7 Feb
2012

Children’s Authors and Illustrators We Salute You!

Oh. Hello. I didn't see you there.

Welcome to Children's Authors and Illustrators Week!!

If you've ever stepped foot into the wonderland known as Kards Unlimited and walked through our children's  book section you might have realized that we have some of the best in town. Which means someone knows and loves children's lit. If you've ever had a question about children's books and were lucky enough to hear one of our walkie talkie convos you would have realized

  1. We are all insane
  2. We LOVE children's lit
  3. We're actually insane

What I'm going to do is hand this post over to some people who are much better at expressing real thoughts and who say things of worth.

Last years brilliant post - Childrens authors and illustrators week crazy 1800s style! Read it plz!

And here ====>  yes here!  <====

My very good friend the Librarian in the Cupboard has been giving her opinions on these matters for quite some time. She is hilarious and and incredibly knowledgeable and the name of her blog is better than yours.
Peruse it, search old posts, check out new posts. It's a good idea.

And look here at only a sampling of the children's books we have at KU!

[galleryview id=3]

Merry Merry Children's Authors and Illustrators Week to You! 

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6 Feb
2012

KU Valentine’s Day GIFT LIST – Helping You Get Some Since 1968!

"The cutest thing ever...From Roy...A giant teddy bear. Bigger than you. [opens tiny box to reveal miniature teddy bear] Sounds. great...No, no; it really does sound great. Listen, Beth, I gotta go; the Christmas tree's on fire." Guess what this is from without looking it up and I'll go on a date with you and put my mouth on your mouth.

DON'T LET THIS BE YOU!!
Keep Calm.
It's the always annual Kards Unlimited
Valentine's Day
Gift List
!!!

Read this blog! Get ideas. Buy things. Give them. Get some. Good.

Also, if you plan on being single or flying solo you should STILL plan on having a good Valentine's Day. Take your happiness into your own hands. If you catch our drift. Get it?

Sexiness is next to cleanliness as the age old saying goes and rub-a-dub-dub there's a lot more than cleaning that you can do in the tub.

Get to your Valentine's heart by telling them they should take a sexy bubble bath. But be careful not to invite yourself too presumptiously.  Also be careful not to act like you want them to do it by themselves. Be boldly subtle...figure it out.

Whether you're getting it as a gift to be used together or just to help your sweet heart relieve some stress these make the perfect VDay gift. I have a headache will never be a viable excuse again.

Looking for a way to stay hot on Valentine's Day? Why not turn your tub into a cherry scented sexy time grotto! Put in one of these Bath Fizzy's and prepare yourself for a very seductive soak.

That's right, your favorite witty soaps are back with a vengeance just in time for Valentine's Day! Perfect for those flying solo, friends, recently single, people needing a laugh and older women hunting young men.

Steamy Book Nook, aka Non-Conventional Love Stories.

Looking to curl up on Valentine's Day with a love story that doesn't involve Fabio or your typical boy-girl let's fall in love in Victorian England, New York City or Paris plot? Then grab some of these non-conventional love stories that simultaneously enthrall and make you wish you had to choose between your dreamy hunting buddy and your ever sweet partner in a fight to the death. So romantic!

And remember what they say: Dystopian futures are the new vampires!

Example: The Hunger Games. I'm obsessed.

So maybe dystopian angsty love filled futures aren't your thing. Maybe you like your lit a little more lecherous, or not lit-like at all.

These are for you!

You know what they say, the couple the reads pornographic pop up books together, stays together! So why not spice up your Valentine's Day reading list? It could do you some good. Also good present for single folk. You know what I mean.

Two collections of sexy time-wasters for those moments spent recovering between sessions. Because whats better than using your brain and your junk or lady bits at the same time?

Oh how frequently these two go together. Two peas in a drunken naked mistake pod.

An aphrodisiac cookbook. Why wait until after dinner this Valentine's Day to get hot and heavy? The economy is still no good. Eat out without spending a dime.

GIRL IMMA GETCHA.
It's massage oil time.

We've all wanted to recreate the hot candle scene from Ricky Martin's Livin La Vida Locavideo. Now you can and it can smell rull good and be good for your skin and your sex life!

Kama Sutra gives you every type of massage oil, lotion, etc that you could ever need in every scent and flavor that you didn't even know you wanted. But really come in and check out these massage oil candles. Come light them up and get turned on.

ROM COM Gifts!
Because comedy and love should always go together. Like wam-a-lama something something.

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if a glory hole and a story book about your penis had a love child? Well wonder no more, because Penis Pokey has arrived and your penis is the star! Provide some phallic comedy this V-Day! But remember to keep it clean after with our I <3 My Penis hand sani -or wait- was that slutty?

What do you give the person who has everything for Valentine's Day? An adorable vintage looking printed tin full of condoms?  A place to store their drugs?  Art supplies? YES.

Cards cards cards! aka Valentines Valentines Valentines!

So we sell cards at Kards. The perfect Valentine's Day card is a MUST if you want to succeed.
So we're devoting another whole blog post to JUST CARDS!

TUNE IN FOR A SPECIAL WEEKEND BLOG! That's right. Weekend blog. Blowing your mind.

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31 Jan
2012

February: The Shortest Month With the Biggest Personality

February.
pronounced:  feb-yoo-er-ee.

This month is a wily one let me tell you. Boy scouts and condoms, marijuana and the tooth fairy, "ru"'s in the middle of words and the 29th of February; That black sheep, diamond in the rough, prize at the bottom of your box of cereal.

Be aware. Marijuana. It's everywhere. And pretty much everyone smokes it. Right?

It's Marijuana Awareness Month! I think we have something to say about this. But I guess we'll see if we feel like it when we get there.

Boy Scout Anniversary Week is the 5th through the 11th!

Almost every attempt I've made at saying something about this has resulted in something horribly dirty. There's something wrong with me. Well we have this really neato book about Boy Scouts that is in no way dirty! Happy Birthday Boy Scouts! How old? 102....That's over 18. DAMMIT I COULDNT STOP MYSELF.

Something I can't sully and that we celebrate almost every day at KU is Childrens Authors and Illustrators Week! If you've ever read our blog or come in our store you would have figured out we all know and love our children's lit. This is not the last you'll be hearing of this.

So February 1st kicks off just right with Working Naked Day.

There are so many benefits to working naked. What are some you ask?

  • Think about how many extra minutes of sleep you would get in a week since you wouldn't have to pick out an outfit.
  • Save money on doing laundry or even needing to buy work aprops clothes.
  • You'll feel so relaxed your productivity will sky rocket!
  • Spontaneous bongo playing will occur. I don't know why this benefits anyone, but Matthew McConaughey suggested it.

Downsides:

  • Cold.
  • You're naked.

So I guess we'll have to weigh the pros and cons of this one.

February 2nd is Groundhog day! 

Even if you aren't making it out to Punxsutawney to go hang with your good pal Phil there are still ways to celebrate! Why not get someone a Groundhogz Day card....no one sells them you say? What say you! You are wrong good friend because your favorite neighborhood KU does! Get 'em while they're hawt!

Speaking of getting it while its hot, once again the day before Vday, sometimes affectionately referred to as VD, kicks off National Flirting Week! We're kind of pros at flirting here at KU so this year you're going to get a different mentor to get you through the Hunger Games we call dating...minus all the death....and children...and no one refers to dating as the Hunger Games. But they could!  PS HAPPY ONE YEAR BLOGAVERSARY TO ME! Do we have a card for that? Probz.

Then the next day is good ol' VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Kards Unlimited will be unveiling their ANNUAL VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT LIST!!! Not sure what to get for that special someone? Need the PERFECT card? Need to get someone to find you even slightly desirable? WE CAN DO ALL THAT! So keep posted...or be alone forever...JK!LOLZ!

February 18th is Pluto Day, for all of us planetary fans.

The Pluto formerly known as a planet is pretty great despite its demotion.

February also means one of my favorite times of the year:

  • Babies in cakes
  • Booze
  • Boobz
  • Costumes
  • More cake
  • Parades
  • Beads

It’s Mardi Gras!

Since I sadly won’t be attending this year I will be celebrating…

National Margarita Day on the 22nd!!!!

I won’t be able to get my margaritas to go like I was this time last year but I will most certainly do my part to keep this holiday going. Not sure how to make a good margarita? Come on down to our bar book section and get some help. You won’t regret it, you might not even remember it!

Additionally helping those of us now in New Orleans…

Open that Bottle Night on the 25th!

(Same advice for Margarita Day applies.)

And last BUT MOST CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, its an effing LEAP YEAR this year, which means FEBRUARY 29th EXISTS!! What the what?!

The last time we got to indulge in a 29th of February was in 2008. Am I making that up? I don’t think so! REFRESH your memories of 2008.

Look at this movie poster of leap year starring one of my best friends, Amy Adams, and my husband to be, Matthew Goode.

So kiddos, February is jam-packed and I didn’t even tell you what we’re actually going to be blogging about!

The mystery is so magical!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO…..

Ayn Rand: 2th
James Joyce: 2th
George Romero: 4th
Laura Ingalls Wilder: 7th
Charles Dickens: 7th
Seth Green: 8th
John Williams: 8th
Jules Verne: 8th
Thomas Edison: 11th
Judy Blume: 12th
Charles Darwin: 12th
Abraham Lincoln: 12th
Joseph Gordon Levitt: 17th
Alan Rickman: 21th
Anais Nin: 21th
Chopin: 22th
Edna St. Vincent Millay: 22th
Edward Gorey: - 22th
Handel: 23th
Victor Hugo: 26th
Longfellow: 27th

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20 Jan
2012

Warning: This Blog is More Sexual in Nature Than Usual.

And it's Not About Food This Time.

 

Some people like to dip their eggs in their maple syrup at breakfast.
Some people like to salt their apples.
Some people like to watch tv on mute with the closed captioning on.
Some people brush their teeth 8 times a day.
Some people need their socks and their underwear to match.
Some people dont like to wear underwear.
Some people get their jollies from freaky, freaky things.

 

Today is for you my freaky, freaky friends! Tis International fetish day!
So when we think of fetish we think of strange things that people dig sexually whether it be with someone else or by ourselves (we'll get to it being self love month a little later on....) usually with something typically not inherently sexual (but what is inherently sexual??)

 

Let me hit you with the actual definitions of fetish:
a : an object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner; broadly :a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence.
b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

2 : a rite or cult of fetish worshipers

3 : fixation

 

Now urbandictionary:

1: A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object. EX. socks, horses, monkeys, pain, bondage.

Holy sh*t those socks really get me turned on because of this sock fetish of mine. *Rubs socks on body*
2: (The good one) A sexual fixation(s) that usually differs from those of the standard population.
In other words, something (sometimes totally unrelated to sex) that turns you on and that isn't enjoyed by the majority of people.
Foot fetishes, Infantilism, Vore, Macro, Furry, Vampirism, Necro, Bondage, Sadism, Masochism, Slavery... The sky's the limit.

 

SO today rather than talking about some of my favorite fetishes Im going to talk about my personal feelings about fetishes mostly because if I talked about fetishes I don't think I would be allowed to post this. This is a family blog you know. I think that everyone has them. Yes, even you missionary man (take that in as many ways as you can) (ha) (see what I did there) (in like-three different ways)(ha, three different ways) (parentheses are fun). There are a few different ways fetishes get played out. In the same way that port cities made it so the gays could find each other back in the day, the interwebs is the new port city. Say you're really into Styrofoam. Or butter. Or gym shorts. Or classical music. Or feet. Or dressing up like a drag queen gummy bear. Or aqua erotics. Or trains. Or deciduous trees. Or wax. Instead of just praying that someday you meet someone who will whip out that Styrofoam mattress you can google it! Or find someone on craigslist who might not be into it but is into you being into it!

There are even conventions now for people like furries! Thank you, PGH. But the moral is that these people probably found each other on the internet. And now its a thing!

So, there are the people who have fetishes that they find their fellow freak-a-leaks on the internet.

 

There are fetishes that people live with and never talk about but partake in when they're indulging in some self love. HAPPY SELF LOVE MONTH! Celebrate as frequently as possible! I know I have been.

 

There are people who marry that special someone because their fetishes match.

 

Then there fetishes that people repress and become harmful to society. I won't be getting into this because it's a happy blog. I also wont be discussing things that border on fetish but are also punishable by law that should not be indulged in. Just don't do it.

 

Then there are the fetishes that people pay people to partake in with them because they are too ashamed to look on the interwebs for other people into it and would rather have hooker-client confidentiality in place.

 

Yes, hooker-client confidentiality is real.

These are the types of fetishes I love.

 

Way back I read a memoir called I am Not Myself These Days. It made me want to become a hooker who specializes in crazy fetishes because most of these fetishes dont involve actually...you know...doing that thing that people associate with that line of work.

 

There were stories of CEOs hiring escorts to lock them in closets and verbally abuse them for days at a time starving them and feeding them drugs and getting RIDIC money to do it.
I can do that! I can feed someone drugs and verbally abuse them! Its just like college!
Just kidding. Maybe.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XllsfAoGLjQ&feature=player_embedded

I feel like I would be pretty great at fetishes involving food. Or just people watching me eat. As long as I only had to eat vegetarian delights and dessert.

 

Or stalking. I could partake in some light or heavy stalking. I was the first to come of age in the facebook generation. We are taught to stalk. How hard can it be do transfer that to real life?

ps HAPPY STALKING MONTH! Enjoy! And if you dont I'll know....

So kids enjoy international fetish day. Go out this weekend and find yourself some lovin that gets your goat. But please don't get a goat.
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10 Jan
2012

Tea and All That Goes with It is an Art.

I am a sophomore at art school who has an undying, throbbing love of tea. But, as a sophomore Ive lost that d-baggy-I- know-more-about-tea-than-you ,lay person who doesn't drink tea, mentality and Im now completely aware of how much I dont know about tea the more I learn about it and the more I drink it. I am humble. I am obsessed. I want it all the time and I will talk to you about it in the common room until 4am.

 never used to like tea. I used to think it was bitter, pointless and only good for old women. Much like how many view me now. Or maybe how I view myself now. Both? Either way I was not a fan. Tea was just tea. I knew it came in different colors like green and black and sometimes it was english and it was good for sore throats. People put lemon or honey in it. It tasted like bland ass unless it was iced and sugared. Iced tea was a delight. I would drink pitchers upon pitchers of iced tea throughout every season. Hot tea though? No bueno.

I don't know exactly when my love affair with tea started. I think it was probably in college when I started experimenting with....life things. Chai was a gateway drug. It started with chai lattes. Then straight chai. Then from there I started looking into the other 80 million flavors and types of tea. My pallet was starting to get wise. I never drank coffee and I wouldn't drink anything other than water because I was insane and if it had more calories than water it was too much for me, so tea was perfect. From spiced teas I moved onto herbal teas. Green teas. In Argentina, tea became a huge part of my life. It was social. My landlord would have us over for tea. I would get tea in various cafes throughout the day both hot and cold. Passing around yerba matte a few times during the day is part of the culture there. I wasn't a huge matte person but I started widening my tea scope and taking time to enjoy it throughout the day. Also, working in a cement office with no heat in the dead of winter really made me appreciate tea while it was still hot. Constantly traveling toward the end, I started pouring hot water over cinnamon and making my own poor girl teas. Prior to that I was a tea at night or tea in the morning but not really throughout the day kind of person. I started taking my tea with a little milk, occasionally some sugar if I was feeling saucy. I started savoring my tea. I started getting into different teas for healing different ailments. Stress relievers, sleepy time teas, balance your lady hormones tea, tea for your liver, tea for good cell regeneration. My dad was a pusher of eastern medicine and herbal teas so tea as a healer was always part of my definition of tea.

Loose leaf, bags, unbleached bags, proper mugs, thermoses sent from the heavens, brewing systems: tea, like anything wonderful, has accessories galore. Keeping tea hot if hot tea is what you want can change your life. I frequently nurse my beverages so I was used to drinking tea hot in the beginning and luke warm toward the end. When tea stays hot all day...when it fogs up your glasses when you go to sip it even though you made it hours ago ITS MAGICAL. Hot, properly steeped has the ability to put me in a good mood even when I catch a bit of Sad Dollism.  Tea with cookies and cakes or little sandwiches, tea by itself, tea with honey or fancy honey, tea with sugar, tea with milk, cream or almond milk, Red teas, white teas, ROOIBOS (my recent favorite) black teas, herbal teas, flowering teas, green teas, herbal teas, flavored teas. There are so many options to staying warm and fuzzy inside.

If you're already a big tea fan we have a few different brands in every flavor you could ever imagine. If you're looking to get yout tea knowledge on or plan some hot tea parties we have some pretty fabulous books for you to check out! If you're looking to get converted you can pretty much talk to anyone who works at KU and we can help you find your path to tea loving. Plus its winter. Come in and pick out your perfect tea or let us help you, find yourself a good book to get into and curl up to stay warm!

HAPPY HOT TEA MONTH!!!

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7 Jan
2012

A Genius in a Nutshell

"Hello, I'm Stephen Hawking. My brain could kick your brain's ass! COME AT ME, BRO!"

Yesterday was the 70th birthday of the one of the greatest men alive, Stephen Hawking. For a man who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease at the age of 21, a disease that claims most lives only a few years after diagnosis, He's done pretty well for himself. He's the Director of Research at the Institute for Theoretical Cosmology at Cambridge (and  former Lucasian Professor of Mathematics), holds 12 honorary degrees, a CBE, is a fellow of the Royal Society, a Member of the US National Academy of Science, holds the Presidential Medal of Freedom (which is the highest civilian award in the US), wrote a few little books (you may have heard of them, A Brief History of TimeThe Universe in a NutshellThe Grand Design), has appeared on such shows as The Simpsons and Star Trek: The Next Gen, and is one of the most brilliant theoretical physicist this side of Einstein.

In my research for this blog, I've discovered that a lot of people don't realize that Stephen is British. That is mainly because of the the computer he uses for his speaking voice. He's said, "One's voice is very important. If you have a slurred voice, people are likely to treat you as mentally deficient. This synthesiser is by far the best I have heard, because it varies the intonation, and doesn't speak like a Dalek. The only trouble is that it gives me an American accent." LOLZ! Oh Stephen, you crack me up!

For his 70th Birthday, there was a symposium held in his honor. Unfortunately, he was too ill to attend but watched it being streamed live... in fact anyone could watch the webcast! I missed it but I'm hoping it'll be transferred online soon.

Hawking in Zero G... I'm so freaking jealous!

Did you know that in 2007, Stephen Hawking came close to his dream of space travel by trying out zero gravity? After he landed, he said "Space, Here I Come!"

ecently he told New Scientist magazine that there is only one enduring mystery of the universe he has found impossible to crack: Women.

Stephen Hawking: Ladies Man

Also, when asked 'If you were a young physicist just starting out today, what would you study?' He replied "I would have a new idea that would open up a new field." Oh, that Mr. Hawking, always hamming it up!

Stephen is currently accepting applications for a graduate assistant... IIIIIEEEEEE!!!!! Instead of filling out the standardized application form, I decided to creatively express my qualifications through the exquisite art of stick figure drawing...

I think I got a good chance of getting an interview... Finger's crossed!

I think one of the most important things that Stephen has done is to make physics comprehensible to the masses. Just about everyone I know has a copy of A Brief History of Time. How understandable does he make science seem? Here's a video of kids recapping one of his articles on time travel...

So, Happy Birthday Mr. Hawking! Thank you for sharing your powerful and expansive mind with the us. We are lucky to be granted the privilege of living in your time.

Ahhhh Yeah!

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5 Jan
2012

Twelfth Night; or, What You May Perhaps Kinda Sorta Will

The wassail began to go to their heads... and then things got weird.

I'll admit, when I hear the words Twelfth Night, I immediately think of Shakespeare's comedy Twelfth Night; or What You Will. Little did I know that Twelfth Night was actually a holiday in it's own right.

On Twelfth Night, you celebrate the end of the holiday season, and in the Catholic religion, this also marks the beginning of Carnival. In medieval England, that meant partying like it was1599. It was it's own mini-mardi gras kick off party! There was food, drink, self-indulgence (hmmm, sounds like most weekends at my house) and general merry making. Twelfth Night is a night of reversals, at the beginning of the night, a cake would be made that would contain one bean, and the person who ended up with that bean would be the ruler of the feast for the night. This is where the tradition of the Mardi Gras King Cake hails from. Catholics also recognize Twelfth Night as being the Eve of the Epiphany, which was the day a certain baby in a manger received a visit from some traveling genius's, who gave him some wicked awesome gifts. (I think that's how the story goes, it's been quite awhile since my catechism classes)

Seriously, Balthazar, we've passed that star 5 times already. I'm pulling over and asking for directions!"

Shakespeare wrote Twelfth Night; or, What You Will as Twelfth Night entertainment. The play focuses on the theme of reversals: a woman pretending be a man, a steward thinking that he could be a nobleman, etc. Shakespeare had planned on just calling the comedy What You Will, but as happens too often, a play with the same title premiered while Shakespeare was writing his. So I'm sure Shakespeare said "Eff this, I'll stick Twelfth Night on the front and call it done." And so it was.

Oh Shakespeare, you so funny!

Some people see Twelfth Night as the night to take down Christmas decorations. Supposedly, it's bad luck to keep them up after the 6th. I don't know about you, but I didn't get my decorations up until Christmas Eve eve. No way I'm taking them down now! They'll stay up until my potted Christmas tree dies from dehydration... last year, I believe that was April.


Now THAT'S what I call dedication!

So, if you're not too tired from Christmas and New Year's parties, why not celebrate Twelfth Night? Keep that buzz going... like you need an excuse! ^_^

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2 Jan
2012

Hold Onto Your Knit Hats. It’s January Again!

If you're reading this it means none of us are dead yet.....

JUST KIDDING!
Fake Mayan Doomsday isn't until December 21, 2012 so you have a whole year to keep reading our blog and chuckling heartily to yourself in front of your computer! You're welcome.
January might have some of the most spectacular eccentric holidays all year in addition to the regular amount of cool kid birthdays. What a great way to start the year!

 

We are getting hot in hurr if you catch my drift. Three ways.  Oh three ways.
No not those three ways. There are three ways we're getting hot in here this month of January! Enero. The month of Janus the Roman god of doors and gates the MOST INTERESTING GOD OF ALL. Kind of.
If there is one thing we know about and love and talk too much about it would be tea. We love tea. We love our tea hot (unless its iced tea season). We like our tea to stay hot. We maybe each now have really intense thermoses that we carry around all day and brag about how hot our tea still is. We like our tea so hot and delicious and perfectly steeped. So it's only right that we are celebrating
!!National Hot Tea Month!!
We love to drink tea.
We love all teas .
You like loose leaf? We have it!
You need a diffuser? Oh yes we have those!
You like bagged tea? WE HAVE ZILLIONS. Have you seen our tea selection lately?
No? But you want to? Okay!
Reds, blacks, greens, flavors of all kinds. Oh. My.
Secret sharing time: I am currently obsessed with our Almond Vanilla Tea . Sometimes I put a spot of vanilla almond milk in it.
More on tea another day...

 

Next keeping us hot as you know what-one of my other favorite things in the entire world:
SOUP
National Soup Month Y'all.
What is greater than taking good flavor combinations and blending them together with other great flavors to make something so steamy and soul warming and delectable and so easy that you don't even have to chew it?
There is nothing.

 

National Oatmeal Month!
Oatmeal is one of the few reasons I wake up in the winter.
But seriously.

 

Public Radio Broadcasting Day: The 13th
Remember that time this happened?
Yes, that was a KU shoutout on the facebook from NPR.
Jealous?
You should be.

 

National Mail Order Gardening Month!!
Not what you usually get mail order, but just as exciting for some of our gardening extraordinaires.
January is the month for planning!

 


Let's stop and sleuth for some "coincidences":
- International Fetish Day 20th
- National Stalking Awareness Month
- Self Love Month
- Appreciate a Dragon Day 16th
- Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day - 24th
- Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
Any coincidence that all of these happen in January....?
I THINK NOT KIND SIR!
Don't you see the connection between all of them?
This guy most definitely does.

 

January Birthdays:

JRR Tolkien:  3th
Cary Grant: 18th
 AA Milne: 18th
Mozart: 27th
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