2012
Tina Fey Time!
Oh Tina Fey, you are one of the funniest, most intelligent, and hottest celebs on the market at this moment. I have to say I rarely refer to those media hyped sub-humans we call celebrities as ‘intelligent’ or truly comical, but I think Fey has something the others don’t…a serious sense of humor and the ability to laugh at herself. Read some of her responses to ‘fan’ letters. They will change your life.

She's such a cutie!
NUMBER ONE
Posted by Sonya in Tx
“When is Tina going to do something about that hideous scar across her cheek??”
Dear Sonya in Tx,
Greetings, Texan friend! (I’m assuming the “Tx” in your screen name stands for Texas and not some rare chromosomal deficiency you have. Hope I’m right about that!)
First of all, my apologies for the delayed response. I was unaware you had written until I went on tmz.com to watch some of their amazing footage of people in L.A. leaving restaurants and I stumbled upon your question.
I’m sure if you and I compare schedules we could find a time to get together and do something about this scar of mine. But the trickier question is What am I going to do? I would love to get your advice, actually. I’m assuming you’re a physician, because you seem really knowledgeable about how the human body works. What do you think I should do about this hideous scar? I guess I could wear a bag on my head, but do I go with linen like the Elephant Man or a simple brown paper like the Unknown Comic? Too many choices, help!
Thank you for your time. You are a credit to Texas and Viking women both.
Yours,
Tina
P.S. Great use of double question marks, by the way. It makes you seem young.

Dream come true!
NUMBER TWO
Posted by Centaurious
“Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll.”
Dear Centaurious,
First let me say how inspiring it is that you have learned to use a computer.
I hate for our correspondence to be confrontational, but you have offended me deeply. To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I’ll leave it for others to say if I’m the best, but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask three questions, at least two of which are riddles.
As for “ugly, pear-shaped, and bitchy”? I prefer the terms “offbeat, business class–assed, and exhausted,” but I’ll take what I can get. There’s no such thing as bad press!
Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.
Affectionately,
Tina
She’s so gracefully skilled with cynicism! Oh how I admire you sweet Tina, I aspire to be as quick as you. To rip jerks new one’s with such ease, to eliminate my enemies and critics in an intellectual crossfire.
Have you read Bossypants? Have you experienced the amazing-ness of this book? I’m secretly reading it right now, I’m secretly sitting here reading the funniest book I have dived into in some time. There are so many things I want to tell you about this book, so many passages to quote. I’ll start with my favorites! WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

Sold here at KU!
I just read, SECRETLY READ, Fey’s Honeymoon story from Bossypants. I laughed for the full 15 minutes it took to read the thing. It was amazingly funny and well written. GOD, who knew she could write sketches, perform them well, be such a damn cutie and have a propensity for comedic writing in book form? I may have found my Penguin at last! Wonder if she’s Jewish?
At one point in the book Fey is describing her enchanting but doomed honeymoon. She’s on a cruise to a Bermuda when an oil line in the engine room catches fire and the ship is evacuated to the deck. “Another voice comes over the PA, repeating, “please, remain calm. Please proceed to your muster station.
“The German half of me is thinking, “Shove the old people out of the way. Shove the old and the infirm! If they are strong enough to resist you, they deserve to live.”

Sometimes sexuality is messy...
When she talks about anything my heart melts and I awkwardly giggle uncontrollably. Ask anyone who passed by Kards today whilst I was writing this blog. I was giggling over Bossypants slash Tina Fey videos for approximately 16 hours.
I love when she talks about her daughter, I love that she’s pregnant again and due really soon! DIS MAH GURL. I actually can’t stop reading Bossypants, it’s intelligent and hilarious at the same time. You should pick up a copy as soon as you possibly can. I can only leave you with this example of her amazing-ness. Hungry Bitches

You my gurl.
2012
Drink Up Yinz, It’s Craft Beer Week!
American Craft Beer Week started the 14th and runs through the 20th! Obviously you can support your beer independence all year long by drinking craft beer, but this week is a true celebration of it! Beer is a lot easier to make than you think. Last time I went home I found out that my dad had turned my old room into a brewery that he referred to as “the nursery”. Not only is it a cool skill to learn but it’s a skill that wields delicious results! We’re big fans of DIY drinking (and maybe drinking in general) at KU and of supporting the little guy so Craft Beer really floats our boat! Check out some of the goods we’ve got to help you get into the spirit. Get it? See what I did there?
2012
National Bike to Work Week!
It’s Bike to Work Week! A time dedicated to biking, kissing boys on bikes and reducing our carbon footprints!
Why not take a break from the oh-so-stressful life of automobiles and hop on a bike for a change?

