21 Mar
2017

And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul!

March 21st is Inter­na­tion­al Day of Forests, which has hon­est­ly got to be one of the best and most impor­tant days ever imple­ment­ed by the U.N. Here’s a link to the Wiki arti­cle, if you’re inter­est­ed in the bor­ing tech­ni­cal stuff that they do.

I want to go to here.

Forests are amaz­ing.  I have loved them since I was a kid, explor­ing what I per­ceived as the rugged wilder­ness of my grand­par­ents’ sub­ur­ban back­yards.  And while I grew to under­stand that the small stretch of woods between prop­er­ties in Hamp­ton Town­ship did not con­sti­tute a forest, I have yet to out­grow my awe of, con­nec­tion to, or love of, wood­ed areas.

Mmm, trop­i­cal rain­forest. Yes, please.

Did you know that 80% of Earth’s ter­res­tri­al bio­di­ver­si­ty is found in forests?  And that while trop­i­cal rain­forests cov­er only 10% of the Earth’s sur­face, more than half of all ter­res­tri­al species are thought to live there?  And don’t be fooled by the phrase “thought to” in that sen­tence.  Half is prob­a­bly a sig­nif­i­cant under­es­ti­mate, since new species are being dis­cov­ered all the time, and many of the rain­forests through­out the world remain large­ly unex­plored.

Tem­per­ate Rain­forests are total­ly rad, you guys.

Also! When peo­ple hear the word rain­forest, they usu­al­ly think of the jun­gles of the trop­ics, but did you know that there are rain­forests right here in the USA?! On the West Coast of the USA and Canada is what’s known as a tem­per­ate rain­forest, stretch­ing from Kodi­ak Island in Alaska to North­ern Cal­i­for­nia.  Tem­per­ate rain­forests are also found on the south­ern tip of South Amer­i­ca, in Aus­tralia, North­west­ern Europe, and North­east­ern Asia.

Though most peo­ple think of leop­ards as com­ing only from warm cli­mates like the African Savan­nah, the Amur Leop­ard is native to a region of Siberia that boasts exter­me­ly harsh win­ters.

Prob­a­bly the coolest forest, though, is the taiga.  Taiga refers to the bio­me found just below the tun­dra at the Earth’s north pole.  There’s not real­ly south­ern taiga because Antarc­ti­ca is sur­round­ed by oceans, but the Arc­tic region is sur­round­ed on a few sides by North Amer­i­ca and Asia, and the land below the Arc­tic Cir­cle is home to the taiga. Taiga is char­ac­ter­ized by thick forests of ever­green, most­ly conif­er­ous trees, and weath­er pat­terns that can most eas­i­ly be described as tun­dra-lite.  Win­ters are long and sev­ere, sum­mers short and mild.  Despite the harsh liv­ing con­di­tions, though, the taiga is still home to plen­ty of awe­some plants and ani­mals.  The Asian taiga is home to the Siberi­an Tiger and the Amur Leop­ard, two of the rarest big cats in the world.  The taiga also con­tains approx­i­mate­ly one third of all the trees in the entire world, and pro­duces about one quar­ter of the oxy­gen we breathe.

Come to the woods, for here is rest. There is no repose like that of the green, deep woods.” — John Muir

Basi­cal­ly what I’m say­ing, peo­ple, is that forests are total­ly amaz­ing and are prob­a­bly the best thing on this entire plan­et of Earth.  With the way things are going, it’s like­ly that the entire con­cept of forests is going to rad­i­cal­ly be chang­ing in the next 50 years or so, so take the oppor­tu­ni­ty now to expe­ri­ence forests as they are, and may­be par­tic­i­pate in some of the ways that peo­ple are try­ing to pre­serve and pro­tect them.

Here’s anoth­er one of the taiga, because it’s awe­some.

You can learn more about the Unit­ed Nations’ Day of Forests efforts here.

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18 Mar
2017

You Are Special To Me: Happy Birthday, Mr. Rogers!

