Are you still salty about the New England Patriots beating the Steelers and making their ninth Superbowl appearance? Nothing sucks as much as watching your team get bested by a bunch of dirty, cheating pretty boys, coached by the most repulsive man on this planet. So what better way to help heal the wound by being a sore loser and making fun of the Patriots! Here’s my top ten list of why you should hate the Pats:
- TOM BRADY/Bill Belichick Both Left Pregnant Woman, For A Younger One
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have been together since 2007, but are you aware of Bridget Moynahan? Brady left her for Gisele when she was more than three months pregnant with his child. Gisele is also nine years younger than Bridget. It goes to show you that the man has commitment issues. It’s no wonder why him and Belichick get along so well, Bill also left his wife and high school sweetheart Debby Clarke while she was pregnant with their third child together for his now girlfriend Linda Holiday.
2. Robert Kraft Gave a Superbowl Ring to Putin
Ok, while he technically didn’t give him a ring, it’s still questionable why the owner of a sports team would want to meet the Russian President. While on a “business trip” Kraft was introduced to Putin, to whom Kraft showed his superbowl ring. Apparently, Putin tried it on and never gave it back. Just knowing that Vladimir Putin is a fan of the Patriots, one can only speculate the shady deals Kraft and him have done over the years.
Now this one is really the only unbiased reason I have on this list. In May of 2015, the NFL began their investigation into the claims that the patriots were tampering with their footballs; deflating their balls to make it easier to grip and throw during the AFC championship game against the Colts. How could America’s team be cheaters? Have they no morals, have they no shame?
The bottom line is, they cheated, they knew about it, regardless of what they say. The Golden Boy himself was in hot water, though only being charged a measly four game suspension. This wasn’t the first time the Pats were caught though…
If deflating footballs gets you all worked up, you probably forgot when the Patriots were caught taping the New York Jet’s defensive coaches’ signals during a 2007 game. Taping coaches isn’t against the rules if done from designated areas, but the Pats were filming from their own sideline, which is not allowed. Belichick was fined 500k for this, the team itself was fined 250k and their first round draft pick in the 2008 draft. It came out later that they were taping the St. Louis Rams practice before the Superbowl in 2002 as well. Caught cheating twice, but they must have an excellent PR team, because Pats nation is as strong as ever. (Sounds familiar…)
5. Any Fan 23 and under only knows winning
Don’t you just hate people that win everything? But don’t you hate it more when those people weren’t there from the beginning? Welcome to Patriots Nation. The epicenter for bandwagon fans. A fun fact, if you’re 23 and under, you’ve only witnessed seasons with at least 11 wins. They’ve never really had much to complain about. No young Patriots fan is even remotely humble about winning, and if you bring up cheating, they turn into a little kid covering their ears and eyes, blind and deaf to the truth.
6. Week 17 2000 was the last time they played a game already eliminated from playoff contention
Stats like this just rip people’s hearts out when they read them. Lions fans have witnessed a winless season, Jets fans have suffered from mediocrity, and Rams fans have watched their team pack up and move. But for the past seventeen years, Patriots fans have had the hope of making it to the playoffs. They can’t relate to any other team or fan, they just live in this little fantasy world where they never lose, and that’s why Pat fans are just so insufferable.
7. Aaron Hernandez
A local boy from my home state of Connecticut, ended up playing tight end for the Pats in 2010. In 2013 he was arrested for the murder of semi pro football player Odin Lloyd. He was released from the team, found guilty of the crime, and sentenced to life in prison without parole. He was also indicted for the double murder of Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Furtado. I know the Pats really can’t control these terrible things, but it just throws fuel on the fire. It leaves a stain on their reputation.
8. Why does Belichick cut the sleeves off his shirts?
This one is purely a matter of taste. Is it for movement? Style? Does he need to air his pits out constantly? Whatever the reason, I think it’s the stupidest thing in football and I will make fun of him for it until the day he retires.