He's not too happy in the car
Ride Your Bike to Work Week is all about caring, and sharing the road with cyclists who are usually SEXI. SEXI CYCLISTS. Yes please. Dear world, boys and ladies who ride bikes are sexier, nicer and more tatted than you. So for a few days lets pretend we’re just as cool and ride to work or play, on our bikes.

I need one of these
This a whole blog may seem like its dedicated to cute boys on bikes but don’t be fooled, this is just a perk of riding to work! And they just happen to be a few of my favorite things combined!

They are leap froggin right over my heart!
Biking is a fun and healthy way to both improve the environment and stay healthy and fit! This week is a great opportunity to experiment with cycling. Throw on a pack, snap that helmet in place and begin the journey of a lifetime!
Marry me?
Wel,l my sweets, what else could I possibly say about this week? Its amazing, its a great way for me to meet cute dudes with tats on bikes. Oh gosh cute boy! I’m not sure how to work this bicycle contraption! Help me slash cuddle me! Weird…

I would like to kiss you on a bike plz
2012
My Mother’s Favorite Mothers’ Day
Cresheim Creek, at its widest, is maybe 15 feet across, and averages a foot or so deep. It separates my neighborhood in Philadelphia from the next one to the northwest, and empties into the Wisshickon, which flows to the Schuylkill, then the Delaware, then the Atlantic. All told, the Cresheim is only 2 and a half miles long. About a ten minute walk away from the house I grew up in the Cresheim turns away from the road it’s been following, making a corner around an abandoned hunting lodge, and into Fairmount Park. This is where, on a Mothers’ Day a decade ago, my family walked into the woods. 
We had for years risen early on Mothers’ Day to make pancakes and eggs while my mom was still asleep, and presented them to her while she was still in bed. Traditional, yes, but essentially boring. This year, now that my brother and I were a little older, we wanted to mix it up. My mother was a nature person; hikes in the woods were a common occurrence, but had become less frequent as my brother became more of a surly teenager and I finally made a friend, so this was our present to her. The day was perfect — the few clouds in the sky were painted-on white pillows, and the sunlight filtered through the canopy to give the forest that soft green ambience that you see in Natural Geographic photography. There was, if I remember correctly, a slight breeze, and the lovely cool in the shade was occasionally broken up by shafts of light between trees.
We followed the creek down to its confluence with the Wissahickon. I was young, and invigorated by the beautiful day. I skipped back and forth across the water along rocks, trying to avoid the slippery ones and feeling wonderfully agile. My brother kept closer to the path, but wandered slowly up and down the valley slope along the side. My parents brought up the rear, strolling leisurely and petting the various dogs being walked that day. After a spell we wandered up a hill to where a street looped into the park, and met with a chinese food delivery car. We sat on some logs and ate fried rice.
That was my mother’s favorite Mothers’ Day.
2012
Mother’s Day
Oh mothers day, you may be expecting a silly and weird blog from this nifty Miss…but honestly people, I love my mom and this blog will be dedicated to all phenomenal mothers, especially mine.
I have this very distinct but simple memory of my mother that I keep in the back of my happy thoughts, saved for problematic moments. It involves one of my quirks. Most days I wake up in the early morning hours, my mind a whirring mess of thoughts and concerns. I jump up from my bed because mindless voices begin to relentlessly shout inside of my head for me to fix problems, watch money, feel guilt, plan my future etc etc. It’s the same every time, and sometimes I can calm myself, but this one particular morning the whirring was especially loud.
I felt guilty and scared and upset at the same time, for no particular reason. I couldn’t pin down the thing that was nagging at my brain. I crept down the back stairs into the kitchen in search of anything that could possibly chase the nagging guilt from my thoughts.
I remember looking out the window into the backyard, the sun just touching the tip of the old blue garage. I tip toed into the kitchen and suddenly caught a glimpse of my mother on the back porch. She had a cup of tea in hand and was wrapped in her mauve night gown. She smiled and whispered a good morning, my heart had been beating so fast only now did I realize what I needed to calm my nerves, what I always find comfort in. 
I climbed onto the old rickety plastic covered chair beside her, put my head on her shoulder and sighed. My panic disappeared, my heart settled to its normal pace. We sat and watched the sun rise and all was still, my mind calm.