An Ode to Mr. Rogers

March 20 is Won’t You Be My Neigh­bor Day, in hon­or of the one, the only Mr. Rogers’s birth­day! Gen­er­a­tions of chil­dren grew up lis­ten­ing to the sooth­ing voice of Fred Rogers on his pub­lic broad­cast­ing tele­vi­sion pro­gram, Mis­ter Rogers’ Neigh­bor­hood, which ran from 1968 to 2001. For mil­lions of chil­dren like me, Fred Rogers was much like Mom and Dad; he had no first name. To sug­gest he was more than Mr. Rogers, the cardi­gan-wear­ing, gold­fish-feed­ing friend I vis­it­ed almost every day, would be blas­phe­mous. But as I have learned since mov­ing to Pitts­burgh, Mr. Rogers’ actu­al neigh­bor­hood, he was much more than the man I knew.

Born Fred McFeely Rogers (yes, as in Mr. McFeely, from the Speedy Deliv­ery Ser­vice!), Mr. Rogers had a bachelor’s degree in music com­po­si­tion, was an ordained Pres­by­te­ri­an min­is­ter, and attend­ed Uni­ver­si­ty of Pittsburgh’s Grad­u­ate School of Child Devel­op­ment. He also held 40 hon­orary degrees from col­leges and uni­ver­si­ties across the coun­try. Not one. Not two. FORTY. In 2002, Pres­i­dent George W. Bush pre­sent­ed Mr. Rogers with the high­est civil­ian hon­or in the coun­try, the Pres­i­den­tial Medal of Free­dom, for a career encour­ag­ing the well-being of chil­dren through lessons of kind­ness, com­pas­sion, and learn­ing. He passed away in 2003 at the age of 74, leav­ing behind his wife, Joan­ne, of more than 50 years, two sons, and mil­lions of chil­dren whose child­hoods wouldn’t have been as mag­i­cal with­out him.

If for any rea­son you might want to vis­it Mr. Rogers’ “imag­i­nary” friends, includ­ing Daniel Striped Tiger and King Fri­day the Thir­teen­th (and ‘by any rea­son’ I mean ‘why wouldn’t you?’), they are housed in Pittsburgh’s Children’s Muse­um alongside one of his icon­ic sweaters (which his moth­er knit­ted), and his sneak­ers.

Mr. Rogers, thank you for being our neigh­bor, our men­tor, our friend. Hap­py birth­day, with love.

At Home With Mr. Rogers

Pitts­burghers, nos­tal­gia should be hit­ting you right in the feels, now, and you’re prob­a­bly think­ing ‘Man, I miss Mr. Rogers.’ He may not be around town any­more in per­son, but his spir­it is still alive. It’s always a lit­tle thrilling when a cus­tomer catch­es sight of one of Kards Unlimited’s Mr. Rogers prod­ucts and begins to regale me with a tale of meet­ing, din­ing, or actu­al­ly being a neigh­bor of the Rogers fam­i­ly.

For the rest of us, we can keep Mr. Rogers alive in our own house­holds with offi­cial­ly licensed Mr. Rogers gear. My favorite? Mis­ter Rogers Sweater Chang­ing Mug. Fea­tur­ing all of his most heart­warm­ing quotes, add a warm bev­er­age of choice, and his sweater changes between an icon­ic blue cardi­gan and yel­low cardi­gan. Some days, it’s the lit­tle things that make a per­son feel good, and this touch of mag­ic is a great way to start off the day on the right foot.

Some­times the world can seem like a scary place. Mr. Rogers always had a way of mak­ing his view­ers feel a lit­tle more coura­geous. He taught  us how to be gra­cious for what we have. He knew exact­ly what to say to make life a lit­tle eas­ier. Day to day, I wish there were more peo­ple like him, ready to give me a one-lin­er to help me through a chal­lenge, but he’s still there for me. When I need a boost of con­fi­dence before a meet­ing, I can pull out my Encour­agem­ints. The unbeat­able com­bo of fresh breath and an encour­ag­ing “Why? Because I like you!” calms the nerves. When I’m fac­ing a dead­line at school, noth­ing helps me take notes bet­ter than Mis­ter Rogers’ Neigh­bor­hood sticky notes.

But the great­est gift we have from Mis­ter Fred Rogers will always be the words he left for us. When life gets a lit­tle com­pli­cat­ed, turn to any one of three vol­umes of Mis­ter Rogers wis­dom: Life’s Jour­ney Accord­ing to Mis­ter Rogers, The World Accord­ing to Mis­ter Rogers, and Many Ways to Say I Love You. The­se books prove that, though Mis­ter Rogers may be gone, he will always be our friend.

 

15 Mar
2017

Straighten Up, Richard!

