­day ever is up next: Have a Par­ty With Your Bear Day (Nov 16). .…I mean, it’s cute if you’re par­ty­ing with ted­dy bears. I guess it could get ugly if you try par­ty­ing with a wild bear.

Next up is Home­made Bread Day (Nov 17) and Mar­ried to a Scor­pio Sup­port Day (Nov 18). Then there’s Rocky and Bull­win­kle Day and World Toi­let Day (both Nov 19).
And of course, Absur­di­ty Day on Novem­ber 20th!

And HELLO DID YOU KNOW that the world of HARRY POTTER is return­ing to the sil­ver screen on Novem­ber 18th!!!! Do you have your tick­ets to Fan­tas­tic Beasts and Where to Find Them yet? ARE YOU SO EXCITED? We are. We SO are. <3<3<3

5

Start the week off right with the most TIMELESS HOLIDAY of ALL. Doc­tor Who Day (Nov 23)! And then, of course, there’s Turkey Day. Good ol’ stuff your face full of stuff­ing day! But did you know that this year Thanks­giv­ing and All Our Uncles are Mon­keys Day are the SAME DAY (Nov 24). So make sure to bring that banana pud­ding to Thanks­giv­ing din­ner for your Favorite uncle Har­ry. He will be so con­fused.

Of course, the day after Thanks­giv­ing day is so very well know! It’s You’re Wel­come Day(Nov 25)! Oh. And also Black Fri­day.

This Sun­day, Nov 27th, marks the start of Advent, so Christ­mas is offi­cial­ly STARTING. Are you ready?

Birth­days this week include:
Frances Hodg­son Bur­nett (Nov 24)

6

Only one hol­i­day this week, but it’s a great one! It’s French Toast Day on Novem­ber 28th, so Treat Yo’ Self.

Birth­days this week include:
Jon Stew­art (Nov 28), Made­line L’Engle and C.S. Lewis (both Nov 29)