This is only one example of the amazingness of my mother. She has this incredible ability to, make me feel more human. The last time she came to visit me in Pittsburgh I had this insane realization. My mother has somehow transformed into my best friend? Crazy how that can happen.
I hope you appreciate your mother today, I hope you appreciate your mother every day. Think back on the simple memories, those are sometimes the most magical.
2012
Last Minute Mom Gifts!
So tomorrow is the big day! Whether you are looking to add a few more things to your Mother’s Day gift or you’re just starting, we’ve got one more last minute gift list for you! Books, bath, booze and candles! Really there are few other things anyone needs!
2012
Whats Cookin’ Good Lookin’- Mother’s Day Edition!
There are those who might think that getting someone a kitchen related gift for Mother’s Day is stereotypical and boringville. I used to be one of these people UNTIL I started working at KU and saw our incredible cookbook section. Then, last Mother’s Day we received aprons that were so beautiful I gave serious thought to buying a couple and turning them into dresses. My no-cookbooks and aprons for Mother’s Day grinchy heart grew three sizes that day! Now all I want to do is buy cookbooks for everyone including myself! If food is love our cookbook selection would be …a mix of every romantic movie ever made and some erotic fiction thrown in there because it’s THAT DARN GOOD. So check out our slideshow and remember – this is only a sampling of our smorgasbord.
2012
In Memory of Maurice Sendak
We are sad to hear of the passing of one of our favorite humans. We look back on an ode we wrote for him in 2011:
Ok before I get started, we need to get something adorable out of the way. Something that will bias you into loving this man like I do.
This is Sendak’s dog Herman. NAMED AFTER HERMAN MELVILLE. SITTING ON A WILD THINGS RUG. I KNOW. IT’S AMAZING. It’s true. It’s all true. The dog. The Melville. The rug. It’s all true.
He was once quoted in an interview on PBS about Melville, “My gods are Herman Melville, Emily Dickenson, Mozart. I believe in them with all my heart.” IKNOWRITE. Swoon. For being a children’s book author, he’s not really…child-like…so to speak. He attributes this difference between himself and other typical children’s book authors–especially when he started out–to his Jewish European background. In an interview with Npr’s Jennifer Ludden, he remembers the many bedtime stories about Jewish friends and relatives dying horrible deaths and how it gave him insomnia, as well as a sense that he could never really be joyful in the presence of his parents without feeling guilty. WOMPWOMP. When Wild Things came out, parents and librarians freaked out because they thought it was too scary, little did they know Sendak’s favorite thing to do is scare children. True story. Same interview.
Ok so are you ready to hear the most beautiful thing ever? I can’t wait. I’m doing it now. I’m playing my trump card.
“I picked a modest form…I didn’t have a lot of confidence, I hid inside this modest form called the children’s book and expressed myself entirely. I wasn’t going to paint, I wasn’t going to do ostentatious drawings, I wasn’t going to have gallery pictures, I was going to hide somewhere where nobody could find me.”
CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG.
This is from an interview with Bill Moyers, YOU NEED to watch it. It’s only 17 mins. Here, DO IT. And if you want to hear him call Mickey Mouse a whore, listen to this interview. He used to be obsessed with Mickey, in fact was inspired to draw because of Fantasia, and has an incredible collection of Mickey shiz.
He even wrote Walt Disney a letter asking him to adopt him, but never heard back. He has since become disillusioned with Disney, hence the whore comment.
WHERE THE WILD HORSES ARE
I’m sorry. I’m not sure you heard me. Let’s try that again. The original title of Where the Wild Things Are was
WHERE THE WILD HORSES ARE
But here’s the best part. He then realized he COULDN’T DRAW HORSES. I’m sorry. I’m not sure you heard me.
HE REALIZED HE COULDN’T DRAW HORSES
That’s pretty much adorable.
Oh and get this. This is messed up. His book, ‘Outside, Over There’ published in 1981, is a story about a girl who resents her baby sister and then the baby gets stolen by goblins and she has to go into the goblin world to rescue her. Now let me tell you about a movie called Labyrinth from 1988. It’s a story about a girl who resents her baby brother and the the baby gets stolen by goblins and she has to go into the goblin world to rescue him. I don’t think you heard me. A story about a girl….ok i won’t.
2012
For the Moms with the Green Thumbs
So your mom (or any lady you’ll be celebrating this Sunday) likes to spend a lot of time in the great outdoors. Maybe has her own garden or maybe she just likes to throw a little water on a plant in the windowsill from time to time. No matter what her pleasure we’ve got something for her! Check out the slideshow!
2012
We LIVE for Children’s Book Week!