March 15 is Nation­al Penis Day, and let me be the first to tell you, this hol­i­day will grow on you. Both men and wom­en can take time out of their busy sched­ule to appre­ci­ate this above-aver­age day. Men around the world need not hide their man­hood; today is a day of reflec­tion, spec­u­la­tion, and bask­ing in the glo­ry that is your penis. You think with it, you show affec­tion with it, and some­times, if the time is right, you put it in a fresh apple pie.

Your penis deserves to have its veil pulled back and shown what it has accom­plished.  Your penis’s great­est accom­plish­ment is prob­a­bly not get­ting hard when your cute co-work­er dressed up as Hermione for the Hal­loween par­ty, but there have also been penis­es made famous in movies, TV, and even had molds cast of them, pre­serv­ing them forever. Bet you feel pret­ty inad­e­quate.

The cin­e­ma: a won­der­ful world of cul­ture, action, and sym­bol­ism. Where any­thing can be con­sid­ered “art” if you say it is. Some con­sid­er art beau­ti­ful cin­e­matog­ra­phy, oth­ers how well the movie is edit­ed, or the col­or palet­te. But some of the most artis­tic cin­e­mat­ic moments are when an actor hangs dong. Take the clas­sic movie Boo­gie Nights. Mark Wahlberg expos­es what is now known to be a pros­thet­ic penis, but still shocked audi­ences, nonethe­less. And who could for­get when Hodor from HBO’s Game of Thrones let it all hang out, show­ing us the baby arm he’s been hid­ing.  Though this is my per­son­al favorite penis scene in a movie [NSFW].

Now how awe­some would it be if your John­son was cast in plas­ter for every­one to ogle over? Pret­ty frig­gin’ sweet if you ask me. Most of us won’t be so lucky, though, unless you were a rock star in the 60’s and 70’s. If you hap­pen to fall into the lat­ter cat­e­go­ry, there’s a good chance Cyn­thia Plas­ter Cast­er took a mold of your naughty bits. She is a groupie turned artist, tak­ing plas­ter molds of every rock star she came across, most notably Jimi Hen­drix. I can­not think of a bet­ter way I’d want my guy remem­bered; I just hope the plas­ter isn’t too cold.

So, let’s say for your fam­i­ly vaca­tion you want to go some­where that will impress Craig in HR, because his fam­i­ly just went to Den­mark and he won’t shut up about how great it was. You look on Kayak and see flights to Ice­land are pret­ty cheap. You arrive in Reyk­javik, only to have your fam­i­ly com­plain the whole time how cold it is, that the food is weird, and how much longer is this hike? Bunch of ungrate­ful brats. You storm off in a huff and decide to make your own adven­ture in Ice­land. After some brews at one of the many bars in town you stum­ble around until you see a build­ing that catch­es your eye. As you get closer, yes, it does say that. You have found The Ice­landic Phal­lo­log­i­cal Muse­um.

This muse­um has over 200 dif­fer­ent penis­es from land and sea mam­mals that inhab­it Ice­land. I’m not sure you can get any more appre­cia­tive of the penis. The wild world of ani­mal penis­es will tru­ly make you stand back and mar­vel at what Moth­er Nature has given the world to cre­ate with. Though the col­lec­tion was miss­ing a human penis, the founder of the muse­um was deter­mined to find one. I will not go into that sto­ry, though, because there is already a doc­u­men­tary about it called The Final Mem­ber, which chron­i­cles the strange sto­ry of how a human penis end­ed up in the muse­um.

Today is a day to rise up, let it all hang out, and pull out all the stops. There is some­thing pure, uncut about Nation­al Penis Day. It’s like look­ing into your Long John Sil­vers bag and see­ing they gave you extra crab cakes. It’s just a sil­ly lit­tle hol­i­day that has grown into some­thing that all peo­ple can appre­ci­ate, for about sev­en min­utes, may­be ten if you’re lucky. So men, pull out those nut-hug­ger jeans, wear sweat­pants with no under­wear, or put your penis in the fridge for a lit­tle just to see what hap­pens. Enjoy the day, it only comes once a year.

 

9 Mar
2017

I know you think you have a favorite instrument, but you’re probably wrong.

Well, it’s that time of the year again. March 10th marks Inter­na­tion­al Bag­pipes Day!  I know most of us are (obvi­ous­ly) great bag­pipe lovers already, but for any­one out there who has ever thought, “Wow, bag­pipes are total­ly amaz­ing, but I wish I knew more about them!” this post is for you.

The Pitts­burgh Fire­fight­ers Memo­ri­al Pipe Band at a com­pe­ti­tion! (My dad isn’t not in this pho­to…)

Let’s start with some basic bag­pipe facts.

Piper Bill Millin, badass extra­or­di­naire of WWII

  • Bag­pipes were invent­ed in the Near/Middle East, evi­dence sug­gests some time before the Roman era.  The exact time­line is unknown, but ref­er­ences to bag­pipes and bag­pipers are made in ancient Greek plays and Roman writ­ings. There are spo­radic men­tions of the instru­ment in ear­lier texts.
  • Although the Great High­land Bag­pipe of Scot­land is the most wide­ly known bag­pipe in the Eng­lish-speak­ing world, bag­pipes are actu­al­ly fair­ly com­mon across all Indo-Euro­pean coun­tries, with most every region sport­ing sev­er­al exam­ples.  In addi­tion to the Great High­land Bag­pipe, pipes from the British Isles include the Scot­tish Small­pipes, the Bor­der Pipes, the Irish Uil­leann Pipes, and oth­ers. In Europe, instru­ments include the zam­pog­na of Italy, the bin­iou of France, and the Dudel­sack (yes, real­ly) of Ger­many.  There are also bag­pipes indige­nous to India, Iran, Greece, Turkey, Rus­sia, Poland, Nor­way, Swe­den, and pret­ty much every oth­er Euro­pean coun­try you know.
  • Bag­pipes were used on the bat­tle­fields of Scot­land and Eng­land as ear­ly as the 16th cen­tu­ry.  Bag­pipes were used in a man­ner sim­i­lar to the use of the bugle by the cav­al­ries of West­erns, with dif­fer­ent types of tunes to denote march­ing to bat­tle, retreat­ing, reveille, etc. The com­mon­ly known music of the Great High­land Bag­pipes today comes most­ly from the tra­di­tion of mar­tial music; bag­pipe com­pe­ti­tions strong­ly empha­size march­es specif­i­cal­ly.
  • Gra­tu­itous­ly sexy bag­piper? Don’t mind if I do!

    While dif­fer­ent types of bag­pipe vary great­ly in their tones, the instru­ments have an under­ly­ing uni­ty to their sound, which is due to the way they are played.  Almost all bag­pipes con­sist of a chanter, which plays the melody, and at least one drone pipe, which plays a sin­gle note in the back­ground (hence the name). The piper fills the bag with air, either blown in by mouth or pumped in by a bel­lows, and then squeezes the bag, which forces the air through reeds in the pipes, which pro­duces the notes of the instru­ment.

    From Wikipedia (because I tried to say this as con­cise­ly and failed): “The chanter is usu­al­ly open-end­ed, so there is no easy way for the play­er to stop the pipe from sound­ing. Thus most bag­pipes share a con­stant, lega­to sound where there are no rests in the music. Pri­mar­i­ly because of this inabil­i­ty to stop play­ing, tech­ni­cal move­ments are used to break up notes and to cre­ate the illu­sion of artic­u­la­tion and accents. Because of their impor­tance, the­se embell­ish­ments (or ‘orna­ments’) are often high­ly tech­ni­cal sys­tems speci­fic to each bag­pipe, and take many years of study to mas­ter.”

  • Bill Millin, per­son­al piper to Simon Fraser, 15th Lord Lovat, piped British sol­diers ashore at Nor­mandy like a total badass.  After the bat­tle he asked some cap­tured Ger­man snipers why they hadn’t shot him and they told him it was because they thought he had gone insane.  What oth­er instru­ment has a sto­ry like that?! None oth­er.

That’s about enough of the edu­ca­tion­al stuff!  Here are some bag­pipes for you to lis­ten to! Enjoy!

Pipe Major Bri­an Don­ald­son and Willie Mac­Cal­lum, two of the best pipers liv­ing (and two of the nicest peo­ple you’d ever hope to meet!)

The late Pipe Major Alas­dair Gillies, last Pipe Major of the Queen’s Own High­landers, and pos­si­bly the great­est piper of the 20th Cen­tu­ry.  (Also a fan­tas­tic per­son.)

Here’s some Ital­ian bag­pipes!  Wtf?!

Rus­sian Bag­pipes!  Ah!

That’s all from your favorite bag­pipe lover for today!  Haste ye back! <3

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8 Mar
2017

Nevertheless, She Persisted

Yeah, you heard me.

In hon­or of Nation­al Women’s Day, I want­ed to share some super cool cards we just got in that fea­ture badass wom­en. (Well, at least I think they’re cool, I designed them.) It all start­ed with Eliz­a­beth War­ren and what has become a bat­tle cry tak­en up by wom­en all around the globe. The wom­en fea­tured on the­se cards are per­son­al role mod­els of mine, each are strong in their own way.

Princess (and Gen­er­al) Leia Organa. My first role mod­el. I so want­ed to be like her when I grew up, con­fi­dent and take-no-shit atti­tude.

Ellen Rip­ley. Sur­viv­ing xenomorphs   AND mansplain­ing.

Daen­erys Storm­born of House Tar­garyen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt Queen of the… you get the pic­ture.
Also, Moth­er of DRAGONS!

Lady FUCKING Mor­mont!
(I don’t know what her actu­al mid­dle name is, but if it isn’t this, it should be, cause that girl is a stone cold badass.)

Hermione Granger.
There is absolute­ly no way Har­ry Pot­ter would’ve sur­vived with­out her.

Maeve Mil­lay of West­world.
I wish I could be half as smart and cun­ning as this host.

 

Ladies, I salute you. You have, and always will, per­sist.

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4 Mar
2017

ITS GRAMMAR DAY OR IT’S GRAMMAR DAY!?

Your prob­a­bly sit­ting their on you’re couch reed­ing this like, “I’m a native Eng­lish speak­er I don’t knead a lessen in gram­mer.”

If that sen­tence made you want to die on the inside, then this blog is for YOU! Let’s get some things straight though.

First rule of grammar club:

We DO NOT make fun of incorrect grammar usage by someone who speaks English as a second language (ESL) because

you prob­a­bly can’t explain why it’s wrong. I’ve rarely heard some­one laugh at a poor­ly writ­ten sign and say, “HAHAHAHHA MORPHOLOGY STRIKES AGAIN!”

A per­son who uses ESL prob­a­bly knows more about Eng­lish than you do; as a native Eng­lish speak­er we take the rules for grant­ed and don’t ques­tion them, but some­one learn­ing Eng­lish is like “THIS IS THE STUPIDEST LANGUAGE” and in many ways, it is! Remem­ber this old gem?

and this clas­sic:

A lot of the rules we were taught grow­ing up (and by we I mean 30-some­things and above who remem­ber dia­gram­ming sen­tences in grade school. If you were me, it was the BEST! If you were a nor­mal per­son, it was the worst…but if you’re read­ing this, you’re in the for­mer camp).

But here’s the thing (ack! I start­ed a sen­tence with but! Shame!) the rea­sons we were told we couldn’t do cer­tain things are not rel­e­vant any­more. For exam­ple, one of the­se ancient rules is “you must not split an infini­tive.” WHY MUST WE NOT??????? Because (eeek I start­ed a sen­tence with ‘because’!! I FEEL LIKE A MILLENNIAL!!! I’M GONNA STAY UP PAST 9 TONIGHT!!!) Lat­in.  The infini­tive in Eng­lish takes the form ‘to (verb)’ as in “to go”. So when Cap­tain Kirk says “to boldy go” he is split­ting up that sexy infini­tive cou­pling with a moth­er­fuck­ing adverb. WTF amirite? Here’s the thing though, in Lat­in, “to go” is only one word, “ire”…BUT WE DON’T SPEAK LATIN ANYMORE.

{Can I side track to nerd town for a sec? K thanks. Before I went to grad­u­ate school for Speech Lan­guage Pathol­o­gy I had to brush up on some basics, but I real­ized that the­se basics weren’t exact­ly basic to your aver­age native Eng­lish speak­er. I fell so deeply mad­ly in love with my Pho­net­ics text­books (and teacher, ahem) and as a result fell so SO back in love with lan­guage.

Get­ting out­side the realm of gram­mar specif­i­cal­ly, here’s an exam­ple of a super awe­some thing: an allo­phone! So in Eng­lish, we’ve got the­se let­ters that makes sounds, let’s take the let­ter /t/for exam­ple: it’s called a phone­me; it rep­re­sents a sound. When you weren’t look­ing, /t/ went out and made a fam­i­ly! That’s right, /t/ has it’s own fuck­ing fam­i­ly, and they are called phones. The [t] in tar is dif­fer­ent from the [t] in star; if you put your hand in front of your mouth when you say “tar” you will feel a puff of air, and that is called an aspi­rat­ed [t] and has it’s own sep­a­rate sym­bol! The [t] in “writer” sounds like a [d] when spo­ken, so that gets ITS OWN SYMBOL (called a flap) and this goes on, AND THAT’S JUST ENGLISH! The­se oth­er /t/ sounds are allo­phones of /t/, aka, bas­tard chil­dren.

And don’t get me start­ed (yep I start­ed a sen­tence with AND; screw you, Ann Lan­ders) on how beau­ti­ful actu­al 3D depic­tions of spo­ken lan­guage are.}

End side track…you for­got you were in brack­ets didn’t you! We’re back to sassy town.

The 2nd rule of grammar club:


We DO make fun of the president of the United States if he makes a grammatical error, and here’s why:

BECAUSE HE’S THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER AND IF HE DOESN’T KNOW BETTER HE SHOULD HIRE PEOPLE WHO DO KNOW BETTER BECAUSE THAT’S HOW LIFE WORKS

Going to leave you with a cou­ple won­der­ful links: one will take you to a twit­ter account called Trump­Gram­mar…no expla­na­tion need­ed, and the sec­ond is a link to a study by CMU that found Trump’s gram­mar to be just below a 6th grade lev­el, Aslan save us all.

PEACE OUT (that’s right I’m end­ing on a prepo­si­tion. EAT IT.)

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3 Mar
2017

I Think I Blue This Post

Life is hard. You’re thrown into this world with no choice of what your name is, who your fam­i­ly is, or who you’re attract­ed to. For George Michael Bluth, none of those things end­ed up in his favor. But every day he man­ages to get out of bed with a pos­i­tive atti­tude. We can all learn a thing from George Michael, and thank God he’s teach­ing us, or else we’d all be get­ting scared straight by a man with one arm. In hon­or of George Michael’s Birth­day on March 3, here are some help­ful tips on rela­tion­ships, busi­ness, and fam­i­ly.

Relationships 101:

Nev­er fall in love with your cous­in

George Michael has dealt with con­flict­ing emo­tions about his cous­in, Mae­by, since the show’s pilot episode. They shared a kiss, and it sent shiv­ers down his once inno­cent spine. His love for her grows over the course of the show, though he’s obvi­ous­ly trou­bled by the nature of this. It is hint­ed that they aren’t bio­log­i­cal­ly relat­ed, but they only find out the truth—Maeby’s moth­er is adopted—after they get to sec­ond base. Ouch.

                         Date some­one mem­o­rable

Business Tips:

Find a void and fill it

George Michael has always been a good stu­dent. In col­lege, he real­ly came into his own, los­ing his vir­gin­i­ty to a Span­ish moth­er while abroad, and devel­op­ing what is the best wood­en block app on the mar­ket. “Fake­Block” start­ed out as a small idea, a musi­cal block app, but, after a white lie and a series of mis­un­der­stand­ings, every­one believed it to be a rev­o­lu­tion­ary anti-social net­work app. Though it was all a mis­un­der­stand­ing that got out of con­trol, Net­flix did make the app to pro­mote the new sea­son.

 There’s always mon­ey in a banana stand 

As Mr. Man­ager, George Michael has a lot of pres­sure on him. On his first day as Mr. Man­ager, Mae­by thinks the whole, “take a dol­lar, take a banana and eat it” sys­tem works well until George Michael real­izes they actu­al­ly have to pay for the bananas they sell. George Michael isn’t the only one we can learn from. His father, Michael, learned the hard way that there’s always mon­ey in a banana stand when he burns it down, only to dis­cov­er there was $250,000 hid­den in the walls.

Bluth Life Lessons:

There is no right way to dance like a chick­en 

Every­one thinks that they have the per­fect chick­en dance. But which way is best? The Bluth fam­i­ly has some very strong opin­ions.

Fam­i­ly comes first 

Through­out the series, George Michael learns that no mat­ter how dys­func­tion­al your fam­i­ly is, they’re always there to fall back on. Even if they were the ones who fucked up the sit­u­a­tion in the first place. No mat­ter how many times you try to leave them, you can’t escape them. The fam­i­ly that burns evi­dence togeth­er, stays togeth­er.