9. Fans just suck
Patriot’s fans are simply the worst fans in all of sports. They’re loud, rude, entitled, bandwagon-y jerks. I have yet to meet a fan I get along with.
TE Rob Gronkoski is the quintessential douche bag. He’s dumb, he will sleep with your girlfriend in a heartbeat, and he’s admittedly pretty good at what he does. Nobody likes that type of person.
There are plenty more as to why you can hate the Patriots, but hopefully this give you some motivation.
…is why we LOVE Valentine’s Day!
and also we love love. Like a lot. It’s our thing.
I’m going to try my very best to stay calm and not to shout at you during this tour of our best Valentine’s Day cards. Look how calm I am. No hyperbolic exclamations. NBD. Whatev. I could care less. Ok let’s look at some cards.
OH MY GOD THO LOOK AT THE PUNS!!!!!!!!!
Not only are these cards the CUTEST, and fair-trade recycled, they also happen to support an amazing cause. The card makers are women who have escaped sex trafficking in the Philippines and young adults orphaned by disease in Rwanda. Each card is signed and so connects you to the life you are helping to transform. I know. Crying. I can’t even. Also from Good Paper, some adorb gay/lesbian designs because LOVE IS MOTHERF***ING LOVE! Ahem.
Maybe puns aren’t your thing. How about some SCIENCE! I’d say the more romantic sciences are Chemistry (duh) and astronomy (man crush on Neil Degrasse Tyson):
Science not your thing? How about the 80s! The 80s is everyone’s thing. Except curmudgeons. These cards are by a new company we are IN LOVE with called The Found:
Maybe you want that vintage vibe; check out these beautiful water color cards from Driscoll:
How about these naturally occurring hearts in nature from the lovely Hearts Happen line, we have a bunch and they are all so sweet:
Hey if you like nature, maybe you like NPR? Eh? Safe assumption? Animals? Eh? Try out these cards from Lady Pilot, also a new favorite:
Let’s get serious now. Let’s get down to the best kind of love. NERD LOVE. And the best kind of cards, OUR CARDS! That’s right, these are homemade fresh out the oven best served with geek sauce.
But seriously, we have serious cards too. We have it all, and we sincerely love to help you find the perfect card so if you need some ideas, just ask! Hedgehog card? Yep! Cats? Duh! Dogs? C’mon. Cards from my grams? Of course! And don’t forget, Galentine’s Day is real, don’t forget to send your friends some love. This party isn’t just for lovers anymore;-)
It’s February and you know what that means: love is in the air! Ah, l’amour… Not to mention the billion other awesome things we’re celebrating this month. There’s Valentine’s Day, of course, but there’s also Groundhog Day, Did You Fart? Day, National Sticky Bun Day, and Tell A Fairy Tale Day just to name a few. Read on to see all we’re in love with this month! Read more »
Hi! Happy January! We’re speeding into the future here, and we’ve got a lot to celebrate this month. 2017, International Kiss A Ginger Day, Cheese Lovers Day and more! Read on to see what we’re celebrating this month. Read more »
♫While the merry bells keep ringing/May your every wish come true♫ It’s our absolute FAVORITE time of year: the holiday freaking season! We’ve got so many things to celebrate this month, besides the usual faves, like Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. Read on to find out what’s getting our spirits even higher this month! Read more »
Now more than ever we need to remind ourselves what we are thankful for and not take those things for granted. So without further ado:
- Nerds. You make the world go round. Enthusiasm is the spice of life, in a Dune kind of way.
- Leftover Halloween candy. Rotting my teeth as we speak, and Starburst are literally flying across the office at an alarming and dangerous rate.
- Books. But seriously, can you even imagine life without? Don’t. Don’t try. It’s awful and cold and dark in that place.
- Pets. Along with books, make life worth living. Sometimes I look at my cats and get really tripped out that this super fuzzy little creature with legs and a face that exists on this planet is living in my house and likes to hang out with me.
- Harry Potter/J.K. Rowling. We’re pretty sure that Harry Potter is 95% of what we talk about here at KU, and the other 5% is usually about reminding the males to use the bathroom spray in the employee bathroom. (Note: We need more bathroom spray.)
- Each other. We like to create a family here at Ku, and right now our staff is aces. We are really lucky to have really good people working with us.
- Game of Thrones references. Ok I lied, our conversations here are 60% Harry Potter and 40% GOT. We like to yell “YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW!” at trainees. But in a nice way.
- Star Wars references. Ok I lied again. Our convos our 50% Potter, 20% GOT, and 1,000% Star Wars references. Most used: “these are the cards you’re looking for” and “that’s no (insert moon-like object).
- & 10. The last 2 are dedicated to YOU our wonderful and loyal customers because I want to talk about you for more than as sentence. You are sincerely what makes us love coming to work everyday. Interacting with you about what you’re reading, watching, eating, and especially hearing you laugh, reminds us why we’re here. We have fun with each other here, but it’s the customers that really make it all worth it.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families, human and feline and canine and all.
On this special day, we have outsourced this blog to a pro sandwich lover, the one and only Marne Orenich. The girl has sandwich tattoos on her body, what more sandwich street cred do you need? Enjoy her recommendations!I would never call myself a “foodie” (wretch), and I admit that I’ve been slippin’ on checking out the ridiculous amount of awesome restaurants popping up in the Burgh, but if there is one thing I know to be real and true, it’s that I am obsessed with sandwiches. If you want proof, you can talk to Bree, who drove 7 hours across the state with me to go to the Sandwich Club summit last year, or the tattoo artist who permanently drilled a hoagie onto my ribs on the way back from said summit (Bree got a grilled cheese on her leg).For National Sandwich Day, my dear friend Amanda asked me to write a little something, so I thought I’d share a handful of my favorite sandos from our delicious city.Buffalo Chicken Hoagie- Spak BrosSpak Bros knows how to do a hoagie. I delight in anything buffalo-related, so I go with grilled chicken (to be healthy, right?), and ditch the veggies (wait, that’s not that healthy), provolone cheese, and of course blue cheese on the side (yes, double cheese). Honorable mention to the Seitan Melt (or “Smelt”) that every vegan or vegetarian in PGH is obsessed with.Tuna Melt– Hanlon’s (Crafton)Hanlon’s is a little treasure, and a favorite of everyone I work with in Crafton. Their Tuna Melt isn’t anything fancy, but it’s done perfectly on toasty bread with cheese and tomato.Banh Mi- brilloboxEveryone I know LOVES this sammie. I actually prefer the tofu version, even though I eat meat, but pork and chicken are also available. I recommend getting the optional jalapeños if you like it spicy. (Please note that I do know of Lucy and her magical Bahn Mi’s in the Strip, but our beloved Rick Sebak has already highlighted her, so I thought I’d give brillo a deserved shout out.)Baba Jaga- AptekaDescribed as “Veg pate, Polish pickles, smoked onion remoulade, pickled beet, mustard, house seed bread”, it didn’t necessarily appeal to me until I tried half of my friend’s. It immediately blew me away and became a sandwich I knew I’d come back for.Rosemary Braised Beef- Gaucho Parilla ArgentinaThis one is memorable on flavor and size. When I first got it, I knew there was no way I could finish it in one go. Rosemary is one of my favorite herbs, and this beef is perfect.I wanted to keep this list short n sweet, but if you’re hungry for more, I’d suggest watching Rick Sebak’s Sandwiches That You Will Like, a must see for any sando lover. In closing, I ask you what Rick asks at the end of his tasty documentary: Which is more important in a sandwich? The bread, or the filling? A true question for the ages…
Well, Halloween is over so we might as well all go home. JUST KIDDING! IT’S TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!
Well okay, we’ll give you some time to adjust, how about for now we just celebrate ALL these super fun holidays that are contained in the month of November! This month holds a slew of fun things! For instance: Sandwich Day (Nov 3), Sesame St Day (Nov 10), I Love To Write Day (Nov 15) and Absurdity Day (Nov 20). Birthdays this month include Hello Kitty (Nov 1), Neil Gaiman (Nov 10), James Bond (Nov 11) and C.S. Lewis (Nov 29). For even more reasons to keep the party rollin’, keep reading!
Okay gents (and awesome non-gender conforming women), it’s time to start growing your winter upper lip scarf! It’s Mustache Month! Otherwise known as Movember. It’s also National Model Railroad Month. CHOO CHOO! Oh! And it’s Peanut Butter Lovers Month. Personally, peanut butter runs in my blood so this is MY MONTH. But I’ll share.
First up in the month is All Saint’s Day and National Authors Day (both Nov 1). Get your paprika on for Deviled Egg Day (Nov 2)! Oh here is a great one: Men Make Dinner Day (Nov 3)! Guys, if you need recipes, we have SO MANY awesome cookbooks. It’s also Cliché Day and Sandwich Day (both Nov 3). Oh and then the FUN begins! The weekend of the 4th is both Sherlock Holmes Weekend and also Punkin Chunkin Days! Who can solve the mystery of where all the pumpkins went???? I bet Mythbusters took them, guys.
Oh! Also Doctor Strange hits theaters on the 4th.
Don’t forget to Remember Remember the 5th of November! And then you can celebrate Marooned without a compass day on November 6th.
Birthdays this weekend include:
Hello Kitty(Nov 1)
It’s Dear Santa Letter Week! Are you ready for that? I’m not ready for that, but it’s happening. If you’re not, there’s always Area Code Day and Sesame St. Day (both Nov 10) and Veterans Day (Nov 11) and World Kindness Day (Nov 13)!
Birthdays this week include:
Margaret Mitchell and Bram Stoker (both Nov 8), Neil Gaiman (Nov 10), Kurt Vonnegut and James Bond (Nov 11), and Margaret Atwood (Nov 13).
It’s time to dust off the old board games in your closet for Games and Puzzle Week! And then there’s I Love To Write Day and National Bundt Pan Day (both Nov 15).
The cutest holiday ever is up next: Have a Party With Your Bear Day (Nov 16). .…I mean, it’s cute if you’re partying with teddy bears. I guess it could get ugly if you try partying with a wild bear.
Next up is Homemade Bread Day (Nov 17) and Married to a Scorpio Support Day (Nov 18). Then there’s Rocky and Bullwinkle Day and World Toilet Day (both Nov 19).
And of course, Absurdity Day on November 20th!
And HELLO DID YOU KNOW that the world of HARRY POTTER is returning to the silver screen on November 18th!!!! Do you have your tickets to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them yet? ARE YOU SO EXCITED? We are. We SO are. <3<3<3
Start the week off right with the most TIMELESS HOLIDAY of ALL. Doctor Who Day (Nov 23)! And then, of course, there’s Turkey Day. Good ol’ stuff your face full of stuffing day! But did you know that this year Thanksgiving and All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day are the SAME DAY (Nov 24). So make sure to bring that banana pudding to Thanksgiving dinner for your Favorite uncle Harry. He will be so confused.
Of course, the day after Thanksgiving day is so very well know! It’s You’re Welcome Day(Nov 25)! Oh. And also Black Friday.
This Sunday, Nov 27th, marks the start of Advent, so Christmas is officially STARTING. Are you ready?
Birthdays this week include:
Frances Hodgson Burnett (Nov 24)
Only one holiday this week, but it’s a great one! It’s French Toast Day on November 28th, so Treat Yo’ Self.
Birthdays this week include:
Jon Stewart (Nov 28), Madeline L’Engle and C.S. Lewis (both Nov 29)