Ok, so children’s books usually make me do one of two things: cry or laugh, much like my two reactions to wasabi. So I’m going to tell you about my new favorite cry and laugh tales in honor of Children’s Book Week, which is weird, because we really like to talk about the classics. A lot. But the new kids on the block are pretty cool too and we thought we’d introduce you in case you hadn’t met, so that at the next party you go to you can impress people. You should make sure to have one of these AMAZINGLY AWESOME FREE BOOKMARKS YOU SEE ABOVE because we are also amazing and awesome. It’s how we roll. Start your child off on the right path by teaching them NOT TO DOG EAR PAGES! Now there are staff who vehemently disagree with me and think it’s ok to deface the written word with a painful and cruel crease, BUT THIS IS MY BLOG AND I DO WHAT I WANT. Ok now that you know where I stand on bookmarks, (I know it was keeping you up at night) let’s get down to gold safety pins. I mean brass tacks. WORD PLAY! GOTCHA! That’s the kind of fun you can have reading kids books, because children’s book authors are the wisest, clever-est, best-est thinkers in the whole wide world and although you think their grammar is simple and sometimes nonsensical, their words are some of the truest ever written. Despite my ability to run-on, I think brevity is beautiful. I like to pack in in. (Ew.) Children’s book author’s are the best at this; they manage to take all the big heavy meaningful stuff and put it through the sieve that is the heart of a child. As we grow up, we just complicate things with language. So without further ado…
The Heart and Bottle by Oliver Jeffers
The cover of this book is enough reason to crack it open. BUT HERE’S THE THING. THIS IS A SECRET SO COME CLOSER….so this isn’t the ACTUAL cover. The actual covers we had were torn so we undressed them and THIS was underneath! Why you would cover up this cover with a cover is just crazy talk. So, we’ve decided to display it as such. It’s like you’re on drugs. fun for you AND the kids! But seriously the cover rules. It’s got space, whales, squirrels, elephants, Buckingham Palace Guards, bees on fire, yes i said bees on fire, and yellow duckies. Ya that’s just the cover. It begins with illustrations of the many curiosities in a little girl’s head; in one of my favorite images she is under the water passing by a whale and the little speech bubble says, “oh, hello” and another favorite is a ship falling off the edge of the world. BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE BEES ON FIRE. BUT WAIT I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BEST PART…THE WWUUURRDDDSSS! And the point they make in sentence form. Some like to call it the lesson, the moral of the story, the point, if you will. You might cry. I may have cried. If we’re being honest here. And I think we are. I’ll just say this; any story that reminds adults to be child-like is…..wait hold on…crying again…ok …any story that reminds us what our hearts were like when we were small is my kind of story. This is one of those books ; that transcends age; it’s for all of us. YAY!
Leon and the Place Between by Grahame Baker-Smith
“With a ripple of gold braid, the curtains slowly parted… Leon could smell the magic”
“Where am i? asked Leon.
“This is the place between,” said the boy.
“Between what?”
“Between there and back again. This is the place where magic sends you.”
Hold on i’m crying, I just finished this.
Ok. I’m ok. Let’s talk. This is a book that has that Peter Pan-esque “if you believe” vibe AND it has absurdly gorge illustrations so it’s a win win. The cover is what first drew me in, (because you know, that’s how that works) but the story kept me there. My favorite part about this story is that instead of a special girl or boy experiencing an adventure (whoch does happen) Leon assures his friends that anyone can go where he went, as long as they believe. SOBBBBB.
Then there is the stunning “Snow Rabbit, Spring Rabbit” by Il Sung Na:
This is a simple yet lovely tale about the changing of the seasons. A cute bunny peeks in on various animals as they hibernate or migrate and its terribly sweet and beautifully illustrated.
Don’t like crying or being swept off your feet by the wonder of a beautifully written children’s book but do enjoy laughing at sometimes cold and harsh reality of karma? Then check out the adorable, no gimmicks tale “I Want My Hat Back” by Jon Klasson.
This was a wonderful surprise for us when we read it; word spread through the unbreakable KU grape-vine to check it out and check it out we did. Now we are spreading the word to you! Voted one of the 10 Best Illustrated Books of 2011 by the NyTimes, its illustrations are clean and simple. If you want something different, check this AHT. See also: “Walter the Farting Dog”, and “Poop”.
Tell us your favorites!


















May 18, 2012 at 9:52 am
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Kards Unlimited 24 more boo dogs on their way! We'll let you know as soon as they're in!
May 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm